Jaded and Tyed

Stop.

She was so animated—captivating. The light in her eyes was practically blinding. Jade was totally driving the conversation she was having with some friends who’d just arrived. This girl likely owned any room she was ever in.

At one point, she glanced over and noticed me watching her. My instinct was to look away, but I didn’t. I brazenly kept my eyes on hers; I selfishly wanted those five seconds. Because I knew it was basically all we could ever have. It didn’t mean anything. What I was feeling for her was just some unexplained, instant primal attraction.

She lived in New York anyway. Not to mention, I was in a committed relationship. And even if those two things didn’t exist, I knew I could never trust myself with Chelsea’s sister. I would inevitably fuck up. She was family. I needed to treat her like I would treat any family member. That meant not fucking with them.

Or, well…not fucking them. Period.

I made it through the rest of that evening without making an ass of myself.

Over the next year, Jade and I wouldn’t cross paths again—until one night when a surprise notification lit up my computer screen.JADEI was done.

Completely done with him.

As if my life hadn’t been stressful enough lately, I found out that unbeknownst to me, I’d been dating a married man. Not only that, I couldn’t just cut ties with him, because we were costars. I’d have to continue to face him day in and day out.

Jeremy had sworn that he and Karen were divorcing, that he’d moved out of their apartment. I truly believed him. Then again, he’s an actor, right? So, maybe I should’ve known better.

Well, tonight, Karen decided to show up after our evening performance to surprise him for their anniversary. Apparently, everyone but me knew they were really still together.

What a disaster.

I couldn’t bear to talk to anyone tonight, not even Chelsea, because then I would have had to talk about it. Drowning it all out sounded a heck of a lot better than rehashing everything.

I poured myself a rum and Coke and sat on the couch just staring into space for a while.

After an hour or so, I finally calmed down a bit and opened my laptop. I knew exactly where I was headed first. It was like a compulsion that had to be satisfied every time I went on social media.

Stalking Tyler Hennessey’s Facebook page was my guilty pleasure.

Ever since that odd exchange between us last Christmas, I couldn’t get my brother-in-law, Damien’s, super hot, younger brother out of my mind. I couldn’t even really admit my slight obsession to Chelsea because a.) Tyler had a girlfriend, and b.) What was the point anyway? We lived on different coasts, and honestly it was better off if we didn’t mess with each other, since our siblings were married. Things would be really awkward if it didn’t work out. And it wouldn’t work out…because we were both actors. I couldn’t think of a worse combination for a relationship: two actors. Case in point, what just happened between Jeremy and me. Actors couldn’t be trusted. For the most part, they were egotistical and very good manipulators.

But knowing all of that didn’t stop me from wanting a window into Tyler’s world. I didn’t understand it, but looking at him made me feel good. Sadly, it was his girlfriend, Nicole, who posted most of the pictures. She would tag him, and since his profile was set to public, I could see everything, even though we weren’t technically “friends.”

For some reason, Tyler intrigued me. Maybe it was his adventurous spirit. There were pictures of him and Nicole ziplining in Costa Rica. He was also really sweet with our nephew. Nicole posted a picture of him the other day where he had Little Damien on his shoulders. It made me sad because I didn’t get to see my godson whenever I wanted. Tyler had the liberty to just pop over to Chelsea and Damien’s house in minutes. I envied that because I missed my family so much. I also particularly liked that photo because with Tyler’s hands over his head, you could see his rock-solid abs peeking from under his shirt and the very top of his underwear. God, that was hot. With his dark hair, light eyes, and tanned skin, he was a beautiful man.

I had every photo of Tyler etched into memory, often going back to my absolute favorites and examining the details.

Can you see why I couldn’t exactly admit my obsession to anyone? It was my dirty little secret. The fact that no one knew also helped convince me that it was harmless.

Tonight, I noticed that he’d posted a status about getting the lead role in a new show at the Bay Repertory. He added a new photo of himself and the director. His hair was a getting a little longer. I zoomed in on the photo to get a better look at his blue eyes and beautiful jawline. Tyler had also changed the banner at the top of the page to a promo graphic for the show. When I went to click on the picture to make it bigger, I accidentally hit “Add Friend.”