Leave Me Breathless

‘And that’s front-page news?’ I ask, flummoxed.

Jake shrugs, tucking his phone back in his pocket, looking as lost as I am. ‘He’s a big hitter and a bit of an it guy. I don’t know much about him.’

I slump back against the side of the truck, walking myself back through the moment I found Hannah outside the shop. There’s absolutely nothing for me to go on, no clues as to why she had that epic meltdown. Was it something that was said to her? A flashback of some sort? A panic attack?

‘We’d better get back to the girls,’ I say, feeling beaten. ‘I’ve asked Lucinda to dig a bit deeper. I’ll see what she turns up.’ I trudge across the gravel, sinking the last of my beer.

‘And what if she turns up nothing?’ Jake calls, pulling me to a stop.

I look back at him. ‘I’ll carry on looking,’ I admit. Because I will.

‘Ryan.’ Jake takes the few steps needed to join me, dropping his voice. ‘What if there’s nothing to be found?’

‘You said yourself something isn’t right,’ I remind him. ‘I have a hunch. You of all people should understand that.’ I don’t mean to dredge it up; I know that time in his life is off limits, but I’m desperate. I feel like I’m losing my mind, and I need someone or something to reassure me that I’m not.

Jake swallows hard, but he doesn’t swing at me, which is what I half expected. He’s not all too fond of being reminded of the time he was assigned to protect Cami and quickly unassigned when her father found out about their relationship. He knew something was off. He knew Cami wasn’t safe. And he didn’t back down until he’d gotten to the bottom of it.

Throwing his arm around my shoulder, Jake starts to walk us back to the women. ‘I understand,’ he finally admits. ‘Keep me in the loop, yeah?’

I hit my empty bottle against his in agreement. ‘Of course.’

‘So, are you still planning on building some cabins?’ he asks. ‘Or are you too busy investigating your girlfriend?’

‘Very funny,’ I retort. ‘And yes, I am.’

‘Too busy?’ Jake asks, and I throw him a tired look, making him chuckle. ‘Lucinda will be thrilled. So you’re really not coming back.’

‘Nope. I’m done with protection.’ Done with danger. It’s ironic, really. I’m done with security, yet I feel like I need to protect Hannah from something. Problem is, I don’t know what.

‘Here,’ Cami whispers when we reach them, negotiating Caleb in her arms and standing. ‘Pass me his stroller.’

I wheel it over and pull back the blankets so she can lay him down, smiling when his little fists rub at his sleepy face. I never got to lay Alex down like this when she was a tiny baby. I didn’t even see her until she’d turned one. ‘You okay?’ Hannah asks, moving into my side.

‘Yeah.’ I nod down to Caleb. ‘Cute, isn’t he?’

‘Adorable,’ Hannah agrees wistfully, almost sadly. It gets my brain whirling again. Does she want kids? Is it appropriate for me to ask?

‘Would you have any more?’ she says, giving me the perfect opportunity to return her question. But it also puts me on the spot. I’ve never asked myself that question, therefore never answered it. I’ve never found myself in a situation when I’ve had to.

‘I don’t know,’ I say truthfully, buying myself some time. ‘I’ve not really thought about it. You?’

‘Yes, I want them,’ she answers without hesitation. She clearly has thought about it. I feel like I’ve just been thrown an ultimatum, because, with that one-word answer, Hannah’s laid her cards on the table. Do I want more kids? ‘I’d better be heading off,’ she says, breaking away from me and approaching Cami and Jake, giving them each a hug.

She’s going? But I assumed she’d stay the night. My heart drops and my mouth is in action before I can stop it. ‘You’re not staying?’ It sounds a bit accusing, and I really didn’t mean it to.

‘Well, you have a house full, with Jake and Cami and the kids staying.’ She comes to me and gives me a kiss on the cheek. It feels like a token gesture. Shit, have I touched a nerve with all that talk of babies? Did I say the wrong thing?

‘My bed isn’t full,’ I point out, unable to stop my forehead from creasing with a frown. Why’s she so keen to leave all of a sudden? God damn me, I did say the wrong thing, didn’t I?

Hannah gives me a soft smile. I don’t like that, either. It’s almost as if she feels sorry for me. ‘I’ve stayed so much. I don’t want Alex to think I’m invading.’

‘She won’t think that,’ I say urgently, considering going inside and dragging Alex from the TV to confirm I’m right. I don’t want Hannah to leave, especially now.