We Have Till Dawn

He smiled ruefully. “You know there’s still a chance, bambino.”

“Please don’t.” I shook my head and started a new level on my game. “I might need you tomorrow instead. Today I’mma wallow in despair.”

I’d thought it would come out as a half-assed joke, but it fucking hurt.

“I’ll leave you be and call off Ruby—on one condition,” he said. “You come to my place tonight if things don’t go well with Gideon. I can pick you up.”

I nodded, agreeing, because that was already my plan. And if he was bringing his truck, I might as well bring all my shit. There wasn’t a chance in hell I could stay here another night.

“I’ll call you,” I promised.

“Bene.” He rose from his seat and patted my knee. “I’ll be at Pop’s for a while. He needs help fixing the radiator in his bedroom, but I’ll keep my phone close.”

“You can fix radiators, but you can’t make noodles,” I mumbled, swiping a raspberry over a tomato on the screen.

Anthony laughed on his way out.Gideon, that fucking bastard.

I sniffled and wiped at my cheek, and I couldn’t even be happy about beating a really difficult level in my game, ’cause all I had in my head was something he had put there. The idea of having children.

I couldn’t stop picturing it.

Before—never. Hadn’t entered my mind. Or, I mean, something for “way down the road.” Since there were so many obstacles before it became relevant. I needed a steady job, a home, solid income—and preferably a partner. Now I’d gotten the slightest glimpse of what that life could be like.

Gideon would make a good father.

He and I would make a great team. We had such different qualities, and combined…yeah. We’d nail that shit.

Maybe we’d have a boy and a girl? Or two brothers and a sister?

I sighed heavily and tossed my phone next to me. The grief rolled over me as I pulled the duvet higher, and I got weepy again because I couldn’t sniff the pillow when my nose was stuffy.

The embarrassment from earlier today decided to come back too.

I’d been an idiot. Showing up unannounced was annoying to most people; he didn’t have to be autistic for that. But to him… Christ. The slightest surprise turned into an ambush. And there I’d been, talking about how I’d pay attention to his needs?

I was a joke.

My stomach snarled with hunger, and I ignored it. I’d had three bowls of ice cream. That was enough. I’d racked up an impressive stack of dishes on the nightstand.

Tonight I’d be back in Anthony’s guest room. Later tonight. Technically, it was already night. A glance at the alarm clock told me it was four minutes past seven.

Perhaps I hadn’t matured as much these past two years as I wanted to believe. After quitting with Tina last time, I’d given myself a big ass-kicking for blowing through the money I’d earned while working for her. Granted, it meant I had one sweet fucking collection of instruments now, but that meant fuck-all when I had to crash with my brother.

While I’d saved most of the money from Gideon, I’d shown my immaturity in other ways.

My phone buzzed with a message, and I saw Gideon’s name on the display.

Can I come now instead, please? I’ve calmed down sufficiently, and I need to see you.

I sniffled and typed in a response.

Yeah, sure.

I estimated that would give me approximately fifteen minutes to compose mys—

Two firm knocks on the door interrupted my thought.

Are you kidding me?

No, it could be Ruby. Maybe. For some reason. Plus, Gideon had a key.

I threw off the covers and grabbed as many wadded-up tissues as I could, and I threw them under the sink on my way to the door. My heart slowly but surely crept up in my throat, only for it to get lodged when I saw Gideon through the peephole. He was already here. And he wasn’t dressed for success. He was wearing Yankee sweats and a hoodie.

I opened the door, figuring I was gonna do this without Instagram filters and fake smiles. I couldn’t pretend, and there was no time to try to look like I hadn’t wept like a baby earlier anyway.

He looked about as tired as I felt, and he frowned when his gaze landed on my face.

“I know, I look like shit.” I opened the door wider and let him in.

He shook his head and stopped near the kitchen table. He was scanning the place for changes.

I locked the door again and returned to the bed. “Claire busy picking out a wedding dress?” Ouch, too bitter. Well, there was no taking backsies, but I was keeping my mouth shut now. After pulling up the covers, I pulled up my knees too and hugged them to my chest.

Gideon was still frowning. “I highly doubt that considering I broke off our engagement—and she swiftly terminated our friendship as well.”