The Brightest Stars

I kept my eyes closed as I came down from my blissful state, only to enter another one. I hoped with everything in me he wouldn’t be like Brien and ask how it was. It instantly made everything about him. I didn’t think Kael was like that and he proved me right as I laid my head on his chest and the silence sat comfortably between us.

“I want to show you these new windows that came in for my place,” Kael told me out of the blue, while he drew circles over my bare hip.

“Is that what you think about after you make girls come?”

“Just you. My two favorite things, my renovation projects and you.” He looked shy when he said it and that made me giggle.

“I’m just ready for you to finish that duplex so you can work on my house,” I joked. I did love the idea of Kael tearing out the cabinets in my kitchen, without a shirt. Wasn’t that every girl’s fantasy, a devoted guy hard at work—for her.

I buried my head into his chest like he could hear my thoughts.

“Mhmm, I can’t wait to work on your house so I can sleep here every night, in this bed.” He squeezed me tighter.

“I love when you’re off work. You need more days off. Imagine if we had an entire day to ourselves,” he said into my hair. I loved the way his thick fingers wrapped around my dark strands, gently twisting between and around them. It made me think of him rubbing at my skin, making me orgasm without taking my panties off.

I nodded against him, so content and warm. I felt tired all of a sudden, and I realized that I could actually sleep if I wanted to. That was a first for me to be so relaxed during the day that I could fall asleep. I suspected it had everything to do with the company.

Kael was humming a song, telling me about this little band he found in a bar in Kentucky after he graduated basic training and how he heard their song on the radio. I loved when he was tired and his voice was even deeper than it always was.

“I’m so relaxed, you would think that I came too,” he said.

I leaned up, lifting my face to where he could see it. “Do you want to?” I kissed his chin.

He smiled. “Is that a rhetorical question?”

I shook my head.

I started to kiss down his chin, around his collarbone and shoulders. His skin was so soft under my lips, I kissed the scar across his shoulder twice.

He started to talk to me, to encourage me, tell me how hard I made him, when his phone started to ring on the nightstand. He grabbed it, eyes reading the screen.

“It’s Mendoza,” he said, showing me the phone.

I nodded, telling him to answer.

“Hey, you—” Kael started to speak, but he was cut off by shouting.

“Hey, hey man, slow down. Everything’s okay.” Kael’s voice was different again, back to Sergeant Martin he was.

It astounded and impressed me. He had such great empathy, his soul glowed from the inside. I thought maybe our empathy would one day be our destruction because it seemed neither of us could control it. But for now, we were both alive and he was showing me what a thoughtful man looked like. Beautiful brown skin, sympathetic eyes, and a considerate heart. That’s exactly what it looked like.

“No, no. We’re okay, bud. Let’s talk about where you are? And I’ll come meet you, we’ll grab a beer, shoot some darts, whatever.” Kael was out of my bed, sliding his pants up his legs before his friend responded.

I didn’t know what to do so I just sat there on the bed as Kael moved around me, in full-on mission mode. His eyes touched me every few seconds to remind me that he knew I was still there, but he was so focused on Mendoza on the other line that it was impressive and chilling.

“Just me. I won’t tell Gloria where you are. I don’t want Karina to know either.” Kael looked at me. I don’t mean what I’m saying, his eyes told me. I knew that.

Kael’s shoes were on and he told Mendoza he was on his way. “Look, look, go back inside and order us some beers. Hell, I’ll drink tequila with you, but don’t leave, wait there for me.”

Was he going to hurt himself? I got out of the bed and moved toward Kael. He held his finger up to tell me to keep quiet.

“I’ll be there soon, everything’s fine. Don’t talk to anyone else until I get there,” Kael instructed.

“Is everything okay?” I asked him. He nodded.

“Mendoza, he’s drunk and started saying these guys were spying on him. It’s paranoia from having to watch your back all the time. From seeing your buddies get blown up. I get it,” he said. His words rattled me.

