Bullets & Bonfires

The last time I was this crazed over a woman, it was Bree. Back when she was finishing high school and I was barely in my twenties. That was nothing compared to what I feel for her now. After the time we’ve spent together. The things we’ve confided in each other. We’ve created a bond different from any we’ve shared before.

And I don’t want to destroy it.

I turn to splash water over my face.

Bree’s little bag of personal items sits on the counter.

Open.

Toothpaste, comb, unidentifiable makeup items, hair ties. My lips twitch into a smile. There’s something sweet about all her girly stuff taking up space in Vince’s minimalist bathroom.

The smile dies on my face when I notice the little round plastic package.

Birth control pills.

A sharp ache twists in my chest. Bree’s not a little girl anymore.

Back then, pushing her away had been the right thing to do. I kept my friendship with her brother intact and allowed her to escape our small town to make something of herself. Now, she’s finished her degree and has a plan to continue. I’m so damn proud of her.

Denying myself back then made sense.

Now, it doesn’t.

The asshole in me pipes up. You could go bareback.

Shame slams into me, and I whip open the shower door, yanking on the hot water harder than necessary.

Tomorrow, I’ll fix everything.

Tonight I’m hard enough to pound nails and need to relieve some tension.

Deep humiliation keeps me from sleeping. Not only do I now have absolute proof Liam doesn’t care about me the way I care about him, I also managed to ruin our friendship. Let’s be honest, there’s no way to come back from what happened on the couch. Rubbing myself against him like I was in heat. Practically begging him.

Liam rejecting me.

Telling me I’m not ready.

That stung. My stomach twists with indignation. I’m so tired of having Liam treat me like a kid who doesn’t know what she wants.

In the darkest hours, I form a plan. I can’t stay here. Not after last night. I can’t be in the same house with Liam any longer. It’s slowly killing me.

Since he’s duty-bound, in more ways than one apparently, he won’t leave until my brother returns. Not even last night’s disaster will pry his stubborn ass out of the house.

I’ll have to be the one to leave.

Once I make the decision, I set my alarm. Sleep finally finds me for a few blissful hours.

I’m up, dressed, and have a week’s worth of clothes packed before seven. As soon as I open the bedroom door, Liam’s voice reaches me, and I freeze.

Sounds like he’s on the phone.

I scurry out of the bedroom and stop short at Kimber’s bed.

Shit. How can I leave her?

Her deep whiskey eyes peer up at me.

Crouching down, I run my hand over her fur. “I’ll be back for you.”

Liam’s voice sounds like he’s coming closer, so I give Kimber a final pat.

Ignore him. Keep moving.

Hang on to what little dignity remains. March out there and announce you’re leaving. Don’t ask. Tell him your plans.

Actually, fuck it, just grab the damn keys and go.

“Thanks, Keegan, I owe you.” Great, maybe Liam’s asking his big, burly firefighter buddy to come babysit me next.

No way.

“Bree?”

I turn and face Liam but can’t look him in the eye. “Where are you going?” he asks. His low, concerned voice sends shivers over my skin.

Ignore it. He doesn’t want you.

“I can’t stay here. I’m uh, going back to Empire to stay with a friend of mine.” This is actually a lie. I don’t know where I’m going. I just know I’m not staying here.

“No.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re not leaving.”

Chin up. “Watch me.”

“Bree,” he says, following me to the front door. “Bree, look at me.”

“No. I can’t.”

His hand closes over my shoulder, and I shriek, ducking out of his grasp. “Don’t touch me!”

“Shit.” He holds his hands up in a gesture of surrender. “I’m sorry, Bree.”

My skin burns with embarrassment from my over-reaction. Another gift from Chad. I know no matter what, Liam would never ever hurt me.

“Stop and talk to me for a second,” he pleads.

I want to so badly. I want to talk to Liam. I want to rewind the clock and not have acted like a horny slut last night. But I’m too ashamed to even look at him.

