Drunk Dial

I sighed. “Stop turning me on again, Landon. It’s not fair.” Massaging my own breasts, I felt physically pained. “This is hard being so far away from you.”

“We need to make plans. I don’t know how much longer I can go without seeing you again. I want to come to Michigan. I can visit my parents too while I’m out there.”

The thought of him coming here made me so happy and scared at the same time. For this to really work, there couldn’t be any more secrets between us. I wanted a life with this man, and he deserved the same openness that he’d extended toward me.

I need to tell you, Landon.

I want to tell you so badly.

I WILL tell you.

Just not tonight; I don’t want to ruin this.TAKE ME TO YOUR ROOMSometimes I would wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, worried that something had happened to Landon.

I didn’t know if it was some kind of post-traumatic stress from the skateboarding accident experience or what.

Maybe this was just the norm when you loved someone, when the love was new, and perhaps, when you felt undeserving. So, you worried that the universe would somehow take it all away from you.

Of course, Landon and I hadn’t told each other we loved each other in so many words yet. I wasn’t sure if that mattered, because when it came to him, I definitely felt the love. The formality never seemed significant.

Still, I had my moments of paranoia and one particular night, it was at full force. Landon hadn’t answered my last few texts that day, and I had to go to work carrying the weight of my worry on my shoulders.

I will never forget that night. Dancing and trying to put on a happy face is not easy when you’re consumed with worry. At the same time, the fear permeating me had forced me to connect even more deeply than usual to the music. All I could allow myself to focus on was the rhythm. If I started to ruminate and overthink things, I wouldn’t have been able to get through the routines.

By the time I got home, I knew it was going to be a sleepless night if Landon didn’t call me back.

Finally, shortly after midnight, my phone chimed. I jumped up to read it.Landon: I’m sorry, baby. My phone wasn’t receiving texts.Typing faster than I could think, I wrote back.Rana: You had me worried. It’s not like you not to respond. I thought maybe you got hurt again or something.Landon: I didn’t see your message until now.Rana: Your phone is broken?Landon: Fuck…I don’t know how to lie to you.Rana: What? Why do you have to lie to me?Landon: Because if I tell the truth, I’d have to admit that my phone wasn’t working because I was on a plane. And if I admit that I was on a plane then I have to admit that I caved and did something I promised you I would never do, which is to show up unannounced at your door.My heartbeat accelerated, and the butterflies in my stomach came alive all at once as I flew out of bed and raced to my door.

Landon’s backpack dropped to the ground before he took me in his arms. It always surprised me how easily I could cry when it came to him. I almost never cried about anything before the past several months. But being in his arms again now, knowing that he’d come all this way, definitely brought out the waterworks.

He spoke into my neck, “I had to see you.”

Wrapping my arms around him, I treasured the warmth of his body and the sandalwood scent of his cologne.

He’s really here.

“I was so worried.”

I raked my fingers along the back of his head before sliding my hands down his back. I’d forgotten how amazing the contours of his muscular body felt. Maybe touching him felt even more amazing this time because there was no part of me holding back anymore, and I was now truly allowing every sensation in that touching him ignited. I could also feel a difference in him, in the way he was holding me. The resistance that existed back in California was no longer. He was allowing himself to fully surrender to the physical attraction between us.

The second he pulled back from our embrace, he wasted no time lowering his lips to mine, his tongue sliding into my mouth with a desperate need to taste. The familiar, sugary flavor of his breath became the only oxygen I needed. I was completely addicted to it.

His hands were all over me as the kissing intensified. He squeezed my ass, and I could feel my arousal pooling between my legs as my body readied for what it knew damn well was coming.