Killian (On the Line 1)

“I fired Nicole this morning,” she said in a weary tone.

I grunted a response, my sarcasm pouring out unchecked. “Maybe you can reassign me to be your assistant.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked with an edge, walking around to her side of the desk.

“Just that you call the shots. All of ’em. I don’t want to go to Indy. And you know why. But you forced the issue because we’re seeing each other and now I’m not gonna have a choice.”

Her emerald eyes blazed angrily. “You’ve still got the same choice you always had, Killian. The call won’t come if you bust up another player in the next game so bad you get ejected. Or if you go get into a bar fight and get arrested again. I’ll say one more thing. For you to say I made the call because of our relationship is possibly the most insulting thing anyone’s ever said to me.”

I stood and slammed my palms on her desk. “I don’t see you trying to make any of the other guys into six or seven figure earners,” I said bitterly. “Only the one who’s fucking you.”

She shook her head dismissively. “I don’t need your money.”

“I’m well aware of that, Sidney. But you also don’t want to be the girlfriend of a guy who drives a ragtop Jeep.”

“Says who?” she challenged. “I support the professional growth of everyone around me. That’s how I lost the assistant I loved, Andrea. I promoted her because I knew she could do more. And I know you can do more. You should be playing at a level that challenges you, not one that keeps you complacent.”

“You don’t get to decide that for me.” I turned toward the door, needing to escape my clawing feelings of inadequacy. “We’re too different, me and you. You belong with some rich guy you don’t have to sneak around with because he’s beneath you.”

“I don’t want a rich guy,” she said hotly. “And you are not beneath me.”

“Well, I don’t want a woman who goes behind my fucking back and tries to make me into something I’m not. All I want is to play hockey. I’m a Flyer. And obviously that’s not good enough for you.”

“You are being totally unreasonable. I’m leaving for New York in half an hour. I’ll see you when I get back.”

I opened the door and walked out, not looking back, grateful that Barb wasn’t at her desk so I didn’t have to fake a pleasant goodbye.

I needed a place to gather my thoughts, so I headed for the locker room. The place was empty and I sat down on the bench in front of my locker, thinking about the exchange between me and Sidney. Part of me was glad I’d unloaded my hard feelings. But another part hated the hurt look in her eyes when I accused her of trying to make me into a more suitable boyfriend.

I’d always had rock star status with women. I was a pro hockey player. I thought what I had here was enough. At least, I’d always thought so. Now I wasn’t sure of anything.

The sound of approaching footsteps made me look up. Orion sat down next to me.

“How’s it going?” he asked.

“I’ve been better.”

“Want to talk about it?”

I shrugged, sliding my elbows down my thighs to rest on my knees. “Sidney doesn’t belong with a minor league hockey player,” I said.

“Why, because you’re not loaded?”

“I guess, yeah. I’ve got an old Jeep to my name, and that’s about it.”

“What does she say about it?”

“She says she doesn’t care. But you probably know she called her friend the scout. She’s either trying to make me into a success, or get rid of me. I’m not even sure which.”

Orion sighed softly. “If she hadn’t called him, I would’ve called in a favor myself. You’ve outgrown this team, Killian.”

My throat tightened uncomfortably. “Don’t say that.”

“It’s true. Even on your off days, you’re playing at the highest level of the game.”

“I don’t care about that.” I stared at the fibers of carpet at my feet. “I’ll fuck up more if I need to.”

“Hockey players put their body through a hell of a lot. We all do it because we love the game, but the big league’s the dream. Why are you so dead set against it?”

“This team is all I have,” I said, fighting to keep my voice level. “These guys are my family. I lost my mom when I was twenty-two and she was all I had.”

“I’m sorry.” Orion put a hand on my shoulder. “Does that have anything to do with you getting dropped back then?”

“It’s got everything to do with it.”

“I felt the same way about the team I retired from,” he said. “Those guys were there for me when my dad died, and that was the lowest point in my life. I considered them my family. I still do. But everything changed for me when I met my wife. Even before we were married, she became my family.”