Love Online

I let out a long breath and thought about how to best explain it. “Adult relationships are complicated, Ollie. I’m sure Ethan didn’t mean to break his promise to you. But maybe it was hard for him to see you without having to see your sister. When adults break up, things can be weird between them. Sometimes, it might make them sad to see the other person again, so while he probably wants to see you, it’s just too difficult with having to see Eden, too.”

Despite my words, I didn’t believe this Ethan guy had any excuse for blowing Ollie off. He could have come back to see Ollie if he wanted to. He could’ve grown a sack and sucked it up for the poor kid’s sake. He could have found another way to keep in touch.

“Are you gonna break up with Eden?”

I wanted to assure him that wouldn’t happen, but Eden and I were not even technically together, and things were most definitely complicated—fully up in the air at this point. Honesty was going to be the best policy.

“I don’t know what the future holds for your sister and me. Everything is still kind of new. But I can tell you I really care about her—a lot. And I know I’ve only known you for a few days, but I care about you, too.”

After the words exited my mouth, I wondered whether I should have said them. But they were the truth.

“I care about you, too, Ryder.”

I smiled. “Thank you, buddy. I can’t predict what’s gonna happen. But I can choose to be honest with you always. I promise never to lie to you or tell you one thing and do another. And I can promise you this: you and I can always be friends, no matter what. I’m gonna give you my email and my phone number. You call me or write me whenever you want, okay?”

“Really?”

Be careful, Ryder.

“Yeah. Of course. No reason we can’t keep in touch.”

“Cool.”

He was quiet for a while, but he was still fidgety. I started to move my lips, making my famous cricket sound.

Cricket.

Cricket.

Cricket.

Ollie jumped. “What’s that?”

Trying not to laugh, I stopped just long enough to say, “I don’t know,” then kept going.

He sat up. “Sounds like there’s a cricket in my room.”

“It does.”

“It stops every time you talk, though.”

“It must not like my voice.”

Cricket.

Cricket.

Cricket.

“How are you doing that, Ryder?”

It seemed I couldn’t pull one over on him. Eden had been able to see my lips when I tried it on her, and it still took her longer to figure it out than Ollie.

“Who says I’m doing it?”

“Duh. It’s obvious. But it’s really good.”

I laughed. “Thanks, man.”

“You should try it on Eden. I bet she’ll believe it.”

“Already got her, dude.”

He giggled. “Good.”

We lay in silence for a bit. Then Ollie placed his hand on my chest, over my heart. It might have been a small gesture, but it felt significant. He was putting his trust in me.

I hoped I deserved it.CHAPTER FIFTEEN* * *RYDERUtah seemed like a dream now.

I’d hopped the latest possible flight back to L.A. on Sunday evening so I could spend as much time with them as possible.

Saying goodbye to Eden was hard as all hell, but I kept telling myself I’d return to St. George the next opportunity I had.

That Sunday night, it felt strange being back in my big, empty house—in my big, empty bed.

I longed for her even more now that I’d been in her presence. Eden and I never got a chance to explore anything sexually, and a part of me knew we were better off having waited, but I was dying inside, feeling like we had unfinished business I could hardly wait to get to.

But then that voice inside my head told me to hold my horses, reminding me that Eden had made her concerns clear. She didn’t want to get involved with someone who would bail on her later. I still had a lot of thinking to do, so in many ways, it was a good thing I was back in L.A. for a while to clear my head.

Still, the six days I’d spent with them had changed me. Anytime I looked at something interesting, I’d think about the fact that Ollie couldn’t see it. What once seemed like a necessity—sight—was actually a luxury. All of the superficial things we judge by looking at them were null and void in Ollie’s world. I found myself closing my eyes just to listen to the sounds around me, appreciating them so much more.***Early Monday morning, I braced myself to face Lorena. I’d texted her from Utah to let her know everything was okay, that I’d found Eden alive and well. Since she was the only person who knew the true nature of my trip, I felt like I at least owed her that. I hadn’t given her any details, though. It was just too much to get into, so I’d decided to tell her in person when I got back.