I Can Explain (Awkward Love 2)

He sits forward, and then he straightens himself up, meeting my eyes.

“Look. I’m not here for your pity or to make you feel bad. I just thought you should know the kind of man my brother really is and decide what you want to do based on the truth, rather than just half of it.”

He stands and walks over to the door. I follow him, still not sure what I’m supposed to do now.

“Will you be okay?” I ask him suddenly. I can’t imagine what he’s going through. To find all of this out on your wedding night? I shudder, feeling for the poor guy.

“I don’t know,” he mumbles. “Ask me in a few weeks?”

“You said you came here to tell me the truth,” I say, something hitting me. “How did you know that I knew?”

He smiles. “Casey. She saw the exchange between Chase and her parents. I think your reaction is what prompted her to be honest with me.”

Wow. I wasn’t expecting that.

I watch him leave, not sure how I’m feeling, other than lost and a barrage of other emotions that are doing nothing for helping me decide on what to do next.

I need to talk to Chase. I need to hear all of this from him.

Because that’s the only way I’m going to know what the truth really is.Chapter Eighteen

Chase“And don’t bother coming back in tomorrow,” I growl.

I slam down the phone and rest my head on my desk. Despite what people may think, I don’t like firing people, but when they’ve proven themselves to be incompetent, unreliable fuckwits, what other choice do I have?

As it turns out, I’ve encountered a lot of them these last few days. It’s completely coincidental that it coincides with me still not hearing from Alana. All I want is a chance to explain things from my point of view. If she just took two seconds to hear me out, she’d realize that things are not quite what they seem.

“God, Alana, what are you doing to me?” I mutter.I manage to get through to the end of the day without calling her again, but when I leave the office, I find myself driving past her place. I’ve done the same thing every night since we got back. I even worked up the courage to knock on her door last night, but she wouldn't answer. I don't know if she was in there or not. Either way, it didn't matter, because I left feeling just as worked up as I was when I got there.

Today when I pull up outside her building, I sit there in my car, trying to figure out all the things I want to say to her. I should write her a letter and slide it under her door. No. This is the kind of thing I need to say to her in person. I can't just come out and tell her the truth, because it's been hidden inside me for so long that it feels like part of me.

Not only that, if Josh found out the truth and it wasn't from me, I’m not sure how he would react. Not that I think for a second that she would go gossiping around town about me, but this affects more than just me.

I'm about to start my car and leave when I look up and see Josh.

My hands clench onto the steering wheel as I stare at him, sure I’m seeing things. Why is he leaving her place? I don't know what to think, so I let the irrational thoughts take over. Is he doing it again? First Casey, now Alana. It’s a ridiculous thought but knowing that and believing it are two different things.

Instead of walking over there and asking him why he’s there, I take the easy way out and leave. I’m way too wound up to talk to him like this. I take off down the street, my pulse racing out of control. I'm not sure where I'm going, but I just need to get out of her neighborhood. I drive randomly around the streets, my head a mess. All this anger isn’t healthy. I need to get to the root of the problem and deal with that if I have any chance of fixing this. There’s only one person I need to speak to in order to sort out what I’m feeling, so that’s where I head.

I bang on her door for five minutes straight, before it swings open.

Casey stands there, staring at me, looking bewildered.

“Chase,” she murmurs. “If you’re here to see Josh, he’s not home,” she adds.

“I'm not here to see Josh,” I say calmly. “I'm here to see you. Her eyes widen at the anger in my voice and to be honest, it’s shocking even me. “Why?” I ask her. “I need to know why you did it.”