Savage Love (Ash and Innocence 2)

What wasn’t the problem? “Cassian has been a dick to me all this time because he blamed me for something. But now he doesn’t, and he’s starting to treat me better. So all the conflicts I had about feeling something for him are seeming like they aren’t as relevant.”

“Okay. So you like him now and the obstacles are out of the way. So where’s the wrinkle?”

“Clint was a wrinkle, but I finally got through to him. Now it’s Zoe. I think she’s going to hate me if I get back with Cassian, and I don’t know what to do.”

“I see. The old ultimatum. Do you choose sausage or a taco?” Marne frowned at her phone. “It’s Tuesday, and you know what that means.”

“What?”

“Taco Tuesday?”

I groaned. “I don’t want to lose my friend. But I think there’s something special between Cassian and me. I don’t want to lose that, either.”

“So you think he’s done enough to earn your forgiveness? Wasn’t this the same guy who bullied you when you first got here?”

“Yeah. But I understand where his head was, even if I don’t agree with the way he chose to cope with his feelings.”

“Well, there are a few ways to look at it as far as I see things. Logically speaking, a compatible romantic partner is harder to find than a compatible friend. There’s a bigger checklist of things that need to go right for two people of the opposite gender to enter into a relationship.”

I sighed. I wasn’t exactly sure what kind of advice I expected Marne to give me. “I don’t want to have to choose. Why can’t I just make Zoe understand that Cassian deserves a second chance?”

“Wouldn’t this be more like a fifth chance?”

I snorted. “I haven’t been keeping count. But that’s a fair point.”

“Maybe give him a chance to prove he’s really changing. Let him show you—and her—that he deserves this. Also, have you considered that you’re reading the situation wrong? Zoe is probably the nicest person I’ve ever met. I mean, she’s friends with me, for starters. Maybe she wouldn’t even care?”

“I don’t know how she couldn’t.”

Marne shrugged. “Well. People can surprise you. So maybe let Cassian try to surprise you by showing he deserves it, then worry about Zoe.”

“Yeah,” I said, nodding. “That actually makes sense.”

“‘Actually?’ You say that like you didn’t expect me to make sense.”

“I expected bear and wolf analogies. Maybe a helpful life tip about which wild berries are edible and which aren’t. The bar was low, Marne.”

She took a bite of some dark, mysterious dried meat wrapped in cellophane. “Safer not to eat wild berries, period. You’ll end up shitting out all your water and burn through energy faster than if you hadn’t eaten in the first place.”

“Noted. Thanks for the advice. I guess now it’s up to me to hope Cassian somehow proves he’s really worthy of forgiveness.”

Except there was one problem I wasn’t ready to admit. I’d already forgiven him. In fact, I think I was realizing that I’d never completely blamed him for anything he’d done. He was still the boy I knew ten years ago, at least once I got past the thorns.

Cassian had also become tied up with the tragedy of the fire. I couldn’t bring my mom back. I couldn’t erase the scars of seeing what my dad had become. But Cassian was the one angle of the fire I could fix. We’d both left that house missing pieces of ourselves, and maybe I couldn’t stop coming back to him because we’d been uniquely broken—broken in a way that only we could understand and hope to mend.Splashing sounds outside my window woke me up. I went to the window and looked out over the sprawling lawn behind the Stone’s house. Moonlight hit the lake like a spotlight, making it clear to see that someone was swimming. I strained my eyes long enough to be almost certain it was Cassian.

I threw on a jacket and headed outside to stand by the shoreline and watch. He left a small wake behind him as he stroked out to the island I’d swam to on that night I came to his party with Zoe. I couldn’t help remembering how wrong I’d been while I swam.

I could still feel the way my belly had dropped to the floor when I realized it was a prank.

A few minutes later, Cassian reached the shore again and got out of the water. I blinked a few times at the sight of him in nothing but soaked gray underwear that clung to him. He looked so picturesque with rivulets of water streaming down his muscle-clad frame and moonlight haloing him that I almost laughed.

Cassian was larger than life. He was impossible in so many ways. Impossibly gorgeous, obstinate, and relentless.

“Is this supposed to mean something to me?” I asked. Even though I already knew what it was supposed to mean and how well it was working, I still wanted him to have to say it out loud.