Gentleman Nine

“I don’t believe that you have changed. I think Amber was a revenge fuck for you.”

Now, he was going below the belt.

“You’re really looking to get decked, aren’t you?” I unintentionally spit at him when I said, “Don’t you ever utter those words again unless you want your face rearranged.”

“So, then, tell me why. How was it that you ended up with Amber as soon as we’d broken up? Out of all of the women in the world you could’ve been with, you ended up with my girl?”

“I was there for her because you dicked her over, jackass—or so we thought. No one knew your real reason for leaving her at the time. She was shattered. You’d broken her heart. That was all I knew. Amber and I never stopped being friends even when you guys were together—you know that. Why should it surprise you that I was there for her when you crushed her?”

“‘There for her’ equals fucking her? Isn’t that taking advantage of a vulnerable person?”

“Again, I don’t owe you any explanations…but it wasn’t my intention to fall in love with her. Believe me, I tried as hard as I could not to.”

“Well, you should’ve fought harder.”

I leaned in and took pleasure in saying, “Best thing I ever did was to give up the fight.”

He gritted his teeth. “So, that’s it? You think you can just appear out of nowhere and steal her from me when she and I have nine years of history together?”

“Out of nowhere? I think there’s a little more to the story than that. Do I need to remind you that you stole her from under me? You knew she was interested in me before I left for UF. Yeah…she told me. You warned her against me.”

“She was innocent. You were not a good fit for her. It was the right thing to do at the time.”

“Of course, it was the right thing—for you. It was all part of your plan.”

“So, fucking sue me for wanting her so much that I was willing to sacrifice our friendship for it. That was how much she meant to me. I couldn’t help that I fell in love with her.”

“Well, I can’t help that I’m in love with her now. You threw away what you had because of a bad decision you made. You chose not to be up front with her. You ended it and left her completely devastated. I picked up the pieces, and you know what? I don’t want to give them back. I love every single broken piece of her. And I can’t feel guilty about that, even though I’m really sorry about what happened to you after the accident.”

Rory rolled his eyes. “I bet you are.”

Shit.

He couldn’t have been more wrong. I took a moment to step back and gather my thoughts.

“Is that what you think? What kind of a person do you think I am? You think what happened to you makes me happy?” An unexpected flurry of emotion came over me in that moment when I noticed the true sadness and regret in his eyes. “I’m fucking devastated for you. You were my best friend at one time. I would never wish that on you. Never.”

We stood in silence just staring at each other, seeming to calm down with each second that passed.

“Yeah, well…” He kicked some dirt. “I still think she’d be better off without me. I just don’t know how to stop loving her.”

“You and me both.”

We continued to stand face to face.

“I guess, in a lot of ways, we’re right back where we started,” he said. “We both want her, and we both can’t have her.” Rory paused, looking up at the sky and then back at me. “I know you probably think I didn’t care about what I did when I broke the pact we made all those years ago, but I felt like a piece of shit for doing that to you. Not that it’s any consolation now.”

“As much as you did me dirty, I honestly can’t say I wouldn’t have done the same thing if it were you who went away and if she’d expressed an interest in me. So, I can’t hold you to a standard that I couldn’t uphold when it comes to myself. I actually forgave you in my head a long time ago.”

“So, if you forgive me, why did you look like you wanted to kill me earlier?”

“That was because of your second-guessing my current intentions. Maybe this would be easier for you to accept if you thought all she was to me was a revenge fuck. But I think at this point, we just need to understand that the one thing we do agree on is that we both want what’s best for Amber, and we both want her to be happy. None of us chose the situation we’re in now. It just happened. And ultimately, it’s Amber who decides whom she wants to spend her life with. If she chooses you, I’m not gonna interfere. And I expect the same from you.”