Love Online
What if I went to Utah and that restaurant wasn’t even her place of employment? Then what? Maybe she’d just visited there once. Jesus, what if her name wasn’t really Eden? I had nothing to go on but a damn first name that might or might not have been real.
I paced in my bedroom, practically ripping the hair out of my head. A scream of frustration escaped me. It was a sound I didn’t recognize.
A few seconds later, I heard footsteps.
“Mijo, is everything okay?”
Apparently, Lorena had heard my roar. She always arrived at the ass crack of dawn and had come storming up the stairs with a broom in her hand.
“Come in,” I said.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, opening the door.
Lorena was going to think I was fucking nuts. But that had never stopped me from unloading on her before. She was a straight shooter. In many ways, I needed her frank advice more than ever in this moment, because I was seriously considering jumping on a plane right now.
“I need to ask you something. And I need you to take it seriously, even though it involves something you have very strong preconceived notions about.”
Her eyes widened. “Did you take drugs?”
I shook my head. “No. It has to do with the webcam girl I told you about before.”
“The nudie model?”
I hated that she called her that. “Yes.”
“Did you get her pregnant?”
“Uh…that’s physically impossible. We’ve never met in person.”
“That’s true. What happened?”
“She’s missing.”
“Missing? How can she be missing if she’s never here?”
“She still exists.”
“Yeah. But you know what I mean. She’s not with you. So how do you know she’s missing?”
“She didn’t show up last night for our chat, and I feel like something’s wrong. That’s the first time something like that has ever happened.”
“Maybe she just needed a break from showing her tetas for one night.”
I rolled my eyes. “Our relationship has evolved to much more than showing her tetas. It was never about that with us. I told you that. I can’t even begin to explain it to you, Lorena. I know how nuts this all seems, but…a lot has happened in a short amount of time with her. I feel like I know her.” My voice cracked. “Something isn’t right.”
She finally seemed to be getting that I was dead fucking serious because the expression on her face changed. There was no longer a hint of amusement. “Okay…” She leaned her broom against the wall and took a seat on my bed.
I let out a deep breath, relieved that she was taking me seriously. “We’ve chatted almost every night for weeks. She’s cried in front of me. We’ve gotten to know each other very well, even if we’ve kept certain information private. We’ve gotten close—shared a lot of intimate things. And it’s not like her to do something like this, to just not contact me. I’m worried sick that something bad happened to her.”
“You don’t know where she lives?”
I sighed. “No, I don’t. But here’s the thing, I accidentally figured out the place she might work. She told me she waitresses during the day. The name of this restaurant was on one of her T-shirts once. It’s all I have to go on. I could go there and try to find her. But she might get freaked out, and then I could—”
She finished my sentence. “Lose her? You don’t even have her.”
That realization was eye opening. “That’s true.”
Lorena crossed her arms. “So, what are you asking me? If I think you should go?”
“Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m asking.”
“Are you gonna be able to sleep at night if you don’t?”
I thought about it for a split second. “No.”
“Then you don’t need me to tell you what to do.”
Shit.
A part of me had been hoping she would knock some sense into me.
Am I really doing this?
“I’m about to get on a plane to Utah, and I don’t even know if she’s there.”
She scratched her chin. “Utah. Hmm…”
My brow furrowed. “Yeah. Utah. Why? What are you thinking?”
“Maybe she’s a polygamist.”
“What?”
“Have you ever watched Big Love? Sister Wives? There are a lot of polygamists in Utah. Maybe that’s why she won’t tell you who she is. Maybe she’s married with sister wives. And doing this in secret.”
That sounded ludicrous to me. “Oh, okay. I didn’t realize everyone who lived in Utah was automatically a polygamist.” I pulled my hair and shouted, “She’s not a polygamist!”
At least, not that I know of.
Jesus. How would I even know?
She said she wasn’t married.
God, what the fuck do I REALLY know? Nothing!
“Tell me the truth. Am I acting fucking crazy, Lorena?”
“No, mijo. You’re love sick. Maybe obsessed—I don’t know. And even though I don’t approve of this whole situation, I can see how upset you are. It’s the same look you had when that Mallory broke up with you. I haven’t seen it since. You won’t rest until you know. So, go and get your answer so you can move on with your life.”