White Heat (Lost Kings MC 5)

After they’re out of earshot, Murphy and I are the only ones left at the table. “Thanks, Hope.”

“For what?”

“Always being so good to her.”

“I can’t help it.”

The corners of his mouth turn up. “Thanks for trying to talk her into another school.”

I turn his words over in my head before answering. “I wasn’t saying it for your benefit.”

He just stares at me.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean that to come out so harsh. I want what’s best for her. I followed my high school boyfriend to college and it was a big mistake.”

“I thought you met your husband in college?”

How exactly had I forgotten that?

“I did. They were actually roommates freshman year.”

“Awkward.”

Enough years have passed that I can laugh about it now. “You have no idea. My boyfriend was cheating on me, and Clay couldn’t figure out how to tell me.”

Murphy chuckles. “Bet he was there to comfort you after.”

“Not really. It—” Huh. I never gave this a whole lot of thought. “He took a few months to ask me out. He said I was aloof.”

“Sounds like guy code for stuck up.”

“That’s what I said!” He laughs a little harder and I move over a few chairs to sit next to him.

“That was nice advice you gave Heidi about the driving too. Thanks.”

Sometimes I think Murphy worries about Heidi more than Teller does.

“What did you mean about she can go anywhere she wants? Did she have somewhere else in mind?”

His gaze wanders to the mural over the bar against the back wall. “I don’t know. She hasn’t talked to me about that stuff in years.”

It seems he has more to say, so I keep quiet and wait for him to continue. “She’s always been smart. Knew when she was little she’d be going to college.” He shrugs but still won’t look my way. “Been putting money aside for years now, so you know, if she got into a real good school but didn’t have enough scholarships to cover it she could still go.”

Jesus. My breath catches and I can’t speak. My own mother drained every penny from the college fund my father started for me long before I started filling out applications. Here this guy who has no obligation to her…I can’t even wrap my head around it.

“I know that’s dumb,” he says quickly. “T’s been doing the same thing.”

It takes a second to find the right words. “It’s not dumb at all. I think that’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.”

He huffs a short laugh. “Yeah, sweet. That’s me.” His jaw tightens and his next words come out harsh. “She asked if I was trying to buy her when I mentioned it a few months back.”

“I’m sure she was only kidding.”

“Maybe.” He shakes his head. “You see the good in all of us.”

“I see what you can’t see about yourself.”

“You keep thinking I’m good and I’m not, Hope. I hurt everyone around me.”

Murphy’s always so hard on himself. To everyone else he’s tough and cocky. But under—way under—the bravado, he’s awfully sensitive. I’m already teetering on the edge of tears every day, and this conversation is about to push me right off the ledge. Instead, I throw my arms around his shoulders, embracing him in an awkward hug. He reaches up and pats my arm.

“What’s going on?” Wrath’s voice booms through the dining room, startling me. My arms drop from Murphy, but I pat him on the back.

“Nothing. Heidi was here with her college applications. We were just talking about where she’s planning to go.”

Wrath narrows his eyes at me making me feel like a kid who got caught doing something naughty. “You need to have your arms around him to do that?”

Oh, he did not just say that. I’m out of my chair so quick, it screeches across the floor. “Don’t turn a friendly gesture into something ugly. I’m not in the mood for your caveman rules right now, Wrath.”

“See what I mean?” Murphy mutters.

Now I’m only more confused.

“Cut it out, bro. She’s—”

I whip around and nail Murphy with a stare. “If you say ‘old enough to be your mother,’ I will kick your ass.”

Murphy snorts, his shoulders shaking with laughter. “That’s not what I was going to say.” He raises his gaze to Wrath. “Don’t take shit out on her. She didn’t do anything wrong.”

This has to be the first time I’ve seen Murphy challenge Wrath and I want to get out of here before the room explodes. Wrath catches my hand as I pass him. “Hey. I’m sorry.”

Wrath apologizing?

