Ignite (The Disciples 4)

“What’s your deal, Edge? I’m tired. You got something to say, fucking spit it out.”

He takes a deep drag and smiles. “You go get some rest. We can talk tomorrow.” Turning, he walks toward the back of the kitchen.

“Fucking dick.” I get my keys and start my bike. It’s rush hour, so I avoid the freeway. It seems like every idiot in Southern California is on the streets. By the time I pull into the compound, my head is pounding.

A few prospects play pool. The rest of the game room is empty save for Amy sitting on one of the couches with her tea and a romance novel. She looks up from her book then removes her glasses and says, “I’ll send up dinner.”

“Thank you.” Taking the stairs two at a time, I can’t understand this need to be close to her, care for her. But tonight, with everything that’s happened, I’m not even gonna fight my need.

Unlocking my door, I open it to a dark room. I let my eyes adjust. Her pale hair against the pillow is all I can see with the blackout shades drawn.

“Axel?” Her voice is raspy.

I love her like this. I want to slide in and hold her, let her warm, sleepy body make my racing brain rest. Just stop thinking… and lose myself in her.

“Yeah, baby, it’s me. I need a shower.” I stand over her as she turns in the bed and I can’t help but smile at her. She’s sleeping in my Dicks T-shirt.

“You okay?” She reaches for my hand. Her creamy, delicate one holds my tan, tattooed hand. And automatically, I want to tell her the truth.

I don’t want her to go. Somehow Antoinette has become the one person I need. I love coming home to my room knowing she’s waiting or seeing her smile when I pick her up from work on my bike.

We’ve built a life in this room and I don’t want to let it go. I sigh and release her hand.

“I need a shower. Amy’s dropping off some dinner.” I toss my cut in the corner. “Can you give my cut to Amy? She knows how to clean it,” I say as I enter the bathroom. The piece of shit junkie struggled hard at the end. Hence, Charlie needs a new fryer.

“I’ll take care of it,” she says.

I stop.

I’ll take care of it. I don’t know how many times I’ve said it to her. But this is the first time in my life someone has ever said that to me.

I turn on the shower. My muscles ache, my hands and shoulders are on fire, and my head is pounding. I need the water to scorch my neck and back. Turning, I let my front take the sting as I soap up, washing away the filth that was Benny. It’s been a long time since I’ve been around a truly evil person and it’s a rare occurrence. Most of us have a good and a bad side. At different times in our lives, one emotion can rule more than the other.

But Benny… he was absolutely evil. A bad seed.

He should have been dead the day he sold Eve and killed Pauly. He got away and poor Doc and Sandy paid the price. It takes a lot to surprise me. But the confessions he made were so horrendous that I feel contaminated. As if hearing his truth has made me lose my faith in humanity.

Fuck only knows how many bodies we’ll find at his houses. If he’s to be believed, he had many because he traveled all over, stalking, raping, stealing, and killing.

Antoinette was his next prey. He wanted her. I almost punch my tiled wall, but I force myself to breathe in the steam so as to let it go.

Evil.

I put him down, and my only regret is that he lived as long as he did. I turn the faucets off as I step out.

Antoinette.

My radiant obsession. Swinging the door open, I go to find her, needing her more than I’ve needed anything in all my life.

I need her to take it all away, bring me back from this pit of darkness so that I can still believe. Still get up and look at my godson, James Dean, and feel hope for his future. I need her kindness, innocence, her fucking empathy that still shines bright in her eyes.

I need all of her tonight as I walk into the other room. The smell of food barely registers as I watch my princess. Because tonight I’m too raw to lie.

She stands with one leg propped on the counter as she gracefully leans over, hands on top of her head.

Exquisite.

This is the moment that I stop fighting it. Tonight I surrender. I breathe out as she looks at me.

Time stops.