The Brightest Stars

I wish he knew I couldn’t help it. I wanted to move. I desperately wanted to move and run inside and hide under my covers and pretend it never happened.

“Karina.” Kael’s voice was punishment wrapped in silk.

I couldn’t speak through the lump in my throat. My tongue felt so heavy.

He looked the same and it surprised me. How had it only been a week since I had touched him? It didn’t seem possible. My body was a traitor, reminiscing over his warmth as he stood in the yard, too far away from me.

My brother stood up, covering my view of Kael for a second. Just what I needed to help me snap out of it.

“See you later,” I said to Austin, as casually as I could manage without looking at Kael. I deserved an Academy Award. I grabbed the screen door handle and didn’t look back again. Once inside, once I heard the click of the lock, I pressed my body against the front door. It was an attempt to stabilize myself, to keep myself upright. It didn’t work. I cried so hard that I slid down onto the floor. That’s where I stayed until Elodie came home from work and lured me up with pictures of her sonogram. Her little avocado was now the length of a banana. She was so happy that I cried again.

I WAS FINE CLOSING FOR ELODIE since she was having back pain. And I was fine when Mali left early to let her dogs out because her husband’s poker game bled over and he wouldn’t be home in time. But being in the spa alone? I hated it.

My imagination was the problem, the way it loved to travel to extremes—and quickly. I was starting to get creeped out, like I used to when I was left alone in my parent’s house and still do sometimes in my own place. I was thinking of all those urban legends that everyone thought were so funny. The call is coming from inside the house! I never got the joke, myself. And the one about the man hiding under the girl’s bed, licking her fingers so that she’d think it was her dog? Yeah … I was freaking myself out.

I didn’t have long to go. There were no clients on the schedule sheet and I doubted anyone would be walking down the strip mall within the next twenty minutes, so I closed down my room for the night and got stuff ready for the morning. The cleaning company had been in the night before and everything was in pretty good shape. I just had to straighten up a few things and make sure all the candles were out. That kind of thing. I turned the lights off, one by one, before locking the back door—padlock too—and shutting off the office light.

I practically ran to the lobby where the lights were still on, and switched off the overhead lighting. I turned on the flashlight on my phone and walked to the front corner window to turn on the floor lamp. We always kept one dim light on, to prevent break-ins. Mali told me that schools did this too, and for the same reason. Just the mention of a break-in plucked at my nerves.

Freaking yourself out much, Karina?

I was laughing a little at myself then, telling myself what a wimp I was. It was like all those CSI scenarios I made up for people. And Law & Order? Too many Law & Order SVU marathons had obviously done a number on my head.

And then I saw a shadow approach the door and practically jumped out of my skin. I think I may have screamed a little, too. I stood still, trying to catch my breath and slow my heart rate. The shadow moved closer into view and that’s when I saw that it was a man—a young one, but not a boy. Maybe a soldier given the haircut. It was a little late for someone to just pass by. Plus I didn’t recognize him, and that made me a little uneasy.

I had never been alone in the spa at night before and I would surely never do it again. And I wished to God I had listened to Kael when he told me to start carrying mace again. I looked at the now empty pink stick dangling from my purse. Wasn’t it funny how it was pink? Like it just had to be “cute and girly” so I could protect myself from men at night.

The man tugged at the door and I stepped into view, flicking the other lamp back on. I turned the flashlight off on my phone and kept a little distance from the door.

“Hey, sorry are you closed?” He was calm. His voice was friendly enough.

“Yeah, well, in ten minutes.” I sounded like a terrified church mouse. I felt like one too, and I hated that. Courage, Karina.

“Oh, sorry. I think I did something to my back during PT and was hoping you guys would still be open.” He sounded genuine enough, but I couldn’t see his face.

“We could see you in the morning? I could come in early?” I offered, assuming he would have to work, but feeling sort of guilty knowing he was a soldier and in pain.

“I think I can get out of PT in the morning, can I come in and put my name down?” he asked. I looked up at the little red light of the camera hanging on the wall and unlocked the door. My mind flashed back to Law & Order and how Mali would react when she discovered my body in the morning.