“Everything okay?” Trinity asks as she enters the dining room.

Wrath gives me a pleading look, silently asking me not to tell her he’s been an ass before nine o’clock, I think.

I give him one last narrow-eyed glare before turning away. Yes, I’m being a brat, but he really pissed me off implying…whatever the hell he was implying. “Everything’s good, Trin. I need to run upstairs and change. Unless you need help?”

I know she’ll never take me up on an offer to help her in the kitchen. I could be insulted, but let’s be honest, I’ll just be in her way.

“Why you so tweaked, man?” Murphy asks after Hope leaves.

I already feel bad about how I snapped at her. Murphy’s question makes it worse. “Fuck off.”

He stands and shoves his chair in. “This sucks for everyone. You wanna be a dick to me, fine, but don’t treat her like shit. She just spent who knows how long helping Heidi out with her college stuff.”

Man, having Murphy tell me how to behave pisses me off. “I apologized. Now mind your own business before I kick your ass,” I growl.

My low voice and fuck-off stare finally work their magic. Murphy leaves, but not before reaching out to tap Trinity on the arm on his way out.

Dick.

Only the sight of Trinity’s perfect angel face calms me down. Especially when she turns and shines her smile on me. She hurries over and takes my hands. “Morning.”

How can I not lean down to kiss to her forehead?

“Morning, angel.”

“What’d I miss?”

Taking her hand, I tug her along into the kitchen.

“Nothing. Stupid stuff.”

She nods and opens the refrigerator to start making breakfast. I drop into one of the kitchen chairs and enjoy watching her. Don’t even bother asking what she’s making.

After breakfast, she’s still wearing a concerned face. Every few minutes she looks like she’s gonna spit some words out, then she hesitates.

“What’s wrong, babe?”

Trinity’s hands keep nervously twisting in her lap until I put my own hand over them to stop her.

“Please don’t be mad.”

Naturally that raises my what the fuck radar. But I wait for her to continue without opening my big mouth.

“Things are good between us—”

“Yeah.” Where’s she going with this?

“I’ve been feeling guilty about how I think I’ve fucked up your relationship with some of the guys.”

“You got nothing to feel guilty about. We’re fine.”

“Yes.” She taps my chest. “You and I are fine.” The firm tone of her voice makes me think she finally believes it. “But all those years, I never thought about what I was doing to the brotherhood.”

“We’re fine.” I got every brother’s back and I know they’ve got mine. Never doubt it for a second.

Wait a second. “Did one of them ask you to talk to me?” And by one of them, I’ve narrowed it down to Teller or Murphy. I will beat the shit out of them if they heaped any guilt on my girl.

“No. Nothing like that. I know…I know Teller’s worried you hate him. Murphy hasn’t said anything, but he’s bothered. I don’t think you realize how much he’s always looked up to you.”

Yeah, so much that he spent a good f

our years nailing my girl.

Done. Over with. In the past. Moving forward.

“So what are you asking?”

“Nothing. I’m not trying to stick my nose in club business. I just want to help fix whatever I fucked up.”

“You didn’t—”

“Yes, I did.”

“I was going to say, you didn’t fuck it up alone.”

The corner of her mouth lifts. “True.”

“So, what do you want me to do? Buy him a puppy? Take him fishing? Teach him how to throw a football?”

Her hand thumps against my chest as she shakes with laughter. “No! Stop making fun of me.”

I love when Trinity laughs. Especially when I’m the one who makes her do it. And while it’s bringing up some uncomfortable shit from our past, I love her devotion to the club and how much she wants what’s best for everyone.

“You realize if I’m nice to him, he’ll get spooked and think I’m tryin’ to off him, right? I have a reputation to uphold. Gotta pick on the younger guys and toughen them up.”

She laughs even harder, almost falling out of my lap. Christ, this woman’s making me soft. She’s not taking me seriously at all. I flick my fingers against her sides until she’s laughing so hard she can barely breathe. “Stop! Stop!”

