Torn Apart (Torn and Bound Duet 1)

When I try to stand, my skates slide forward and my back hits the ice.

“Are you okay?” Brayden asks through a laugh.

“Sure,” I groan. “Who needs a working tailbone anyway.”

He crawls over and hovers above me, until our faces are close together. “I’m sorry,” he says, pushing a wayward hair from my face. His eyes drop down to my mouth and I know what’s coming next.

“Mia,” he murmurs. “I want to kiss you.” My heart picks up speed, fluttering against my ribcage like a bird flapping its wings. “Tell me I can kiss you.”

Stupidly, I nod.

“I need the words, Mia. Can’t have Ashton calling me rapey.” His words are meant as a joke, but the mention of Ashton has my stomach churning. I close my eyes briefly to get the thought of him out of my head. I can’t let him be here on this date. He made his decision, and now I have to move on.

“Yes, you can kiss me,” I tell him, opening my eyes.

He grants me the most gorgeous smile and then his mouth is on mine. Softly, his lips curl around my own. My hands find his beanie, and I remove it, so I can thread my fingers through his hair. He deepens the kiss, his tongue gently seeking entrance.

Unlike the passionate kiss I shared with Ashton, this one with Brayden is tender and sweet. Not better or worse, just different.

And then my phone dings with a text message, ending the moment.

“Next date, we’re playing video games,” I tell him once we separate. “Where we’ll be safe and I won’t fall and die.”

Brayden’s lips curve into a cocky smile. “Next date, huh?” he taunts. “We haven’t even finished this one.”

“Whatever.” I roll my eyes. “You know what I mean.”

“Oh, I do,” he says, pulling me onto my feet. “You mean, you’re enjoying this date so much, you’re already planning our next one.”

“Keep telling yourself that.” I pull out my phone to see who texted, and when I see it was Ashton, my heart drops.

Ashy C: We need to talk.

“Everything okay?” Brayden asks, his tone turning serious.

“Yeah, just Ashton.” I push my phone back into my pocket without responding.

Brayden eyes me curiously. “Did he say something that upset you?”

“Nope, just that we need to talk.”

Brayden helps me off the ice and I plop onto the bench, where it’s safe, to rest.

“You and him seem really close,” he says, sitting next to me. He lifts my skate and places it into his lap, then starts undoing the laces.

“Yeah, he’s my best friend.”

“You’re a freshman, right?” he asks. “So, you just met him a few months ago.”

“Yeah, in the beginning of the summer. Some guy was hitting on me and I used Ashton to scare him away.” I laugh, remembering that night. “We hit it off and have been inseparable ever since.” He drops my foot and grabs the other skate. “Speaking of which… What’s up with you and Drew?”

My eyes are on his hands, so I see when they momentarily still. “We were friends, then we weren’t,” he says tightly.

“Oh, c’mon,” I push. “I gave you a deep. Your turn. What happened?”

He drops my now unlaced skate and looks at me. His brown eyes, which moments ago were bright and full of life, are now dark and stormy. “Life,” he says. “Life happened.” The raw emotion that emanates from his tone sends chills up my spine, and I decide not to push him on the subject.

“So, does this date include food?” I ask, changing the subject and hoping to lighten the mood.

“Of course,” he says, his expression softening. “Let’s go grab our shoes and then we can go. Do you like Mexican?”

“Umm, who doesn’t?”I’m gay.

Gay.

Fucking gay.

So why does sending Mia away feel like the dumbest goddamn thing I’ve ever done in my life? She was so brave. Waltzing right into my room, determined to be an adult about it all.

And me?

I panicked.

Froze up.

Was not prepared to be confronted about my feelings.

Truth is, I don’t know what my feelings are. They’re a mess. I love Mia. As a friend. But that kiss? The annoying niggling I feel when I see her talk to Brayden? It pokes at other parts of my heart. I’m jealous as fuck over Brayden. When I’d found out she bailed on Drew to come to me, possessive pride washed over me.

I’m not a dick. Definitely not to her.

Yet the way I’ve been feeling is right there in Brayden dickhead territory. He probably knows all about feeling like a douchebag over a girl. If I didn’t despise the prick, I’d ask him for advice.

Problem is, he’s the problem.

The guy actively pursuing my girl.

She can’t be my girl, though.

I’m. Fucking. Gay.

Am I bi?

Cringing, I can that idea right away. It’s not girls. It’s Mia. Imagining her naked and beneath me does things to me. Excites unknown areas of me. Opens up dark cavities in my heart that I didn’t know existed.