Leave Me Breathless

I grab her arm, finding it rock-solid, her body tense. ‘Look at me,’ I order. Her eyes snap to mine, and I’m taken aback by the dilation of her pupils, her eyes virtually black. Hollow. I imagine she had this look about her many times in her previous life. A look of desolation mixed with anger. She had no way to exorcise those feelings. She had no way to escape. She lived on a knife-edge, could never have freedom.

Now she does.

I find some strength and reach for her neck, pulling her down. ‘Until the day I die, I will consume so much of your mind, there will be no room for anything else. I will be the shield between you and your memories, Hannah. There is only happiness in our future. Only tenderness and love.’

Her lip wobbles, her face nuzzling into mine. I feel the wet warmth of her tears against my skin. They will be the last tears she ever sheds because of him. ‘Promise me,’ she whispers.

‘I promise you.’Chapter 34HANNAH

Six days later

I’ve been waiting for this day for what feels like centuries. I’ve been praying for all that time, too.

‘I’m coming,’ Ryan declares, not for the first time, as he hisses and spits his way up to a seated position on the couch, panting when he finally makes it. ‘Fuck . . . me.’

I exhale my exasperation and go to him, sitting on the sofa beside him. ‘You’re not coming.’ Not because I don’t want him to, but because he’s far from ready to exert himself to that level. Since we made it back to the cabin last Sunday, he’s been hobbling around the place, refusing to take it easy. I don’t know much about what happened after we walked away from the woods. Well, I walked. Ryan limped, refusing to let me support him. He just wanted to hold my hand. The heroic move was stupid, and I told him so, though he didn’t listen.

Then a woman showed up, a formidable-looking creature, with dark hair and a crisp suit. She didn’t look happy, but I saw the wave of concern for Ryan past her steely exterior. A doctor followed shortly after. I wasn’t the only one who was utterly dumbfounded when Ryan ordered him to check me over first. The stubborn mule wouldn’t budge, either, not until I was cleaned and sewed up.

Jake followed in behind the doctor. His boots were covered with mud and leaves. I caught him shake his head at Ryan, not that Ryan paid much attention. And I heard him mumble a quiet, ‘All sorted.’

Ryan seemed to relax in that moment, allowing the doctor to tend to him. Me? I couldn’t even begin to comprehend the lengths Ryan has gone to in order to protect me. He drank half a bottle of scotch while the bullet was removed, fed to him by Jake. Then he slept for twelve hours straight. And the whole time he slept, I watched him, attempting to process everything that had happened. There was too much, and I scorned myself for even bothering to try. And when Ryan came around, he saw the worry I couldn’t shake off. He said everything would be okay. He promised me.

I believe him.

Now he’s plain grumpy, constantly getting annoyed with himself. On an epic scowl – not at me, but at himself – he pushes his palms into the couch and starts to rise. ‘I’m coming,’ he repeats, struggling to his feet.

I shoot up, far faster than him. ‘Ryan, you—’

His move is quick, but not without discomfort, and he grabs my chin, levelling me with the kind of Ryan look that I know means business. ‘I. Am. Coming.’ He’s so determined. And really, I want him to come. I think I’m going to need the support.

‘Okay,’ I agree. ‘The taxi will be here in a minute.’ I look down at his bare torso and the sweats that cover his bandaged leg. ‘Promise me you’ll be careful.’

He takes my hand and kisses it, not saying anything. He just smiles, walking away slowly to change.

I wait until he’s in the bedroom before I move across to the window, looking out for the taxi. I reach up and blindly tweak my hair, seeing the cab emerge through the trees. My stomach flips upside down. ‘Taxi’s here!’ I call.

My knee bobs up and down at a rapid rate until Ryan is forced to settle his hand there and apply pressure to push my adrenaline back. ‘I’m sorry.’ I pull at my blouse, looking down my front, wondering if the huge sunflowers splattered all over it is too much. Too bright? Too loud? Too . . . alive?

I fold in on myself, my hope fading. And I pray again, pray that last week was just a little blip, that my mother’s fine and I’ll see her today. When the cab pulls up by the park, I crane my neck, trying to see beyond the gates, despite it being a little early. Ryan pays the fare, and I jump out, thoughtlessly leaving him to struggle behind me. I come to my senses when I hear a sharp ‘fuck’ and swing around, rushing back to him.