“I’ll think of something, Angel Face. You put it out of your head, okay? Only man you need to worry about is me.”

All laughter leaves her face. “This is me worrying about you. I want you to be happy. I want—”

“You make me happy.”

“Thank you. Let me finish. I don’t want any leftover hostility that messes with you guys.”

“We’re men. We’re always hostile. I’d take a bullet for that little fuck, same as he’d do for me.”

“Please don’t say that.” Her sudden serious tone takes all the fun out of our moment. “I couldn’t stand losing you after we just figured things out.”

“Are you saying you want me to push Murph in front of a bullet instead?”

Her girlish laughs come racing back and she shoves my chest. “No! Dammit, I’m serious.”

“I’m so confused, angel.”

“No you’re not.”

“Hey,” I grab her hand and hold it still. “I get what you’re saying.”

But for the rest of the day I can’t get her words out of my head. That’s how I find myself alone with Murphy later on. War room door’s open, which isn’t unusual, but it makes me curious enough to poke my head in.

“What’s up, Murph?”

His head snaps up and maybe Trinity’s right, because he almost seems nervous. Murphy’s a tough little fuck. Isn’t afraid of much. Not that I mind him being afraid of me. He should be. But still.

“Nothing.” He holds out a parts manual to me. “Trying to put an order together.”

“For what?”

He shrugs and looks away. “Bike for Rock. I assume he’ll want to take off for a few days when he gets out.”

Good to know brother hasn’t lost faith.

“Yeah, and?”

“Nothin’. Tryin’ to decide if it should be two-up.”

“Gotcha.”

“If it is, I’m gonna order stuff to make it more comfortable for her. If not…”

“He can just take one of the plain bikes from the garage?”

“Yeah.”

Thinking back to the last time the club went through similar shit, I recall Rock taking off by himself. But that’s only because his skank ex-wife deserted his ass while he was inside. “Hope will be here when he gets out. He’ll want her with him.”

I grab the list from his hand and snicker as I read it. “Oh, man. He’ll hate this shit.” Rock likes his bike unfussy and streamlined. Murphy’s building it purely with the passenger’s comfort in mind.

“Yeah, but she’ll appreciate it.”

“Happy wife, happy life?”

“Something like that.”

“While you’re at it,” I flip through until I find what I want. “Order this for me too.”

Murphy raises an eyebrow and I shrug. “Her ass sits there permanently now, might as well make sure she’s comfortable too.”

“You’re a real romantic, bro.”

“Thanks. That’s what I hear.”

Murphy shakes his head, but he’s laughing.

“Want to come down to the gym with me? Jake’s out, I could use help with one of his classes. And I got that kid I want to maybe bring in as a prospect. You should meet him and tell me what you think.”

You’d think I asked him to chop his dick off the way he looks at me. “Sure. No problem.”

Well, aren’t I in for a fun afternoon.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Keeping myself busy when I’m so worried about Rock isn’t easy. Throwing myself into wedding planning helps. But it’s bittersweet. In the back of my mind, I keep wondering if I’m planning a party for nothing. If I’ll be saying my vows behind the brick walls of the Slater County Jail.

Flimsy evidence. Unreliable witness.

I find myself chanting those two phrases to myself a lot these days.

Trinity’s been such a big help. I don’t know what I’d do without her. Without any of the guys.

Wrath ran out of their room like I tried to set him on fire when I showed up at their door with my wedding checklist. “I need to get Rock’s wedding band,” I inform Trinity after he leaves.

Trinity’s face breaks into a grin. We’ve spent hours searching websites and catalogs together. “Did you finally find one you like?”

“I think so. I found this jeweler on Etsy. But I want to see the ring in person. Their shop’s in Boston. Are you up for a road trip?”

She chews on her bottom lip and won’t meet my eyes. “You better ask Wrath.”

Oh, boy. I think a year ago if someone had said that to me, I would have flipped my lid. Now? “Well, yes. I assumed either he or Z would go with us.”