Nope.

One look and he’ll know I’m in love with him. He’ll see how deep his rejection cut me. Again.

I yank on the doorknob, but it won’t budge. Too late, I realize Liam’s palm is flat against the door, keeping it closed. Blocking my escape from Humiliation Island.

“Move,” I demand, proud my voice comes out strong and steady even though I feel anything but.

“Not until we talk.”

I spin around so fast, he jumps back, but he’s quick and maneuvers himself in front of the door.

“Why are you doing this? Last night wasn’t humiliating enough? You need to rub my nose in your rejection a little more?”

“Bree, I’m sorry.”

“Not as sorry as I am.”

His hand slides under the strap of my backpack and he slides it off my shoulder, dropping it on the floor. Humiliated—again—and powerless, I can’t believe this shit.

Liam’s strong arms wrap around me, holding me close to his warm, strong body. The comfort I take from him only makes me angrier with myself.

“I don’t know where to start, Bree. I’m so sorry about last night.”

Backing away, I glare at him. “About what? Making me feel like a tramp?”

“Jesus Christ. I don’t think that. Bree, I love you. I never wanted to make you feel bad. I’m so sorry.”

His body was definitely attracted to me last night. But something about me, about who I am, obviously repels him. “I can’t do this anymore, Liam. I’m sorry. It’s too much.”

Because I’m a glutton for more blows to my ego, I have to know what it is about me that he finds so repulsive. Maybe I can work on it. “You keep using Vince as an excuse. Just be honest. What’s wrong with me?”

That has to be the most pitiful thing I’ve ever said.

Gentle, loving Liam disappears. Fierce Liam takes his place. His arms tighten around me and he spins us, pressing me to the door. My back hits the wood with a soft thump. I let out a startled gasp and meet his burning brown eyes.

“You want honesty, baby girl? Buckle up, because here comes a big dose of it.”

Startled by the change in his tone, I try to wriggle away from him, but he keeps me pinned to the door. His hands hold mine at my sides, his huge body enveloping my smaller one. He’s quick to wedge his knee between my legs, forcing them apart.

My heart thumps with excitement and a little bit of fear. The exhilarating kind. Like right before the drop on a roller coaster.

He brushes his lips against my ear. “You think I don’t want you? You’re all I fucking want, Bree. Everything I want.”

I gasp from his admission. “Then why—”

“No,” he says, placing one hand over my mouth. “Time you listen.” He waits to see if I’ll cooperate before continuing. “You’re right. You’re an adult now. If Vince has a problem with us, that’s too fucking bad. I’ll deal with him.”

Oh my God. Did he just say us?

He moves in closer, skimming his lips along my neck, gently pulling on my earlobe with his teeth. His next words are low and rough. “I’m sorry I couldn’t explain myself better last night. Your hot pussy in my lap scrambled my brain.”

I moan into his hand, loving dirty-talking Liam.

His eyes widen, taking in my response.

His thigh. Between my legs. Pressing just enough. Pleasure coils tight and hot inside me.

“Listen to me and hear what I’m saying before your fiery temper goes off. Can you do that? Nod once.”

Jesus Christ. I think I could come from just the friction of his leg and his low, demanding voice right now.

I nod.

“You have been through hell.”

I start to shake my head, but he stops me.

“No,” he says dragging the word out. “Listening, remember?”

When I don’t move, he continues.

“You need to feel safe and trust again. And I can give you that. I will give you that. What I cannot do is be your rebound guy, Bree. Once I have you, you’re mine and that’s it.”

Ohmygod.

“So as much as I wanted to fuck you on the couch last night—and trust me I did—I can’t do it without you understanding what it means to me. What it will mean for us.”

There it is again. Us.

“Okay,” he says, taking his hand away from my mouth. “Let me have it.”

Bree blinks and stares up at me. Her big blue eyes swimming with questions.

All the weight that had settled in my chest over the last few weeks disappears.