Atone (The Disciples 2)

“But you do.” I jump up. “You know, has it occurred to you that they happen to like riding bikes? God, Mom, just because they have tattoos and wear vests with the name Disciples on it doesn’t mean they’re the Sons of Anarchy.” I use air quotes for the Sons of Anarchy. That’s got to be where my mom is getting this shit. She watches that show all the time and actually believes it.

“You were an actress, you know. That’s all for show. It’s not real life.”

That stops her and her blond hair falls around one shoulder as she puts her hands together like she’s praying. “Sweetheart… you’re so young and naïve. You have your whole life ahead of you. Please, please stay away from David. You think he’s exciting and handsome but—”

“Mom.” I roll my eyes. “He’s got a baby.”

“Yes.” She looks me straight in the eyes. “He has a baby. He has a wife, girlfriend—” Again, I open my mouth, but she stops me. “He’s not for you. Nothing but bad things will follow that one.”

My eyes blur with tears. She’s right and I know it. I sink back into the chair.

“You don’t have anything to worry about.” I glance down at my tennis shoes. “He doesn’t even know I exist,” I whisper.

She snorts and reaches for my chin. “Charlize?” Her cool hands on my hot face almost make me shiver. “Trust me. That man wants you. You need to be with someone who is going to let you shine, not tarnish you.” I blink back the tears and nod. Her expression shows no anger, but there’s a touch of sadness in her eyes.

“I said you have nothing to worry about.” She wipes my wet cheeks with her hand. I didn’t realize I was crying.

“I’m sorry, Charlize. I know you have a crush on him, but it’s my job to protect you.”

I almost laugh. If what she thinks I have is a crush, then she doesn’t have a clue. This guy is it for me. Like I know it deep inside, but I stay quiet and nod and gently push her hand away.

“Okay.” She clears her throat and sighs as if she has the load of the world on her shoulders. Maybe she does. I know she’s worried about my dad.

“I need to make a phone call. Can you check on Jessica?” Rubbing my hands on my jeans, I nod and stand.

“Have you seen or heard from your father?” Annnd there it is—the big white elephant in the room. We look at each other and she shrugs and reaches for her purse, pulling out her sequined makeup bag. One of her lipsticks drops to the carpet and I sigh and lean over to pick it up.

“Not since yesterday, Mom. I went to bed early.” That’s a lie, but I don’t want her to know Daddy didn’t come home until 3:00 a.m. She drank her bottle of chardonnay and passed out in front of the television at ten.

“Uh-huh. Well, I went to the gym in the morning and by the time I got back, he was gone.” She leaves all the unsaid words hanging in the air.

“I’m going to wash my face,” I say over my shoulder. All of a sudden, everything has shifted. My crush on the biker is gone. My mom is lost in her world of thinking about my dad. Their marriage is broken like a heart with a pacemaker—fake but it won’t stop until the battery runs out.

“Good. Remember what I said, my love.” Her voice drifts as she frowns at something on her phone.

Shutting the door, I head to the bathroom hating that she’s right. Instead of kicking the bathroom door, which would be immature, I slam it and assess myself in the long mirror. Great! I’m too skinny and I look like shit. David would never want someone like me. I’ve seen what those guys go for and it’s not me. I look too… sweet.

“Whatever,” I mumble, splashing cold water on my hot face and swollen eyes. I don’t even bother with a paper towel and use the end of my T-shirt. Taking the rubber band from around my wrist, I pull my thick hair up into a messy bun and slather on my red gloss. I should reapply all my makeup, but why bother? The guy I want’s not gonna happen. Swinging open the door, I hear the rumble of their bikes and follow the sound until I’m staring out the window.

“You’re being kind of obvious.” Jessica’s voice makes me turn and look at her.

“Excuse me?”

“You’re like an annoying puppy, Charlie. Guys don’t like clingy girls. Especially not one of the Disciples.” She says Disciples like they are some kind of famous rock band or something.

“If you want to roll around with David, trust me… you need to act like you don’t worship the ground he walks on.” She reaches down and straightens her sock.