Repent (The Disciples 3)

“Fuck,” I hiss. The closest way I can describe this feeling is euphoric. I stay inside her when I should pull out. She’s dangerous for me, but I can’t seem to quit her.

Dolly reaches up to touch my lips and I stare at her. We don’t have to say the words. We don’t have to do anything but be. It swirls around us, the connection we both need.

I’ve gotta break it. It’s clear she’s going to speak and I’m not ready yet. Pulling out bit by bit, I kiss her forehead and reach for my cigarettes. She turns to her side, maybe to see my next move, maybe to get a hold of her own emotions.

We’re connected now. I stand, light up, and gaze at her. Edge and Dolly, neither of us complete without the other. Have I forgiven her?

No.

Has she forgiven me? Fuck no, but she sighs and snuggles in the bed peacefully and I walk to the phone to order room service. I don’t need to ask her what she wants. I know, somehow. I always know.I keep her with me.

Like a fucking junkie, I’ve locked us inside the room. But instead of hoarding and absorbing drugs, I bury myself inside her, letting her saturate my bloodstream.

The afternoon’s descending sun snakes into the room making me turn toward her. We passed out after we fucked all morning. Not once did we talk.

We let our bodies try to get rid of the craving we have for each other. I place a hand over my eyes as I block out the sun and feel her stir. She smells like us and I fucking love my scent on her. I roll onto my back and stare at the white ceiling, but instead of being happy and satisfied, I’m pissed at myself. Now that we’ve fucked all day, I should be done with this sick craving. She needs to go.

“Dolly?” I stand and reach for my cigarettes.

She stretches and blinks her doe eyes at me, which enrages me more. I don’t need a lying bitch in my life.

“Oh God, can you shut the curtains? The sun is right in my face.” She turns her back to me, her naked ass calling my name.

“Get up.” I toss her piece of shit silver dress at her; it lands on her face. Inhaling, I cross my arms as she bolts up.

“What’s wrong? Has something happened?”

“No. I have to check out and we’re done anyway.”

She blinks at me and cocks her head. “What the hell?” She laughs, but it’s bitter and her voice cracks at the end.

I can’t be near her anymore. She’s a weakness. I don’t have weaknesses anymore.

“Look, I wanted to fuck you, and I did. It’s over. Done.”

She tosses off the sheet and stands in front of me in all of her five feet two glory. Her hair wild, cheeks flushed, tits jiggling, and nipples hard. And I want to put my fist through the wall when my dick gets rock hard once again.

“You’re insane.” She grabs her dress from the bed, shaking her head at the wrinkled mess.

“At least we still have that in common.” I look out the balcony.

She starts laughing as in the crazy, I’m-going-to-lose-my-shit way she gets when agitated. And all I can think of is that she’s a liar, a bad person. She let me go to jail and never visited. But the thought of not keeping her makes me turn away in disgust.

“That’s perfect. Go ahead and turn away, Edge. Act like I don’t exist. It’s what you do best.” She pulls her dress on violently, then looks around the room. “I did everything for you my whole fucked-up life.” She points at me. “You have no idea what I’ve been through. All I see is judgment,” she yells, and angry tears form in her bourbon eyes.

“God. You’re such an asshole. You’re the liar and a cheat, not me.” She grabs a red pump and throws it at me. Of course it misses me and hits the silk silver chair. “Why? Why didn’t you once contact me?”

I reach for her and she twists away, but I couldn’t care less and jerk her to my chest. I’m naked, and a small whoosh comes out as she bumps up against my erection.

“What are you babbling about?” Cold dread goes straight to the pit of my stomach.

“I’m not babbling.” She pulls away, her face flushed. My chest aches.

“I’m stating facts. You, Edge. You’re the one who takes and then blames.”

“You’ve got to be kidding!” My head starts to buzz. “I went to jail for you. I would kill for you. And what have you done, Dolly?” I roar at her, causing her to jump but hold her head high.

“Nothing. You let me rot in jail? You let me fuck you without telling me you’re a fucking virgin?” I run my hands through my hair. “Jesus, Dolly. I would have made it so good for you, and you can’t even give me that.”