Love Online
I felt like I could finally exhale. Looking up at the ceiling, I said a silent prayer to my mother, thanking her in case she had something to do with this.
Thank you.
“I can’t believe you were AssLover all along. I can’t even be mad at you for that.”
“I had a lot of fun with it.”
“Oh, I know. I was there!”***We’d decided we weren’t going to say anything to Ollie about Ryder’s upcoming visit. This one was going to be particularly epic because Ryder and I planned to tell Ollie about our commitment to each other.
Ollie and I were hanging around the house after dinner. I knew Ryder was set to arrive any minute, so I was feeling very antsy.
At one point, I noticed Ollie carrying a large pile of towels into the laundry room. Had he been hoarding towels? That was odd. He never took care of his own laundry. While perplexing, it made me happy to think he was taking some initiative around the house.
My heart jumped for joy when Ryder texted me that he was outside.
Ollie had returned to his room, so I quietly opened the front door and leapt into Ryder’s arms.
His kiss felt warmer, more intense than ever, and I knew that was because for the first time I was tasting the man I knew truly belonged to me.
“How was your flight?” I whispered.
“Too long. I couldn’t wait to get here.” He looked beyond my shoulder. “Where’s Ollie?”
“In his room.”
When he arrived at Ollie’s bedroom door, Ryder started to make his cricket sound.
Ollie jumped. “No way!”
“Hey, buddy.” Ryder embraced him.
“You didn’t tell me you were coming!”
“That was the whole point—to surprise you.”
It warmed my heart to see the look on Ollie’s face as they hugged. He was so at peace whenever Ryder was around.
“How long can you stay?”
“How long do you want me to stay?” Ryder asked.
“Is that a trick question?”
He laughed. “What if it wasn’t?”
“What do you mean?”
“If it wasn’t a trick question, how would you answer it? If you could choose, how long would I stay?”
Without hesitation, Ollie answered, “I would say forever.”
“Well, I’m gonna stay longer than I normally do this time. And I’m gonna figure out a way to be with you guys more, and I don’t have any plans to stop coming back. So that sounds kind of like forever to me.”
“Are you serious?”
“Dead serious. I love your sister very much. And I love you, too. I want you to know that.”
Ollie’s eyes opened, something he only did when he was either stressed or really excited. It made me want to cry.
“You really mean that?” he asked.
Before Ryder, my brother had only known the men in his life to disappear. It meant so much to me that Ryder would be setting a different example.
Ryder placed his hand on Ollie’s shoulder. “If there’s one thing you know about me by now, I hope it’s that I don’t say things I don’t mean.”
Ollie nodded. “Yeah.”
“You know, Ollie, people who can see are sometimes able to look into each other’s eyes and tell when someone’s being sincere. I know you can’t do that, but I can show you something else.” Ryder took Ollie’s hand and placed it over his heart. “Feel that?”
“Your heart. It’s beating really fast.”
“It’s beating like this because I’ve been wanting to say these things for a long time, but I was scared to. I was so nervous to admit that to you—not because I’m unsure, but because I was afraid you wouldn’t believe me. I’m in this for the long haul, if you want me to be.”
“Yeah, I do.” Ollie reached for him. “I love you, too, Ryder. Like, more than anything—besides Eden.”
They embraced, and Ryder shut his eyes tightly as if to soak in those words.
“You love me more than Gilbert Gottfried?”
Ollie pretended to have to think about it. “Yeah, I think so.”
“I’ll accept that one-percent doubt.”
After they broke their hug, Ollie asked, “Does this mean you’re moving here?”
“I can’t move completely yet, because I still have a lot to figure out at work. But I’m gonna try to come every weekend, if that’s cool with you.”
“If we lived in California, you wouldn’t have to do that.”
“I know, but your school is here, and that’s the most important thing.”
Ollie shrugged. “Says who?”
“Your sister. And you feel that way, too, right?”
Surprised at Ollie’s question, I addressed him, “You used to say you’d never want to move from St. George.”
“That was before Ryder. I love my school, but if I had to choose between the two, I’d rather have Ryder around every day. It’s not even a contest.”
Wow. I guess I underestimated his feelings.
“There are a lot of considerations,” I said. “You know this house inside out, and if we moved, you’d have to get used to an entirely new layout. We’d have to find a school that was a good fit for you. That takes time.”