Planting His Seed

“Oh my God,” I say between fits of laughter. “I swear I got drunk from like two shots, too.” I shake my head at the memories that slam into me. It is good to be home, good to be back .

We watch a little bit of a cheesy romantic movie, just like old times. The silence is comfortable, welcoming. I am exhausted from traveling all day, but I don't want this night to end just yet .

“Oh, I forgot to tell you I ran into Jake a few days ago .”

I shift on the couch to look at her. “Jake Anderson? I haven't thought about him in years .”

Although Donna is looking at the TV, her grin stretches across her face. “Oh, he's definitely thought about you .”

I feel my brows pull down lower in confusion. “What does that mean ?”

She turns partially on the couch so she's looking at me as well. “I just told him that you were coming back to town since you graduated and you should've seen the way his face lit up with that information. Dude, the guy has a hard on for you like nobody's business. I swear he's been carrying a torch for you since high school .”

“You're insane,” I say and laugh a little awkwardly. Although I knew Jake had a crush on me in high school, she makes it seem like he is still thinking about me, wanting me all these years later. That is a little unbelievable .

She shakes her head. “No, I'm not insane. The guy totally wants you. He even wanted me to give you his phone number so you guys could go out while you're in town.” She reaches for her cell and holds her hand out for mine .

I stare at her palm for a long second, wondering if contacting a guy I haven't spoken to in years, who may or may not desire me, is really a good idea .

Take the number. You need to stop lusting after a man who will probably never see you as anything more than that little girl who lost her father .

I close my eyes for a second and exhale. Truth is I'll never fully know if Carson wants me. I will never have the guts to actually ask him, to admit how I feel for him. Because I know as soon as I utter those words, things will change between us. I know lines will be crossed, and that uncomfortable, awkward relationship that I dread having with him will be established .

I hand over my phone and watch as she types in Jake's phone number. Besides, what's the worst thing that can happen? So I call him up and we go out and catch up on old times. It can't hurt, and it would be nice to see someone from back in the day .

But even thinking that, knowing that, I can't help but feel this uncomfortable sensation wash over me at the fact I'm contacting another guy. I've only ever wanted Carson, and even a friendly date with a guy I used to go to school with seems…wrong .Chapter 5CarsonI ’ve worked my ass off today, but it’s worth it. Owning a farm isn’t exactly a glamorous life. It’s a lot of hard work. But I have the cornfields planted in the north pasture, and I have the hay mowed and ready to be turned in a couple of days. That means as of tonight, I am free to enjoy the evening and all day tomorrow and tomorrow night with Jenny. She’s been a little distant since she came back from her friend’s. I made an effort to come in for lunch to see her, but she was in her room. Mavis said she had a migraine, so as much as it hurt me not to—I didn’t bother her .

Now, though, I’m dying to see her, to smell that familiar scent of vanilla when she’s in the room, to hear her laugh and to feel her head lie against my chest, while seeing the smile on her lips that haunts me every day. I throw on clean clothes, and run a quick comb through my damp hair, anxious as hell to get to her .

I expected to see her on the couch, watching one of those damn television shows she loves. I only keep cable because she likes it. I rarely get time to turn a television on. Hell, when she’s gone, I never touch it. Then again, when Jenny is not here I can’t bring myself to go in the living room. I stay in my office. The house feels empty without her. I feel empty without her .

I head into the living room, but to my disappointment the room is empty .

“Mavis!” I yell out, staring at the empty couch like a mad man—as if that will make her appear out of thin air .