The Day He Came Back

My brother’s insistence that I talk to Raven once again came to mind. Weldon wasn’t generally the wisest person, but what he’d said to me had really stuck.

I drove around some more and ended up passing the jiu-jitsu studio. I remembered she’d told me she taught there on her day off. I had no clue what time her class was, but I pulled into the lot. If I saw her in there, I wasn’t going to disrupt or anything—just watch.

The entire front of the studio was glass, so you could see inside. My heart skipped a beat at the sight of Raven in her black uniform. She had always been in her element here, but something about witnessing her at the helm was really powerful. She’d come such a long way. I watched as she paced while she spoke in front of a line of teenagers dressed in white kimonos.

My heart felt ready to explode from my chest. But I had to see these feelings for what they were, didn’t I? An inexplicable infatuation. Had I truly loved this girl at one time? I thought so. But after all these years and the way things ended, that wasn’t what I was feeling now. It couldn’t be. You know how when people lose a limb, they say they can sometimes still feel it, even though it isn’t there? That happens with a broken heart, too. Sometimes you can still feel the love you had for someone inside your heart, even after they shattered it.

I kept telling myself to leave, but I couldn’t break away from watching her. Now she was on the ground, holding someone down as she described her technique.

When the class ended, the students dispersed, and Raven disappeared behind a desk.

Several minutes later, I was still standing outside. She was alone now.

I should leave.

Despite my brain’s recommendation, I opened the door to the studio. A bell dinged as I entered.

Raven looked up from her paperwork and seemed stunned to see me.

I placed my hands in my pockets. “Hey.”

“Hi. Uh…what are you doing here?”

“Would you believe me if I said I just happened to be in the neighborhood?”

She licked her lips nervously. “Probably not.”

“Good. I won’t feed you that line of bullshit, then.”

“Seriously, what are you doing here?”

“I don’t know.” I took a few steps toward her. “I wanted to clear my head, so I took a drive and ended up at the old improv club. Saw it all boarded up.”

She nodded sympathetically.

“I didn’t plan to come here, but I passed by on the way home. So I stopped and peeked inside, and here you were. Then I couldn’t look away—so I stayed and watched the class for a while.”

“I can’t believe I didn’t notice you.”

“Well, you were busy.”

“You watched the whole thing?”

“A good chunk of it. You’re as amazing as ever.”

A light sheen of sweat gleamed on her forehead. For some reason, that reminded me of being sweaty in my bed with her after having sex for the first time. I couldn’t help where my mind went.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you’ve been avoiding me over the past several days.” I smiled. “Could be my imagination, but…”

“I have been,” she admitted.

“I know.” A moment of silence passed. “Here’s the thing. I’m leaving in a couple of days. There are some questions and feelings I can’t seem to shake. I thought they were dead. But they’re not. I’m going back to England, and I’m getting married. So don’t worry, I’m not insinuating anything in saying this. I just feel like we need to talk before I leave. That’s all.”

She looked like she was on the verge of tears, and I wondered which part of what I’d just said had caused it. Did being around me upset her that much?

“Can we maybe go get a bite to eat?” I suggested. “I’ll drive you back here to get your car after.”

“I actually walked here. Old habit. And I like the exercise.”

“Ah, okay. Well, I can drive you home after we’re done.”

She thought for a moment before she nodded. “Let me grab my things.”

When she came back, she followed me outside. I opened the passenger door for her and got in on the other side. Having her in my car like this, just the two of us, felt surreal.

“Anywhere in particular you’d like to go?” I asked.

“Well, Steak ‘n Shake is still here. I know how much you used to like it.”

“Finally, something that’s still standing. Wanna hit it?”

“Sure.” She smiled.

We ended up eating inside the restaurant, each ordering a steakburger and fries. Then we took our shakes to go.

We sat in the car, sipping in silence for a while. I didn’t want to start the engine, because I hadn’t gotten anything off my chest yet, and I wasn’t sure where to go.