Knox (Chicago Blaze 4)

“The whole truth.”

“Well, I toured Gabe’s existing restaurant. He’s the friend from culinary school who offered me the job. It’s pretty amazing. A farm to table place. And then we had a meeting with the other two partners on the project. It’s fully funded and they’ve already broken ground. My job would be to oversee the baking side of the restaurant, which will be staffed by shelter residents.”

“And you loved it.” He sounds disappointed. “I can tell you did.”

“It’s a dream job. The shelter is being built with the strictest green guidelines—solar power, natural lighting, energy-efficient. The goal is to be as close to zero-waste as they can. I don’t know, it’s just…the more I heard, the more I liked it.”

Knox nods. “I appreciate you telling me the truth.”

His crestfallen expression melts me. “I’ve always been honest with you, and I always will. I haven’t made my decision yet.”

He exhales hard, looking down at his hands.

“There’s something else,” I say.

He looks up, brows arched in question. “What?”

“It was obvious to me that Gabe wants to be more than just business partners with me. He used to have a thing for me in culinary school, but I never encouraged it. But I was engaged then.”

“Fucking douchebag,” Knox mutters.

“He didn’t just offer me the job because he’s interested in me, though,” I say, more defensively than I intended. “I’m qualified.”

“Of course you are. They’d be damn lucky to have you. I just hate the thought that even if we tried long-distance, there’d be some sleazebag hitting on you at work every day.”

“We’d work in separate areas.”

“Trust me, he’ll find a way.”

I walk over and sit next to Knox on the couch. “I’m not interested in him, and nothing’s going to change that. Would you really consider us doing a long-distance thing if I go?”

He shrugs, looking helpless. “It’s better than not seeing you. And I could be there during my offseason.”

“Wow.” My heart swells with hope. “It means a lot that you’d support my career like that.”

“It’s not what I want. We already don’t get enough time together. But if you’re going…” He looks away, shaking his head. “We’ll have to make the best of it. It just feels like I’m losing everyone all at once.”

I feel his words like a slap to the face. When I told him about the New York offer, I didn’t realize his dad was dying, but now that I know, I can see how hard it must be to experience both these things at the same time.

“If this happens, it won’t be right away,” I say. “It’ll take months for the building construction to be complete.”

“You said you hadn’t decided yet, but I think you have,” he says flatly. “It feels like you’re saying yes.”

“I’m leaning in that direction,” I admit.

“Do you wish we’d never started seeing each other?”

“Knox, no. No. I love you. I want to have you and this job. And maybe I can. I’ll come here when I can and you’ll come to me when you can.”

“You’re not a casual thing for me.” He takes my hand. “If you were staying here, it wouldn’t have been long until I asked you if we could move in together.”

“No way,” I say, the words coming out before I realize I’m saying them.

“No?” He looks hurt and I immediately feel bad.

“It’s not because of you. I lived with Eric for years before we got married. The fact that he was drinking the milk without buying the cow became a running joke for him and his family.”

“They sound charming.”

“Yeah.” I squeeze his hand. “It’s nothing against you, honestly. I just decided after Eric that I’d never live with a man before marriage again. I felt like Eric was still trying me on for size, and I’m not doing that ever again.”

Knox puts an arm around me, pulls me close and says, “Okay. No living together. And you might be moving to New York, where some dickhead chef plans to come on to you. Is there any more bad news?”

“I think that’s it.”

He leans back, tips my chin up and kisses me. It’s a soft, slow kiss that I feel everywhere. A shiver dances down my spine and my heart swells with warmth.

“Do you still love me?” Knox asks, his lips just an inch from mine.

“I do.”

“I love you, too. And I’m not giving up what we have just because it won’t be easy. Lord knows it’s never been easy with you.”

I lean back, narrowing my eyes. “Says who?”

“I had to swim into the ocean in my running clothes just to meet you.”

I smile. “You didn’t have to. You could’ve kept walking.”

“No way.”

I snuggle against him. “You don’t think…you’ll be tempted by other women? When you’re on the road and we haven’t seen each other for a while?”

“No. I keep my word.”