“It’s not Lost Kings territory.”

“So?”

She stares at me as if I’m dense.

“I wasn’t planning go blazing through Massachusetts with a blinking neon LOKI sign, Trin.”

Finally, she lightens up and laughs. “Yeah. Sorry.”

Now that I have it in my head, I can’t let the idea go. It might be a touch of stir-crazy.

Damn, it grinds my gears to ask Wrath’s permission to take a two-hour drive. Especially when the first word out of his mouth is no.

“What do you mean no?”

“I mean no. It’s not safe territory.”

I’m trying. Trying really hard not to give Wrath a hard time. I know we’re all under stress. But I still want to smack him.

“Wrath, if you can stand to leave your cut at home, and we take your truck or Rock’s SUV, how will anyone know who we’re affiliated with?”

“Tell me why this is so important.”

He’ll think I’m an idiot. There’s no indication Rock’s getting out anytime soon. But I can’t explain it. I need to get his ring. I need to keep moving forward as if our wedding is happening in a few months.

I can’t bear to think of the alternative.

“I want to get Rock’s wedding band,” I answer quietly. “I found what I want at this shop in Boston. But I want to see it in person and see if he can make a few adjustments.”

His face finally softens, but it takes a minute before he says anything. “Okay. We’ll go tomorrow. Do you know when they’re open?”

“Yes. All the information’s upstairs, but I’ll email the owner to make sure he’s ready for us.”

“Okay.”

Cocking my head to the side, I study him for a second before asking my next question. “Are you going to allow Trinity to come?” I’m really asking for trouble today aren’t I?

“Yes, she can come,” he snarks back at me. “At least she knows how to behave,” he mumbles as he turns away.

“I heard that.”

“I said

it loud enough.”

“Jerk.”

“Love you too, Cinderella.”

As soon as he’s gone, I jog up the stairs, feeling better about things. Trinity’s busy cleaning out one of the guest rooms. “What are you doing? I thought you weren’t doing this stuff anymore?”

“Someone has to.”

“Jeez.”

Once she’s got the laundry going, she lifts her chin at me. “What’re you up to?”

“Your man’s a pain in my ass.”

She chuckles and thankfully doesn’t seem insulted. “Tell me about it.”

“Well, he said we can go to Boston. He’s driving us. Tomorrow. Can you come?”

“Yeah. Of course.”

I can’t even describe what went through me when Hope explained her need to get Rock’s wedding band. After that, how the fuck could I ever say no to her? She was right too, which annoys me. There’s no reason we can’t go through the area if we’re not flying colors. I’m so hyper-focused on keeping everyone safe, I barely want to leave the property anymore.

This trip will be good for us. Get Hope out of the house. Keep her focused on good things. And I’m doing something good for my best friend by keeping his woman happy. Win-win.

And if I happen to pick up an engagement ring for Trinity while I’m there, even better.

That’s what’s on my mind the next morning. Well, that and the fact that Trinity’s actually still asleep for once.

My phone goes off, just as I’m about to wake her up in my special way.

Hope: Can you come upstairs when you have a chance?

Doesn’t seem urgent. I go back and forth and finally decide to let Trinity sleep a little longer.

When I get to Hope and Rock’s room, I almost wish I’d chosen to wake Trinity up instead.

The door’s open a crack and swings wider as I knock. Hope’s frantically pawing through Rock’s dresser, items scattered all over the place.

“What’re you up to, Hope?”

She barely glances at me before grabbing a dark red velvet box and thrusting it at me. I already know what’s in it and my gut clenches.

She flips the lid open and plucks the hunk of white gold out and shoves it in my hands. “Does this fit Rock? Do you know? He never wears rings. I have no idea what size he wears and I can’t exactly go down to the jail to measure him.” She’s frantic, babbling and on the verge of tears, which is finally what snaps me out of my fog from seeing that hideous fucking ring again.