Gentleman Nine

“How’s Channing?” she asked as she opened her lunch bag.

I couldn’t actually tell her the truth.

Well, Annabelle, I’ve masturbated to thoughts of him every night since his arrival. It’s a problem.

“He’s great, actually. I’m really enjoying his company.”

Well, that was the truth, too.

She bobbed her head to the side as she looked at me. “You seem like you have something on your mind.”

I have a lot of things on my mind, and most of them are not safe for work.

“Well…it’s nothing…it’s just…”

“What?”

I thought up an analogy to explain what I was feeling.

“You know how when you’re on a diet…as long as you don’t bring bad stuff into the house, you’re fine, but as soon as someone brings over that box of cupcakes, all of your willpower is gone? That’s sort of what having an attractive man around does to the celibate woman. Being around Channing is making me realize how badly I need to get laid.”

Annabelle was laughing at me. “The solution seems simple to me.”

She just couldn’t seem to get it into her thick head that I refused to go there with Channing. Just because two people are single doesn’t mean they’re a good fit.

“I don’t know how many times I can explain it to you. I could never be with him in that way.”

She examined my face then said, “I worry that the real reason you’re afraid to consider that is because of Rory.”

The R word immediately triggered my defenses. “What about Rory?”

“A part of you thinks that Rory and you are going to get back together, and you know that sleeping with Channing would ruin that because Rory would never be able to accept it. Am I right?”

God. Maybe. Maybe, that was at the back of my mind.

“I don’t know. Maybe, subconsciously. There is no doubt that Rory would never get over it if something happened with Channing and me. That’s for sure. But first of all, even if I didn’t care about the repercussions of sleeping with Channing, I don’t think he looks at me in a sexual way. He never did. He sees me like a sister.”

“How can you be so sure of that?”

“I can’t entirely…but he could have almost any woman he wants. Well, everyone but some chick named Emily. So, it’s a safe assumption.”

“Emily?”

“Some girl he was telling me about that led him on then went back to her old boyfriend. I bet she’s out of this world gorgeous.”

He’d surprised me with that story. Emily must have really been something for Channing to want to consider settling down. That whole thing made me a little sad for him. I was jealous of Emily and kind of wanted to kick her ass for hurting my friend at the same time.

Her mouth was full when she said, “Have you looked in the mirror lately?”

“Yes, and I need to get my eyebrows threaded. Badly.”

“You’re selling yourself short. I’d kill for your body. Don’t let it go to waste. You’re only young once. We got to get you back in the game.”

Annabelle would often compliment me. With her frizzy, black hair, prominent nose, and stalky body, we were opposites physically.

“My problem is…I’m not ready for a relationship. But at the same time, I don’t want to just hook up with someone, either. There’s really no in-between. You know what I wish?” I looked around to make sure we were still alone. “I wish I had like a superpower where I could have sex with a man and erase the whole experience after, so that there was no aftermath or guilt. I would never run into him again. In fact, he would stop existing after that. But that’s just a fantasy.”

“Uh…no, it’s not. That’s called a one-night stand.”

“Well, you’d have to actually go out or online date to have a one-night stand. That sounds really daunting to me right now. I’m not ready for either one of those things.”

“You just want to get laid by the magically disappearing cock.”

I couldn’t help but laugh when I said, “You need to lower your voice.”

Annabelle squinted her eyes. She was giving me a weird look, making me think she was cooking up something in her brain.

“What do you have up your sleeve?” I asked.

“Who says you can’t have what you want?”

“What do you mean?”

“When you just told me about your little superpower fantasy, you reminded me of something.”

“What?”

“Okay, you know my cousin Shae, the single attorney who lives in Wellesley?”

“Yeah. You’ve mentioned her.”

“Well…the last time I saw her was at my sister’s wedding. She had a little too much to drink and began to open up to me at the reception.” Annabelle lowered her voice. “She told me that she went to see a male escort.”

Looking behind my shoulder, I whispered, “You mean a prostitute…”

“Technically, yes. But she said this guy was amazing both physically and personality-wise. She said it was one of the most enjoyable nights she’s ever had.”