Little Lies

River manages to patch things up with Josiah, and he even starts inviting him over, but he has yet to say anything to our parents. He wants to, but he says he’s trying to figure out how to do it. As confident as I am that they’ll support him, I know he needs to do it in his own time.

The parties from the beginning of the year dwindle to almost nothing. Everyone’s focus is shifting to studies, especially after Maverick barely managed to eke out a passing grade in two of the classes he typically excels at.

This also prompts a visit from my parents, during which my mom takes me and River out for lunch while my dad lectures Maverick on being responsible and not putting his dick before his studies. Actually it’s my mom who makes the “study before sex” comment prior to ushering us out the door. She’s never been one to sugarcoat things, except when she’s dealing with me. I try to persuade River that now would be a good time to say something about Josiah, but he says he doesn’t want to invite a different kind of safe sex and responsibility talk. The timing seems pretty opportune to me, but I don’t push, so Mom sticks with her general “work first, party later” conversation during lunch.

I will say that’s one thing Kodiak takes very seriously. Sex is always a reward for hours put into homework and studying. A very frequent reward. Despite his genius status, Kodiak spends an inordinate amount of time reviewing notes, always aiming for perfection. I don’t envy him in that regard. It would be difficult to constantly strive for the impossible.

A few weeks into the winter term, my costume design professor asks if I’d like to help out with the winter production. Despite how busy my schedule is, there’s no way I’m going to pass up the opportunity.

I also take on a very part-time job at the library. It’s not that I need the extra cash. If I ask my parents, they will most definitely put money into my account, but I like the independence and the peacefulness that comes from being surrounded by books. I like that here, in college, I can shed the shy, tongue-tied girl of my youth, escape the past that defined me, and be a more confident, competent, less anxious version of myself. It’s not easy, but it’s empowering, and I feel like I’m finally coming into my own.

The job basically fell in my lap. I’d gone to the library to study between classes and noticed someone had left a stack of books on a table. Half an hour later, they were still there, so I took it upon myself to shelve them. Another student mistook me for someone who worked there and asked where she could find a book on biochemical engineering, so I showed her. It just so happened that the woman in charge of hiring watched it all happen and asked if I’d like a job. I said yes.

It’s a Friday evening, and Kodiak has an away game. This means he won’t be home until late tonight, which is good because I need time to work on one of the costume pieces for the upcoming production. The girl who’s playing the lead has been stress eating, and last night she had a huge meltdown because her costume is too tight.

I took the blame and told her I must have miscalculated the seam allowance—I didn’t—and could most certainly fix the problem. So that’s what I’m doing.

It’s closing in on ten when Professor Martin pokes her head in.

I pop out my earbuds. “I’m nearly done with the alterations.”

She checks over her shoulder before she says, “You are a godsend for doing this.”

I wave the comment away. “Can’t have the star of the show feeling uncomfortable or it’ll affect the entire performance.” Besides, I like her. She has great respect for those of us who like to stay behind the scenes, and she’s always been nice to me.

She nods her agreement. “I have some news for you.”

I can’t read her expression. “Oh?”

“It’s about the internship we discussed.”

“The long shot for the off Broadway company? I never expected to get it since I’m a sophomore, but I love that you asked me to apply.”

I mean that. Professor Martin has never coddled me. She’s unaware that I’ve spent the majority of my life overprotected and sometimes over-loved by my family. It’s nice to have someone assume I’m capable and competent. And now I truly feel that way.

She smiles slightly. “What if I told you they want you for the internship?”

It takes me several long moments to digest that news. “Seriously?”

Her grin widens. “Most seriously, Lavender.”

“Oh, wow.” I sink back into my chair and exhale a long, slow breath. Within seconds, my mind becomes cluttered with too many thoughts. What if I’m not good enough? Where will I live? How am I going to manage the city on my own? Will I have to take the subway? What will my parents say? What about Kodiak? “This is kind of a big deal, isn’t it?”