Little Lies

“And now?”

“Now you’re strong enough to hold yourself together, and I’ve realized that’s even better. I’m strong enough not to tear you apart by loving you.”Chapter ThirtyThe Things We Know

Lavender

Present day

I’VE HAD AN embarrassing number of safe-sex conversations since Kodiak and I started officially dating. The worst is when my dad, of all people, asks me if I need him to contact his previous endorsement sponsors about prophylactics.

The best was when Kodiak answered a call from his mom literally two minutes after we’d finished having sex, and she went into a ten-minute lecture on safe sex and how it only takes one time without a condom to get pregnant.

Kodiak assures her we’re being responsible, while I bury my face in my pillow and try not to laugh. But we are being responsible. I’m on the pill, and about 70 percent of the time we use condoms. The other 30 percent we start without one and put one on halfway through so he’ll last longer and it’s less messy.

Last week, Kodiak moved back into his house with the guys. Not that it’s really changed anything. We’re still together a lot. Only now, we can divide our time between his bedroom and mine.

We go out on dates, we study together, we hang out with friends. It’s a grown-up version of how we were when we were kids. The transition from fighting to stay away from each other to falling into a new kind of love all over again feels seamless.

Balance isn’t always easy to find with Kodiak, because when he discovers something he’s passionate about, he immerses himself in it completely. That’s how he is with hockey and school. And now it’s how he is with me. Sometimes we struggle to give each other space, but we manage.

In the back of my head, I often remind myself that he’s graduating this year and there’s a very good chance he’ll be playing for the NHL come the fall. There’s also that internship I applied for, but the chances of me getting it are virtually nonexistent, so I try not to worry.

I scan the library shelves, looking for the book I want, running my fingers over their spines. I love getting lost in books, and while I don’t have a lot of time for recreational reading these days, I’m loving the course list for my psych class and I’m excited for next semester’s contemporary lit course. Right now I’m searching for a textile resource book. It might sound boring to some people but I find it riveting.

My phone keeps vibrating in my pocket. It’s Kodiak. He’s not texting, he’s calling, and he knows better than to think I’ll risk getting caught answering in the middle of the library. It finally stops so I can concentrate again. It’s distracting when he pulls this kind of shit for no other reason than he’s probably bored and wants to talk about sex positions or whatever.

Or when I plan to duct-tape him to his computer chair again. It turns out Kodiak has a bit of a freaky side (to match mine), and he really, really likes being duct-taped to the chair and taunted while I get off on something other than his dick. It’s a little fucked up, but then, so are we.

I find the book—of course it’s on the top shelf—and push up on my tiptoes, reaching as high as I can. I’m about three inches too short. My phone starts buzzing again, and I roll my eyes. “I’m going to do a hell of a lot more than duct-tape you to your damn computer chair when I get home,” I mutter.

An arm winds around my waist, and I suck in a shocked breath as I’m pulled back into a hard body. I breathe in Kodiak’s familiar cologne and shiver when his lips brush my ear. “I hope that’s a promise and a threat,” he whispers.

I try to spin around, but he tightens his hold on my waist and drags his lips along the edge of my jaw. So warm and soft and mine. “What’re you doing here and how did you find me?” I ask.

His other hand skims my hip, smoothing over the fabric of my dress. “I needed to see you, and lucky guess.”

His voice has a slight waver to it. I cover the hand splayed out over my stomach, my body warming under his touch. “Is everything okay?”

“Mmm. I have a biochem test in forty-five minutes.”

“Oh.” Kodiak has a 97 percent in biochem. I’m sure the 3 percent he’s missing is eating at him, but he’ll survive. He could probably take the test blind-drunk, and high and still get a great mark. Besides, he’s ridiculous about studying and requires rewards for meeting every single goal he sets. There are a lot of goals, and consequently a lot of rewards. Sometimes I have to give him IOUs for those when they interfere with my schedule.