Leave Me Breathless

Hannah brushes under each eye, nodding. ‘And Alex?’

I think about what Alex said this morning. How resolute she sounded. ‘I’ll talk to her. I just need to find the right time.’ But when will that be?

Hannah’s eyes widen, and she spins away, marching back to the checkout. ‘Hey, I promise I’ll—’

‘Dad?’

Nooooooooo!

I stare at Hannah, who has her back to us, frantically searching for words. Why am I here? What am I doing? Paint! ‘Hannah was just getting what we need.’

‘Yeah, about that,’ Alex says, casually strolling past me and scanning the shelves. ‘I didn’t tell you what we need.’ She turns a sickly sweet smile onto me, and I shrink where I stand. Does she know? Is she purposely making me sweat? And does this mean her words from this morning don’t stand? Or is she just continuing her silly little teasing game because she’s cottoned on to the fact that I fancy someone? Is she getting a kick out of this?

I cough my throat clear. ‘I used my initiative.’

‘So what do we need, then?’

Returning Alex’s fake smile, I wander over to the shelf, pulling down random tubes of paint. Who the hell knows if they’re right, or even suitable for what we need, but I have to keep my hands busy or risk strangling my daughter. ‘We’ll take these.’ I keep my glare fixed on the little shit as I wander to Hannah and slam them down one by one on the counter, making Hannah jerk each time.

‘Thanks, Hannah,’ Cabbage sings, skipping over, all smiles. If she wasn’t okay with me dating, then why’s she all chipper? Did she say what she said this morning on the spur of the moment? ‘We’re finishing our bridge.’

‘You want these to paint a bridge?’ Hannah asks.

‘Yes.’

She reaches for a tube of oil. ‘You’ll need about a hundred of these to paint one of the posts.’

‘Really?’ Alex says, holding back her smile. She knew that. Of course she knew that. Why didn’t I think of it? ‘Oh, well.’ She sighs. ‘We’ll have to go to Grange, Dad.’

I close my eyes and gather patience, not being able to help thinking that Alex has set me up. But then, isn’t that a good thing?

‘Hannah,’ Alex says, resting her elbows on the counter.

Poor Hannah’s eyes dart briefly to mine, nervous. ‘Yes?’

‘How do you feel about Chunky Monkey?’

‘Never tried it,’ she says, way too fast, her cheeks filling with blood. ‘Why do you ask?’

I cringe, seeing Hannah cringing, too, regretting her follow-up question. ‘You should definitely try it,’ Alex declares. ‘It’ll change your life.’ She twirls on the spot, throwing a knowing smile at each of us before sashaying out of the shop. ‘I’ll meet you at the truck.’

Both Hannah and I watch her go until she disappears around the corner. And then I laugh lightly to myself, shaking my head.

‘Oh my God, she knows.’ Hannah descends into a full-blown panic, pacing to the window to look out.

‘She doesn’t know.’ She so fucking knows. But the question is, what does she think she knows? That we fancy each other? That we’ve kissed? Spent the night? How do you feel about Chunky Monkey? She really does know.

Hannah shuffles around from the window, her head low, her chin on her chest. I don’t like despondency on her. ‘I’m sorry.’

Whoa. Sorry? ‘What for?’

‘I could have played that better. Been more convincing.’

‘How exactly?’ I laugh, now quite amused by the whole situation. I underestimated my daughter, but right now I don’t care. She hasn’t flown off the handle. She hasn’t given me a hard time or made me feel guilty. All my fears have been blown out of the water, because I know my girl, and I saw happiness past her need to play with me.

‘I don’t know.’ Hannah sighs, her hand coming to her forehead and rubbing. ‘This is strange ground for me, Ryan. You, your daughter, my feelings.’

I miss everything except the feelings bit. ‘What feelings?’ I ask, and she looks up, stunned, like she can’t believe she said that. I cock my head in prompt, and I see with perfect clarity what’s standing before me. A woman in just as much turmoil as me. Our reasons might be different, but for now I’ll take comfort in the fact that this is new territory for us both. I know what’ll make me feel better, and I hope it serves the same purpose for Hannah. I go to her, cup the side of her face, and kiss her.

Everything is right in an instant. The sounds she’s making, the feel of her, my thoughts levelling out.

And then the door to the shop flies open, and Hannah is suddenly out of my arms. I startle, my head still dropped to accommodate our height difference. What the . . . ?

I look to my left and find Alex.