Beautifully Broken 1: If You Stay

“He’s here for a date.  He saved my ass last night.  And if you’d like to come with me while I change clothes, we can talk about it.”

“Oh, you bet I will.”

Madison calls out to another waitress to watch things in the dining room, and then she accompanies me down the long back hall to her office, where I’d stashed my bag.

As I take off my garlicky restaurant shirt and apply fresh deodorant, Maddy starts firing questions at me.  With each word that leaves her mouth, I sympathize even more with Pax, who I know is answering just as many questions in the other room.

As I pull on a soft white long-sleeved shirt and jeans and spray perfume on my neck, I look at my sister.

“Look.  I know you’re concerned about me.  And I don’t honestly know if I should be taking this chance with Pax.  But what I do know is that he makes me feel things I’ve never felt before.  He makes me feel alive and hopeful that life truly can turn out amazing, if I only try hard enough.  And last night, he saved me from Jared’s drunk ass.  So please.  Just give me some space to try and figure this out and see where it goes.  It’s just a freaking date.  We’re not eloping or anything.”

Madison sighs, loud and long.  “I think you’re insane. The guy has a drug problem.  Among many other problems, probably.  I don’t think you should be giving him the time of day, much less a few hours for a date.”

I glare at her.

“Maddy, you shouldn’t judge someone that you don’t even know.  I don’t think he actually has a drug problem.  I think he uses, and of course I hope he stops. He made a mistake the other night by using too much.  And again, I hope he stops and that never happens again.  But there’s something in him that seems so real and genuine, I can’t help but want to get to know him better.  There must be something good in him.  He saved me last night.  He didn’t have to.”

I stare at her and Maddy sighs heavily once again as she strums her red nails on her desk nervously.

“There’s something I should remind you of—something our mother always said.  You can’t change a person, Mila.  Not ever.  A person will always be what they are.  So don’t go into this thinking that you can change Pax, and that his good qualities will overtake his bad.  Things don’t work that way.  You don’t even know him.”

I’m quiet as I brush my hair and pull it into a low ponytail.

“No, I don’t,” I finally say as I turn to face her.  “But you don’t either.  I’m going to get to know him because I’m an adult and it’s my decision.  Can we please drop this now?”

We have a stare down, me into her blue eyes and her into my green.  Finally, she sighs and looks away.  I smile at her concession.

“Thank you,” I tell her as I bend to kiss her cheek.  “Just be polite to him, okay?  I’m not asking you to be best friends.”

Maddy scowls at me, but I pay her no mind as I hurry out to the bar to save Pax from Tony.  As I approach, I see that he doesn’t appear to need saving. Tony is chuckling at something that Pax said, and Pax seems to be perfectly at ease.

I relax.

That is, until Pax turns in his seat and smiles at me. He’s got a cleft in his chin that I somehow didn’t notice before and his golden eyes are sparkling.

The world tilts on its axis and my heart slams a crazy cadence against my ribcage.  I’m probably in way over my head, but for the moment, I don’t care.

Chapter Ten

Pax

I’ve never seen anything as beautiful as Mila looks walking toward me across the dining room.  It’s not just because she’s gorgeous.  It’s because she’s walking toward me.  To be with me.  Even if it’s only for tonight or for now.

I gulp and grin at her.

She smiles back and everything seems right with the world, a strange and unusual feeling for me. 

When Mila is halfway to me, Tony says quietly, “Don’t hurt that girl or you will answer to me.”

I glance at him and he’s got a gruff, rigid look on his face, very different from the congenial bartender he was a second ago.  But I understand it.  He’s protecting Mila and I’ve got to respect that.  I nod.

“I’ll try not to.”

Tony nods back as he towels off a glass.  “Do that.”

Mila slides up next to me, breaking the sudden tension.

“Hi,” she murmurs and she places her slender hand on my shoulder.  I fight the urge to lift it into mine and kiss it.  It’s a strange inclination for me.  But she seems to bring out strange things in me.

“Hi,” I answer.  “You ready for our date?”

She grins again.  “Absolutely.  Why don’t we put our food orders in before the kitchen closes and then we’ll open a bottle of wine.  I’ll show you the best table in the house.”

She grabs my hand and leads me through the quiet dining room to an even quieter table for two by the windows.  The entire back of the restaurant faces the lake which is easily visible through the windows.  To the left, I see an Italian-style patio, which I must assume is used for dining in the summer months.  It’s too chilly to eat out there now.

“Will this be all right, monsieur?” Mila asks with a smile and an exaggerated accent.  I grin back.

“French?  I thought this was some fancy Italian joint.”

She giggles, handing me a menu as I sit.  I catch a hint of her perfume as she moves and I inhale it.  She smells like heaven, just the way her mouth tastes.

“We’re not aiming to be fancy.  We’re aiming to be an authentic Italian place.  We just did a bunch of renovations this past summer to improve the ambiance and make it feel like you’re in Italy.”

I look around at the rough stucco walls, the Italian art, the rustic charm.  It does seem like we’re sitting in an old-world kitchen.  So I tell her that and she beams.  Apparently, that’s exactly the look they were going for.

“I’ll have the lasagna,” I tell her.  “Is it good here?”

She gives me a look.  “Everything’s good here.  Make sure to tell all your friends.”

I laugh.  “I don’t have that many.  But I’ll try and pimp your restaurant for you anyway. How do you feel about the rougher type of crowd?”