Drunk Dial

Refusing to look me in the eyes, she continued to just stare out at the crowds below. The Ferris wheel went up and down for three full cycles before she suddenly whipped her head toward me. “I thought you were my friend. You lied to me.”

It hurt so much to hear her say that.

“I didn’t mean to lie to you. I just couldn’t tell you yet. We weren’t sure if you were ready to know.”

Finally, a tear fell from her eye. “I don’t understand. I don’t understand any of this.”

My voice grew louder. “I know you don’t. I have to explain it to you, Lilith. You need to let me.”

It was an inopportune time for the ride to stop. I needed more time alone up there with her. It felt like I needed forever.

Lilith couldn’t get out of the seat fast enough. The next thing I knew, she was running toward Landon.

I ran after her.

Landon took one look at my face and knew.

“Take me home,” she said to him. “I need my mom.”

Fear filled his eyes.

I mouthed, “She knows.”

Landon knelt down on the grass, placing his hand on her shoulders. “Lilith, can we talk about this?”

He could see me shaking my head behind her. I just knew that it wasn’t the right time, that she wasn’t ready to hear it. This was too much for her.

“Please, no. Not now. Please. Don’t talk to me. I just need my mother. Just take me to my mother.”

“Okay, sweetie. We’ll take you home,” he said.

The ride back was extremely tense. From the front seat, I frantically texted Beth to let her know what had happened. She messaged me back right away and told me she would be waiting at the door. She thought it best that I didn’t come in and that I didn’t try to push the issue with Lilith tonight. We both knew Lilith enough to know that was the right move. The last thing I wanted was to upset her even further.

The second that Landon pulled up to the curb, Lilith ran out of the car, slamming the door. She couldn’t get out fast enough. Beth was waiting on the porch and took her inside.

As soon as she was out of sight, I burst into tears, letting free all of the pain I’d been forced to hold back in front of her.

Landon’s arms were around me so fast that I knew he’d been waiting for the very second he could comfort me. He held me so tightly. “I promise it’s gonna be okay.” He breathed into my hair. “I can’t believe I dropped that picture. I’m so sorry.”

“You didn’t drop it. It blew away, and honestly, this whole thing was inevitable. I was starting to think I couldn’t go much longer hiding it from her anyway.”

“Do you think it was the photo alone that did it, or do you think she suspected something before that?”

“She was acting kind of strange toward me tonight even before she saw the photo. Don’t you think so?” I sobbed. “Just quieter than usual—only toward me, not with you. Something has been off for a while. Ever since the day she brought up her adoption to me, I’ve noticed a change in her. So, I honestly don’t know. Maybe the photo just confirmed a suspicion that was already there. But I won’t know until she lets me ask her.”

“How did she bring it up?”

“Some time after the Ferris wheel started rising, she just hit me with it. She said, ‘It’s you.’”

Landon closed his eyes as if it wrecked him to hear that. “I always told you I’d be there when you told her. It kills me that I wasn’t. But clearly she wanted to get you alone.”

“The thing is…I wanted the ride to go on forever. I wish that she’d really let me talk to her. This feeling now of desperately needing to explain and not being able to do that is far worse.”

“She’s not ready. I get it. It’s too much. And she probably needs to hear things from Beth first. Once I found out her identity, I wasn’t ready to even think about Beverly for a long time. Of course, this is different because Lilith already knows you.”

“I can’t even imagine what’s going through her head about me right now. There is so much that even Beth can’t explain to her. I don’t know what I’ll do if she thinks I set out to trick her in some way. If she never wants to see me again, I will die, Landon.”

He held me tighter. “We’re gonna get through this. It’s gonna be a long few days, but I have a feeling she’s gonna hear you out.”

“I don’t know what I would do if you weren’t here.”

“Well, that picture wouldn’t have flown out of my wallet, for one. I feel partly responsible for this.”