Wheels of Fire

“Mallory get home okay?” Alvin asks.

“Yeah, she called me when she got in.”

“She was here?” Jacob asks.

“Yeah, bro. She came back with me. Where the fuck were you?”

He shrugs. “Recharging my batteries like Mark suggested.”

Garrett stretches, arching his back. “That’s code for fucking strippers.”

Jacob snickers and waves his lyric book at me. “They weren’t strippers, they were muses.”

“Fantastic,” I mutter.

“What’d you bring back?” Jacob asks, peering over at my own notebook.

I’d scribbled out a whole lot of rage-filled lyrics after the fight with Andrew. Worked on an aggressive new sound I’ve been trying to capture. After that, a whole lot of sappy shit flowed from my fingertips. “Came up with a few heavy riffs. I think I finished ‘In Your Hands’.

Jacob raises his eyebrows. “Yeah? Still wicked sappy?”

“Yup.”

“Panty melter.” Garrett points at me. “The song, not you. Girls love that sappy shit.”

That’s not why I wrote it but as long as they’re not going to fight me about putting it on the album, I don’t care.

“I think we all know Chaser’s a panty melter as well,” Jacob says.

“I’m flattered.”

“All right.” Mark stands and waves his hands in a settle down gesture. “Time to focus. Redirect our energy toward finishing this album.”

“Right-o!” Jacob shouts.

“We’ve recorded some solid stuff. All killer, no filler.” Mark goes through the list of songs we want to include on the album. It’s long and it’s time to start narrowing them down.

“‘Always Be Mine’ is the one that fits the Elimination Date soundtrack the best. It’s a killer song. Represents Kickstart’s sound really well. Great way to introduce you to a new audience. How do you feel about letting them have that one?” he asks.

We take a vote and it’s unanimous. My chest pumps with excitement. It’s really happening. One of our songs on a soundtrack. For a major motion picture.

“‘Misery Pangs’…I’m not loving that one as much. It’s not as strong as the others. Feels more like a B side.” Mark glances up to gauge our reaction.

So much for ‘all killer, no filler.’ That song’s kind of Garrett’s baby. We all worked on it but he brought it to the table. It’s a solid, quick rock song. But there’s no emotional pull that really grabs me one way or another. I’m not about to shit all over Garrett’s contribution, though.

“Eh.” Garrett scuffs the toe of his sneaker against the carpet. “I’m not super attached. If you don’t think it fits, let’s set it aside for now.”

“We’ll circle back to it,” I say and everyone agrees.

“The label still wants ‘Cry It Out’ on here,” Mark says. “Non-negotiable. But I thought maybe we could do something really different with it.”

“Like?” Jacob prompts.

Mark’s gaze lands on me. “You should sing it.”

“What?” My eyes widen and I glance at each one of my band mates. Did they put Mark up to this to fuck with me? “No. I’m not a singer.”

“It’s a personal song.” Mark taps his chest. “Your vocals will give it more depth. Maybe not the whole thing but the first verse.” He glances at Jacob. “You cool with that?”

Jacob, predictably is not down with this plan. “How are we going to work that out live?”

“Race the clock to get a blow job.” Alvin rolls his eyes. “It’s a solid idea. It will help set us apart from everyone else.”

“It’s also an old song,” Garrett points out. “We need to make it as fresh as possible, otherwise fans are going to be annoyed.”

“Yeah, cool. Whatever.” Jacob waves his hand in the air.

I shoot a glare at Mark. Head’s up might have been nice.

“We’ll go over some vocal techniques this week but I want it to have that raw, unpolished edge to it.” Mark squeezes his fist in the air. Guess he’s given this lots of thought.

Mallory

“You know how you always say you like my voice?” Chaser asks after sharing the news about which song they picked for the soundtrack.

Keeping the phone to my ear, I flop onto the bed and roll over on my stomach, kicking my feet in the air. “I really do.”

“Mark wants me to record the vocals for ‘Cry It Out’.”

“No way! Really?” My nose scrunches up. “How’d Jacob take that?”

He huffs a laugh. “Not well.”

“You don’t think it’s going to make him start using again, do you?”

“Jesus, I hope not. I wouldn’t do it if I thought it would fuck him up that much.”

Chaser has more faith in Jacob than I do. And I’m worried about Chaser when they go back on the road. “Just…be careful.”

“You know I will. I still haven’t decided how I feel about it or if I’m going to even do it yet.”

“I think you should. The song’s personal to you.”

“Tell me what crazy shit happened on Shallow End this week.”

“Then I’ll spoil the show for you!”

“Trust me, your version and what’s shown on screen are entirely different things.”

I snort-laugh into the phone. “Well, Billie’s recovered from her demonic possession.”

“Naturally.”

“And she gives a stern lecture to two rival gangs that helps them end their feud.”

He roars with laughter. “Priceless.”

“I thought so too.”

“Sounds like Billie’s getting a lot of attention, is that driving Pamela nuts?”

I frown but instead of brushing it aside, say exactly what’s on my mind. “Why do you care about Pamela’s feelings?”

“I don’t. I’m worried that if she’s not the center of attention, she’ll try to stir up trouble for you.”

“Oh.” I pick at a loose thread in the comforter. “I didn’t tell her anything about what happened.”

“Good, I never told Andrew about her phone call.”

“Has she called up there again?”

“Not that I know of.”

“Good.”

“Mallory?”

“What?”

“I don’t want to talk about Pamela. We just wasted at least thirty cents on her, and that’s way too much.”

“Agreed.” I yawn and roll over. “What do you want to talk about?”

“How the first morning I’m home, I plan to wake you up with my tongue in your pussy.”

“Ooo…” I laugh softly. “I’m listening.”

Chapter Forty-Five

Mallory

The call to film the pilot for Ocean Ave. finally comes from Marilyn a few days later.

“I got it! I really got the part?” I shriek.

“Easy, Mallory. It’s just the test pilot. Network still has to decide if they’re going to pick it up.” She pauses. “But Southgate rarely has anything turned down. Everything he touches is gold. He really liked you too.”

“He’s so nice. Everyone there was.”

She snorts. “Don’t get used to it.”

“What do I do about Shallow End?”

“I’ll smooth that over. You say nothing. I don’t want you ending up on no shows. Loose lips sink ships. Are we clear?”

“Crystal.”

The morning I leave to film the pilot, I find a bright arrangement of sunflowers, and irises sitting on the doorstep. Grinning from ear to ear, I pick them up and bring them inside.

M-

Knock ’em dead.

C

He remembered.

The bouquet is so pretty, I hate leaving it. I check the water and set the vase on the kitchen counter before leaving.

The guard at the gate remembers me from the audition and congratulates me. “Your co-stars are already arriving.” He points to the left. “You can park along that wall. Any spot that isn’t marked ?

?reserved.’”

“Thank you!”

Nervous, excited energy bubbles up inside me. I might actually be on another television show.

Overwhelmed, once I find a parking spot, I take a deep breath and tip my head down. “You’re always on my mind and in my heart, Mom. I don’t think I could do this without you watching over me. I hope I make you proud.” How I wish I could share this news with her. She’d be so excited for me and want every little detail. “I miss you,” I whisper.