Magical Midlife Dating (Leveling Up 2)

Part of the problem had been me, of course. I hadn’t demanded he try a little harder or learn the things that would have worked better. Resentment had kicked in, and sex had become the equivalent of one more chore at the end of the day. One more thing that pleased him and not me so much.

I wanted to change that so badly. I wanted my fresh start to be inclusive of physical intimacy again. I used to love it. I loved kissing and making out, holding hands and taking walks. I loved love—at least the idea of love. I wanted to experience that again. I wanted to experience the rush of falling headfirst, and the anxious but not unpleasant fear of the floor dropping out from under me.

I just needed to find someone to do that with. Super easy, of course, given I hadn’t dated in a dog’s age, didn’t know how to flirt without being awkward or creepy, and didn’t have the first clue how to meet someone in the wild. Like, did you just walk up to a rando and start a conversation? That wouldn’t go well for me. Small talk was my nemesis. Did you give come hither eyes and wait to see if they did? How was I supposed to manage that without giving a deranged serial-killer vibe?

All unknowns. I’d decided to get my feet wet with online dating. I’d be taking the plunge for the first time later tonight.

Maybe I should’ve jumped earlier. My inevitable injuries would have given me an excuse to cancel.

“I wonder if there is an adult bookstore in this town,” I mused, because the only way I was likely to get some action was if it was from myself.

All conversation stopped.

My face instantly heated and I slammed my laptop closed out of pure embarrassment. Liking some boom-boom time was one thing, but broadcasting what I planned to do if it was not readily available was a different thing entirely.

“I mean… What I meant was…” I stammered.

“First things first, Jessie—we need to square away business,” Niamh said, completely unperturbed. Edgar’s wide eyes said he was not so blasé about the whole thing. “After that, we’ll get ye enough bells and whistles to have ye singin’ the Lord’s name. Ye won’t want to come out’ve that room for a week, so you won’t.”

“That’s… No. What I’d meant to say was—”

“Austin is practically beside himself with preparing for whoever might come calling,” Niamh went on. “That poor fella is actin’ like he’ll be the only one defending this town against ’em. We need backup we can trust.”

“How do we know we can trust them?” I asked, face still blazing like a furnace as I pretended to be as mature as my age.

Niamh gave me a long look. “That’s your department. The house will help, I believe…”

“Yes.” Edgar entwined his fingers as he neared the table. Surely the gesture was meant to keep him from scratching his head, but Niamh’s look made him pause and retreat to the other side of the kitchen. “The summons should call all the able-bodied that your magic deems worthy. You will need to choose who works for you and who doesn’t. This will just be the first wave, I believe. The first summons. As you progress, you’ll send out more, the first few accidental, like now, and then on purpose as you fill in your team. It is expected that you be choosy. Very choosy, if you want to. Downright picky—”

“We get it,” Mr. Tom drawled, putting the finishing touches on the sandwiches. “Edgar, you don’t want a sandwich, do you?”

“No, no.” Edgar smiled, his long canines looking ghastly in his gleaming smile—he’d been using whitening gel on his teeth, a subtle hint that he clearly wished Ivy House had spruced the color up a bit. “I stunned some trespassers I caught sneaking around in the woods before the house called us in. I’ll just go tuck into them.”

“You don’t…” I cleared my throat. I’d asked this before, but I always worried the answer would change. “You don’t plan on killing them, right?”

“Oh no, of course not.” Edgar laughed. “I only kill for sport. No, I’ll just take enough to tide me over. Don’t fight today, save it for another day.”

Niamh shook her head. “You’ve missed the mark on that cliché.”

“Right, well.” He nodded at me. “Probably best you didn’t jump. There was a possibility of Niamh running you through with her horn. You might’ve healed from that, but then what if I didn’t catch you? A horn and a splat? That might’ve been too much for even Ivy House magic to patch up.”

“Run her through, me arse,” Niamh grumbled. “I would’ve gotten her. The height was tough, though. We should find a higher point to drop her from. That way I’d have more time for maneuvering. You know, since someone is too afraid to miss and drop her.” She gave Mr. Tom a pointed look.