The Man In The Mirror

“Before you do that you should get your lawyer to explain to you what our pre-nup entitles you to, and what you could reasonably expect to leech off me. I think you will find out very quickly that I apparently own no assets at all, but play nice and I’ll make sure you’re very well taken care of for the rest of your life. You’ll have full visiting rights, which considering how much time you actually spend with Zackary, should be perfectly adequate for your needs.”

She was sobbing and shouting obscenities when I walked out of there.

Chapter 49

Jillian

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEMUsC8ppU0

Don’t Cry For Me Argentina

I was on the ground groveling, crying, and screaming for him … and he just walked out.

It was just too unbelievable. Could it really be that he didn’t care anymore? I stopped crying and stood up. I think I was in a state of shock. He’d been locked away in his wing, almost a cripple for so long, I never even imagined the day would come when he’d strong enough to move forward without me.

I was Zackary’s mother.

He needed me. Even if he didn’t love me, he loved Zackary with all his heart.

I could always get him back through Zackary. It was that bitch! She gave him strength. Until she came he was wear and dependent on me. He still needed me. But she had come and given him ideas. Made him think he deserved more. She laid with him and made him believe he was not a monster.

I had to find a way to make it right again.

I thought about threatening to reveal to Zackary he was not his father, but that would be self-defeating. Zackary might want to know who his father was and I didn’t know either. Also, I was smart enough to realize that Zackary was my real power over him and I had no intention of giving that up.

I walked to drawer and pulled out a bottle of gin. I unscrewed the top and drank straight from the bottle.

“Mummy?”

I swallowed. “Yes, darling.”

“Is Daddy mad with you?

I put the bottle on the table. “I’m afraid he is mad with both of us.”

“Why?”

“I think someone’s been saying really bad things about us.”

His eyes grew round. “Who?”

“I don’t know, you know that Charlotte stole Mummy’s necklace, right?’

He swallowed hard and refused to look at me. I stared at him in shock. My God, that bitch had turned my own son against me. “Zackary look at me.”

He lifted his head up. “You do know that Charlotte stole Mummy’s necklace, right?” I repeated.

“Daddy said it was a misunderstanding.”

For a moment I couldn’t believe my own ears. Terrible rage hit the base of my brain. My hand closed over the gin bottle and I threw it across the room. Zackary screamed and ran out of the room. Barnaby arrived at the door.

“Is everything okay, Madam?” he asked.

I knew he was a traitor too. I’d seen him hugging and kissing that bitch when she was leaving. “Get out, you worthless servant,” I screamed.

Expressionlessly, he nodded his stupid head and backed away. It made me even more angry. I needed more than a drink. I wanted to be back in London. I wanted Anton to tie me to his cross and punish me until I screamed and climaxed because the pain was too much. I found my cellphone and booked Anton for that evening. Then I went to the bar and I began to drink. I drank a whole bottle of Brett’s best Scotch. It tasted like shit, but I wanted to feel happy again.

I had never been happy in my life. Little insignificant creatures like the nanny could find happiness, but never me. I started to sob. I could feel the pain coming from deep inside. I hated that bitch. I knew where she lived. I wanted to go and teach her a lesson.

How dare she?

I gave her a job and she stole my man and my son. Ungrateful thief. I just couldn’t understand it. How could Brett even look at her with her fat legs, her coarse features, and her cheap clothes. I stood up and the room tilted. I knew her address. I would go to her and kick her simpering face in.

I took one step, then another.

Mr. Boothsworth caught up with me at the front door. “Where are you going, Madam?”

Irritating idiot. “Bring my car around.”

He frowned. “I don’t think you should.”

I grabbed him by his tie. “Listen you little rat. Bring my car around or you’re fired.”

A very strange expression crossed his eyes.

I blinked in shock and let go of his clothing. I staggered back and stared at him. I must have been very drunk, because the look he gave me was one of loathing. As if I was a piece of gum stuck to his good shoe.

“I’ll bring the car around Madam,” he said softly, then he was gone.

I waited alone for someone to bring my car around. I wished Brett was home. I wished had been a good wife to him. I wished I had never hired the nanny. I wished I could love Zackary the way other mothers loved their children. I wished I wasn’t so fucked up.

A strong wind blew at my face. It made my hair fly into my face. I turned towards the wind, and it flattened my clothes against my body. For an instant I felt more alive than I had ever been. I turned my face up to the heavens. Then my red Mercedes sports came to a stop in front of me. One of the staff, Brian or whatever his name was, got out and I fell into the driver’s seat.

I closed the door and stepped on the gas. Life was good. Everything was going to be fine for me. Tomorrow I would find a way to win Brett back.

Chapter 50

Charlotte

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDxzQJaA228

I knew you were waiting for me

When I got back to my apartment all I did was sleep for nearly three days, because I was unable to do anything else.

April’s eyes widened in surprise when I opened the front door, headache throbbing and eyes swollen from too much sleeping and crying.

“Why are you here so early?” I asked.

“Because no matter when I call I get your answering machine,” she said shutting the door and following me into the living room. With a sigh, I continued on to retrieve the leftover pizza from the previous night, and put it into the microwave.

“Are you ready to talk yet?” she asked me and I shook my head. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

“That hurts.”

I turned to her. “Oh babe, it’s not because I don’t want to share it with you, you know that. I just want to forget about it all for now. Once it’s all sorted out in my brain and I get back to normal I’ll tell you everything.”

“I’m here for you, okay,” she said and came over to force me into a hug. Her big stomach kept the hug oddly A shaped. I tried and failed to get away so I just relaxed into her arms, the familiar embrace reminding me of the one I had received from my mother yesterday.

“Are you sure there is nothing I can do?” she pushed.

“Yup.”

“Can I just ask one tiny, little question?”

I glared at her. “One. Just one. Don’t ask any more questions after it.”

She pulled away and lifted her hand. “I swear, I won’t.”

“What is it?”

“Did you fall in love with him?”

I ran my hands through my untidy hair. “Yes. I fell in love with him, but we’re from two different worlds. Don’t worry, I don’t regret it or anything, I just truly hope that he’ll be alright.”

She was quiet as I turned back to the microwave and just as I had expected she couldn’t hold back.

“But he didn’t break up with you … his wife was the one who—”

“Please, April. You’re not making it any better. Just leave it, okay. It was a very complicated situation and maybe this is for the best, for everyone concerned.”

She bit her tongue while I plated my pizza.

“I just have one more question,” she said finally.

I frowned at her. Now she was just taking the piss.

“I’m so sorry but this is really the last one. Speaking from experience, powerful men don’t let go of what they want. If he finds you and wants you back, what will you do?”

My heart jumped into my throat. I opened my mouth, but no words would come out.