Repent (The Disciples 3)

The doctor’s eyes widen and he backs up and looks at his watch.

Fear, it’s like a torturous poison. It can make you become someone you don’t like. Bile rises in my esophagus.

I killed Edge.

The room spins because it can’t be true. I’d feel it. I know I would, right?

Doug takes a step forward. “There’s no one here by that name. Edge is alive, right?” he demands.

Blade’s eyes swing to him as he shoots him a shut-the-fuck-up glare.

There are moments when things happen. We grow and learn from them, or we let them fester. Then eventually, we let them go or they take us down.

I did that. I took Edge down.

Now I want him back. He’s my soul. A small whimper of pain slips out of my mouth.

I need him. It has always been Edge and Dolly. Without him, I’m not me.

I move to stand, but Eve’s nails dig into my hand, a not very subtle warning for me not to confess my sins.

“I’d like to see him.” Blade crosses his arms speaking to the doctor who looks confused as to what he’s supposed to do.

“Are you Dolores?” The cop sneers at Blade and for one second, I almost start laughing, like I’m biting my lip because it’s coming out. Is this man dense?

Has he not heard of the Disciples? But more than that, does he not know who he’s talking to?

Silence fills the waiting room, well, besides the annoying sounds of the hospital. No one speaks in our posse. The poor doctor sighs and pushes his glasses up on his nose.

“I repeat, is there a Dolores Sam—”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. Get out of my face,” Blade snarls as the cop pops open the leather holster holding his gun.

Then everything happens in slow motion. I open my mouth to say No. But instead, I start screaming. And I can’t stop.

Eve throws herself at Blade who holds her behind him. Axel moves in front of Blade and Eve.

I don’t think I move although my eyes are blinking rapidly and I continue to scream. The officer has his hand on his gun but hasn’t pulled it out. His other hand’s in the air as he tries to get control of something he never had control of in the first place.

“I don’t feel good,” I scream, standing up as adrenaline rushes through me. My screams are gone, and the room’s chaos has vanished—along with all who are my family and friends. All I see are black dots.

“I’m dying,” I project as if they are all my audience.

“Dolly? Jesus, someone help her.” Doug’s voice swims in my head.

I’m falling, but everything is okay. It’s almost ironic and very Shakespearian. After all, I killed Edge and here I am dying on the very same day.DOLLY

Six years oldI’m waiting for my mommy to come out of her bedroom and take me to school. I look at the big clock with numbers that say 9 and 3 and 0, but it’s blinking, so I don’t know what that means.

Suddenly, I hear a man cough from the bedroom, and I go get my backpack. Today is special.

The kids who can read the rainbow words get a bubble gum machine and a big gold certificate. I was the first, even before Tommy and he’s a really good reader.

Maybe my daddy’s home and he’s going to take me? I put my unicorn lunchbox in my backpack and slip it on and trudge down the dark hallway. The carpet crunches when I walk. The last door is where my mommy and daddy’s bedroom is.

I stop before knocking—they get mad when I do. So, I drop to my knees and try to look under the door. The carpet stinks and scratches my cheek and I can’t see anything.

Hopping up, I straighten my dress and backpack, which is kind of sideways. I’m not supposed to knock, but I’m pretty sure I usually go to school when the numbers say 7 and 3 and 0.

I tap softly. “Mommy?”

I hear nothing but some more coughing. “Daddy? Are you back?”

My daddy has been gone for a while. He got mad and left. But it sounds like he’s back. I love the dress I picked out today. It’s pink with little yellow dots on it. I put on my socks and my super hard yellow shoes, but I still need a grown-up to tie them.

“Mommy?” I reach for the handle. “I think my teacher is ready for me. Did you forget I get my award this morning?” Slowly I turn the handle and blink at what I see.

My pretty mommy is asleep. It looks like she has no clothes on. I almost start to giggle, until the man rolls over and it’s not Daddy.

“Mommy?” My voice must wake her.

Her brown eyes, which look red, blink at me. At first, she looks confused and I run to her. I keep looking at the strange man with dirty hands and lots of scary tattoos.