Bound by Forever (True Immortality 3)

“You have a job. An important one. Don’t forget it.”

Soothed somewhat, she shot him a smile he couldn’t see because he was focused on the road ahead.

They fell into companionable silence for a while, and Niamh took in the city as they drove through. They slowed in the heavy traffic. Catching sight of a sign that had a wolf painted on it, Niamh thought about the reason for their flight into the woods.

“What’s it like?” she blurted out.

“What?”

“The call of the moon?”

He flicked her an amused, questioning look.

She shrugged. “I’ve never had the chance to converse with a werewolf long enough to ask. I mean, you have to turn on a full moon, right?”

“Yeah, there’s no stopping it.”

“So what does it feel like?”

Kiyo seemed to consider this. “Physically, it’s like this tingling sensation down my spine. A burning tingle. It’s a pleasure pain. The first time I was forced to turn, it was frightening to not have control over my body. To feel it changing and not be able to stop it. But after a while, the fear went away. I feel connected to the universe during a full moon in a way I don’t otherwise. Like the moon and I are bonded. Like it rejoices in my running wild in my wolf form. It’s freeing. To soar and leap and be at one with the woods and the earth and the animals. The human part of me might lose control of its body but the wolf is in control of every veer and jump and swerve through the trees.”

Something warm and full of anticipation moved through her. “It sounds … awesome.”

Kiyo threw her a quick grin.

“You don’t resent being a wolf, then?”

He shook his head. “Strangely not. When I was first bitten, I didn’t want it. I was afraid of it. But eventually—and by eventually, I mean quite a few years later—I started to give into it. When I did, I realized that being a werewolf had freed me.”

“Freed you?”

“When I was human, I was always treated as if I was different because of my mother’s supposed shame. Children who should have been friends used me as target practice. Adults veered between treating me as if I were invisible or as if I were less than an animal to them. It got better as I got older, living in Tokyo away from the past. But I never quite felt myself. Or that I belonged, no matter how people tried to make me feel like I belonged.

“Being awoken to the supernatural world, becoming a werewolf … I was finally able to let go of the idea that being different was something to be ashamed of. I let go of all the shit that had screwed with my head for years. It was freeing, and I might have been happy as a wolf.”

Niamh heard the underlying sadness in his voice and guessed, “If you hadn’t been cursed with immortality?”

“Yeah.”

“Will you tell about me about it, Kiyo? Will you tell me the rest of your story?”

He slowed the car to stop at a traffic light and looked at her, searching her face for something.

Niamh didn’t dare move, afraid any little thing would push him away. He didn’t make friendship comfortable, that was for certain. But Niamh couldn’t seem to stop wanting to try with him, anyway.

The lights changed and Kiyo turned to focus on the road again.

Disappointment filled her only to melt away as he began to speak.

“After Sofu abandoned me in Tokyo, I tried to survive the only way I could. I begged for food and fell in with some street urchins who taught me how to pick pockets. I hated it, but they kept me alive. It was only some weeks later when I was begging for food in the Kabuto-cho area that things changed. It was the business center of the city, where the bank was. While businessmen were more likely to kick you out of their way than give you yen, those who would give money were often more casually generous than could be found elsewhere. There were a few who handed over yen notes as if they didn’t even realize their value.

“That day I was begging, I was approached by a well-dressed woman. When we talked, she seemed surprised by how well-spoken and educated I was. It turned out she was the wife of a construction contractor. She gave me yen and told me to meet her back there the next day for more. So I did. And she kept her promise. This time she’d brought food as well as coin and asked me about my life. Assuming the truth of my illegitimacy would send her running, I lied and said my family had perished in a fire back in Osaka. That I’d come to Tokyo to make my fortune. She was a kindhearted woman and I hated lying to her, but I was trying to survive.”