“I’m sorry I have to go again.” He kissed my forehead, then my cheeks, then my mouth. “I’ll be back as soon as I’m done there.”

“Don’t drink tequila and drive,” I told him. “Actually, let me drive you?”

He shook his head. “I’m sorry, Kare, but if he sees you after I told him you weren’t coming, he won’t trust me. I’m not going to drink tequila there, and neither is he. I’m going to convince him to go to Steak and Shake with me. Milkshakes only,” he told me.

“I have to go to my dad’s, but I’ll have my phone on me. I really don’t want to. I’m so tired,” I told him, leaning against his chest for one more touch before he left.

“Don’t go then? It’s just one night. You’ve been working your ass off lately and wasting all your free time entertaining me.” He hugged me. “You hate going there anyway. Why not just take a week off?” I couldn’t see Kael’s face, but his voice was convincing enough. He was right, why was I so willing to put myself through the inconvenience of going to these scheduled dinners every week just so I wouldn’t upset my dad and his Stepford wife. At least when Rory and Loralie are forced to go to Rory’s grandma’s house, they miss when something comes up. I could do that. I was an adult, I could miss it.

“I l—” Kael started to say when he pulled away.

I pretended not to hear it. I didn’t want anything to ruin our happy little bubble and if he started saying he loved me when we had only known each other a week, I would never forgive him.

“Be safe and text me when you get there to let me know everything’s okay, please?” I asked of him. He nodded, kissed me again and walked to the bedroom door.

“What are you going to do about tonight?” Kael asked.

I made up my mind. “Tonight, I’m going to nap until you’re back.”

A smile spread across his face but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“He’s okay, right?” I asked him.

He nodded. “Yeah, Kare. He’s going to be okay,” he reassured me.

I fell into bed thinking about how many soldiers across the globe had demons chasing them long after they had left the battlefield. Home wasn’t such a safe place for them. I drifted off to sleep wondering how strong the demons chasing my soldier were.

Kael was asleep in my bed when I got home from the store. I texted my dad, only saying sorry I can’t make it, and took a three hour nap and then went to the grocery store. I called him back while I walked through the freezer aisles and told him that I didn’t feel like coming. That was it. He didn’t like my answer, but let me get off the phone when Austin called his other line. Elodie was at another FRG gig, a cookout this time. She seemed happy to be out socializing, especially since she found a couple of wives who were actually nice to her. They were new at the post and didn’t want anything to do with the catty assholes who thought it was fun to target Elodie. Being outsiders themselves, they could see the situation for what it was, a pack of mean girls who hadn’t quite grown up who somehow thought it was okay to let jealousy guide every action. Elodie’s new friends just wanted to drink wine and watch Netflix so, minus the wine, it was perfect for Elodie.

Kael was shirtless, wearing boxer briefs that accentuated his muscly thighs. I thought back to the first day I saw him in the lobby, when he refused to take off his sweats or let me touch his right leg. It wasn’t that long ago that the stranger with the strange name was lying on my massage table, and here he was, lying on my bed, his arm dangli

ng over the side.

I lifted his hand and held it in mine, brought it to my lips and kissed him gently. He didn’t stir. Holding his hand like this … touching each of his fingers, tracing the little creases around his knuckles … just his hand in mine was the best remedy. I loved his hands—how big they were, how strong. I thought of how they held me, touched me, brought me to the brink and beyond. I gently dropped his arm, slid my shoes and pants off, and climbed into bed with him. He woke up as soon as I wrapped my body around his, clinging to him like he was life support.

Life support. That’s what he was starting to feel like for me. I should have been worried about that, but I wasn’t. I’d never been the needy type, never played the damsel in distress. It’s just not my style. And yet … there he was, this knight sprawled out and cozy in my bed.

I should have remembered that not all fairy tales end in happily-ever-after.

When Kael’s eyes open, confusion filled them for a few seconds. I saw the moment he came back to reality. “Hey.” He curled his body into mine. We were trying to crawl inside of each other, anything less … well, nothing would feel close enough unless that was possible.