Always (Next Generation The Skulls 1)

“They all know?” Simon asked.

“They do. Even you need to know I can’t guarantee something won’t happen. Lexie knows this. She didn’t want you to go.”

“But I wanted to go.” His mom had asked him if there was anything else he’d rather be doing. “She worries.”

“But I know it’s what you want to know.”

“This is going to be dangerous then?”

Devil nodded. “It is. What you need to understand is we’re entering a potentially dangerous home. The woman who called, she has three kids, all of which are under ten. But when we go inside, it could be the kids who cause an issue.”

“What do you mean?”

“They’ve gotten used to the way life is and if they’re loyal to their dad, they may have called him. It’s a risk. It always is.”

Simon nodded. “Are you afraid?”

Devil sighed. “I knew you were going to ask that.”

“Sorry. I’m just trying to figure this all out.”

“Are you?”

Simon looked at his dad. He didn’t want to be considered a coward. The club was all he ever wanted and if his father thought he was a coward, he wouldn’t be able to take over. “No.”

“Wrong answer, son. You are. First rule here, don’t lie.”

“You’re not afraid, are you?”

“No, I’m not. I’ve got no reason to be afraid, but here’s the thing, son, I am as well.”

“That makes no sense.”

Devil chuckled. “Going into danger doesn’t scare me. A guy with a gun. The shit I’ve faced, I know what I’m getting myself into and what’s more, I’m more than happy to do it. I live for this shit.” The smile went. “But the thought of never seeing Lexie again. Of her having to live without me, that’s a cold, harsh reality I don’t want to have to deal with. I love your mother, Simon. In fact, I can’t stand the thought of going a day when I don’t tell her that I love her. I’m sure you feel something just as strong.”

“For Tabby. Being without her, it’s like there is a giant, gaping hole in my chest but I’m not a fool, I know we’re going to have a lot of problems.”

“What makes you say that?”

“We don’t talk about it, but I’m aware she’s a Skull and I’m a Chaos. I know each time I talk about the future there’s a chance, a slim one, we can’t make it work. Even though our clubs work together, we’re different.”

Devil nodded his head. “You’re right. We’re different and knowing you’re aware of this gives me hope.”

Simon laughed. “Hope? Really?”

“Yes. It means you know that this thing with her is going to take some challenges. Tiny’s been open and honest with me. For a long time, he knew she didn’t want to be part of the club. It was only a few years ago that she embraced who she was, what she was. She could try to outrun the club, but there was no way she was going to leave this world behind. It sticks.”

“Her loyalty is to The Skulls, not to me.”

“You’re wrong there. She’s loyal to her club as is her right, but her loyalty is also to you. You’ve got something, and I tried to deny it. Figuring it was some kind of kid thing. You used her as a security blanket. Your childhoods, I tried to make yours as happy as could be but life, it was so fucked at times. When we managed to kill one evil, another came laughing in my face. There was no way I could keep it up. It’s why I made the change. I thought the one constant for you was Tabitha. But then there was also Miles, Anthony, the other Simon, Daisy even. A few of the other kids but their names escape me. You didn’t want to marry them or have their babies. You didn’t vow to be their old man, or them your old ladies. She’s special to you. I don’t always understand it at such a young age. I was out, screwing whatever threw themselves at me, but the moment I met Lexie, she was like fire. She gave me a reason to breathe. The club was always part of my life, but she made me realize exactly what I’d been missing and I would never give her up, not for the world.”

“Do you ever miss it?” Simon asked.

“Screwing random bitches?”

“No.” Simon shook his head. “Riding. Being out on the open road. I know you settled in Piston County as you felt the club needed a place to call its own, but do you ever miss just riding? Going from town to town?”

“Not anymore. The Nomad chapter is doing their stuff, you know. Remember Lucius?”

Simon nodded. “You haven’t heard from him in a long time, have you?”

“No, but I do keep an ear out. I guess since Roxy’s death, he’s been trying to deal, you know, the only way he can.”