Dare To Love Again

The knowledge that my cock was slipping and sliding into the seed that I’d spilled inside her just hours before worked on my libido like an aphrodisiac, and I was painfully hard in no time as I fucked into her nice and slow, picking up speed as she moved along with me, her arms and legs coming around me holding me tight.

When I came in her this time, it was with a gentler passion than before. I held her close as our hearts beat together as one, even though in my head, I was still questioning what the hell I was doing. When I rolled away from her, she must’ve still been in the throes of slumber because instead of keeping her distance the way she had been, she curled into my chest the way she used to when we were husband and wife, sighed, and went right back to sleep.

I laid awake for much longer after she fell asleep, trying to make sense of the picture that was unfolding. I should ask her about the Sterling Winthrop angle, but somehow something was warning me not to. If she’d been so afraid to leave me two years ago, who knows what she’ll do this time if I showed my hand too soon. I can’t take the risk of losing them again. I acknowledge that it isn’t just my son that I’m worried about losing though I won’t say that shit out loud.* * *We sat across from each other at the breakfast table with our son in his new highchair between us. The baby worked as a good buffer since neither of us wanted to think or talk about what we’d done before leaving my bed not too long ago. It was the first time she’d awakened in my bed, the first time since she’s been back that I didn’t treat her like a receptacle for my lust.

It was comically awkward to wake up to her in my arms, staring up at me, and to save face since I was the one holding her, I’d turned her onto her chest without a word, spread her thighs, and eased my cock into her ass. Don’t ask me why I did that shit. It’s as if the more I find myself softening towards her, the more I have to prove to her that I don’t give a fuck.

I know from past experience that anal is not exactly her favorite thing, and anal without lube is on no one’s bucket list of things to do. I guess I was trying to hide my weakness for her behind the degradation of taking her ass raw before cumming all over her ass and back like she was nothing more than something I’d picked up off the streets for a night of fun.

Now neither of us can look the other in the eye, she maybe because she’d enjoyed it way too much and me, because of my son who was now sitting between us picking at his cereal while chortling away at us. I’d fucked his mother in the ass, showed her no respect, and then barely cleaned my rod before making her suck me off so I could fuck her tight pussy again. I’m deeply ashamed and mad at myself for feeling that way.

“I have to run out for a little bit this morning.” The first thing I’d done after showering was to check my messages and saw that Silas had already set something up with the friend of Sterling Winthrop, who seemed only too eager to talk. I had a few ideas of my own playing around in my head, and as farfetched as they seemed, I think it’s best to get them out of the way so we can move on with the investigation.

“You’re not to go anywhere. I’ll have a new security team in place by later this afternoon and a new driver.”

“What happened to Sam?” Sam used to be her old driver.

“He was fired after you disappeared; he couldn’t do his job. Did you think I’d keep him around?”

In fact, I’d damn near killed the other man when I thought he had something to do with her disappearance or had had a hand in helping her leave and was refusing to say. Back then, he was responsible for knowing her every move, but when the trained ex-mercenary had sworn up and down that he had no idea where she went, I’d lost my shit. It took half of Silas’ team to get me off him.

It’s only when all of my efforts to find her had failed that I started to believe him and had rehired him in a new position. I couldn’t very well fault him for something I myself wasn’t capable of solving. I was feeling mean because she’d spent the night in my bed, so I didn’t tell her that Sam was fine. No doubt she was thinking about his wife and kids and the fact that his wife had been pregnant with their third child around the time she’d left. At least the person I once knew would think about stuff like that. Who knows what the fuck this one is into.