The man stepped inside and looked into my eyes. It was a little off-putting, but honest too, in a strange sort of way. He followed me to the desk and I grabbed the paper version of the schedule since I had already shut the computer down. I looked at my day tomorrow.

“I have a ten o’clock opening and a twelve, but I could come in at nine or eight thirty for you since you came all this way tonight,” I told him.

I didn’t know where he came from, but I was trying to recite some of the typical customer service lines I’ve used from job to job. Inconveniencing yourself for the unhappy customer or client usually does the trick, unless the customer is a real jerk. Then they’re on their own.

“Let’s do nine thirty so it will be extra quiet in here.” He looked behind him to the hours of operation painted on the front door in clear white letters.

“Okay.” I swallowed. “Nine thirty it is. Can I have your name please?”

“Nielson,” he told me. I wrote it down. It sounded familiar, but I knew I had never seen his face before. I knew faces.

“Are you the one who … you know, gives the special kind of massage?” His voice crawled over me like tiny little spiders.

My stomach dropped. “What did you just say?” I asked. Accused was more like it. I looked at the camera again, this time in a real obvious way. This time he noticed.

“Um, er … yeah. Well … I heard there’s one of you here who does,” he slithered. “You know. Special massages …”

I wanted to throw up. I wanted to run. But I reached deep for my courage and held my ground.

“I’m going to ask you to leave,” I said, as firmly as possible. Then I reached for the land line and lifted it halfway to my ear.

He held up his hands in mock surrender, smirking. I thought I saw a flash of metal in the back of his jaw when he laughed. “Sure, okay, okay. I’m teasing. Sorry, sorry.” He held his hands up. “No harm done. No need to get defensive.”

I stared at him, silently, not lowering the phone and hoping he couldn’t see my hand shaking or the way my knuckles were stretched and white, holding onto the phone as tightly as I could. After the longest few seconds of my life, he retreated, walking backward toward the front door.

He kept his eyes on me though. Those icy blue eyes and taut pale skin were much sinister now that he was scaring the shit out of me. I couldn’t let him see that he was though, so I held my lips in a tight line and kept the phone up so that he could see.

Just before he backed out of the door, the stranger smiled again. “You’re Fischer’s daughter, right?” An alarm sounded in my head. Who was this guy?

The bell dinged when he pressed his back against the door. My heart was pounding out of my chest. Please leave, I silently begged him. Please go. He turned around and hovered in the doorway. And in that moment, just as the door was slowly pulling closed, Kael appeared on the sidewalk. I thought I was going to pass out at the sight of him there.

Kael. In the flesh. I wasn’t alone anymore.

KAEL OPENED THE DOOR and I climbed into his truck. I tried not to think about how much was left unresolved between us or how much I wanted to move next to him and hold onto his warm body.

Old-school Kings of Leon was playing low t

hrough the speakers.

“Seatbelt,” Kael reminded me, as usual.

“You’re in no position to be bossy,” I told him. He smiled. “I’m starting the clock now,” I said. “Twenty minutes.” And I did too. I set my iPhone timer.

He smiled again. I hated that my guard was slipping and slipping fast, but the burst of relief I felt when he looked at me, head titled and lips parted … well, I didn’t hate that.

“What?” I asked him, tucking my chin into my shoulder to hide my mouth.

“It feels good to breathe again,” he responded, eyes locked onto mine. That was it. Addiction. Relapse. I couldn’t help it if I wanted to.

“Mhmm,” I teased him. “Ask me stuff,” I said to break the intensity. It was either that or give into my body and touch his shoulders, his neck, his lips.

All of the pain from the last week felt worth it just to be sitting here beside him. As I said. Addiction.

He turned the radio down.

“Are you sure you’re okay? You looked spooked. You know, by that guy who was walking out of your work.” He sounded concerned. I wanted him to be concerned, even if I wouldn’t ever admit it to him.

I nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine. Really.” It would hit me later on. I knew that. When I was alone, without the safety of Kael’s body next to me, without the protection his presence offered, it would hit me what happened, that some creepy guy came in and made a disgusting joke and knew my dad by name. I rolled down the passenger window to get some fresh air. It smelled a little like fresh rain and earthworms. It helped calm me. The wind blowing, Kael driving, the loud thrum of the engine in this beast of a truck he drives. It all helped calm me.