Beautifully Broken 3: Before We Fall

She stares at me, her eyes still wide. “And so you made my dream come true? You’re responsible for the death of a million roses now, but oh my god. It’s so beautiful.”

I stare at her, trying to ignore the awe in her eyes. “I came to see if you wanted to hang out for a while. For your birthday. I didn’t know you’d still be tied up.”

I glance at Brand and back at Jacey. She’s shaking her head. “Brand just followed me home. He was afraid I’d be upset over Gabe leaving. He keeps forgetting that I’m a big girl now.” She laughs, and Brand looks pained.

I know that he’s actually very aware that she’s a big girl now, but I don’t say that.

Instead, I quickly try to think of something that I can do with Jacey, somewhere to invite her that would seem like a date. I want to drive home to Brand that Jacey isn’t his.

I smile as I get an idea. “I thought I’d take my car out to the track to blow off some steam. Would you like to come?”

Jacey looks intrigued. “To a race track? Sure, that might be fun. I’ll try anything once. But only if I can drive too.”

I roll my eyes. “As if you could handle it.” I’m pretending that Brand isn’t even here, but Jacey turns around to kiss him on the cheek again.

“Thank you again, big bro,” she tells him. I swear to god I can see him flinch at that. I fight back a smirk. “I’ll talk to you later.” She turns back to me. “I’ve just got to run to the restroom and then I’ll be ready.”

She darts into the house, leaving me with Brand. He stares at me, his gaze sharp and pointed and I sigh.

I knew this was going to happen at some point, and it might as well be now. I turn to him.

“Do you have a problem with me?” I ask him. I might as well just get it out there. Brand stares back at me, and Jesus, the guy is enormous. I don’t give a shit though. I’m not intimidated by anyone.

“Why do you ask?” Brand asks, his lip twitching in amusement. I don’t find anything funny.

“Because I can tell that you do,” I say calmly. “I can’t figure out why, since Jacey told me that you guys are just friends, that you’re a big brother to her.”

I hit a nerve there, but I meant to. Something passes over his face, but he doesn’t acknowledge it.

“I’ve known her for a long time,” he says instead. “And I watch her back. Keep that in mind, friend.”

“We’re not friends,” I point out, like the a**hole that I am. “We only just met.”

Brand nods slowly. “True. But we’re not enemies either. Yet. I’d like to keep it that way. How about you?”

There’s not a threat in his voice, more like a promise. If I f**k with Jacey, I’ll be his enemy. I feel fairly confident that that isn’t a good thing to be.

“Noted.” I nod. “Let’s keep it that way.”

He stares at me for a minute before he walks away. He climbs into his truck and sits there, waiting for us to leave. It occurs to me that he doesn’t like the idea of leaving Jacey and I alone together. It’s a thought that makes me smirk again.

“What?” Jacey asks innocently as she emerges from her house and catches me grinning.

“Nothing,” I answer, as we walk to my car and I open her door. “Are you ready?”

She nods, tosses her purse on the floorboard and we drive away. Brand’s truck follows us for a while, and I can feel his eyes burning into the back of my neck, but the next time I look, he’s gone.

“So, how long have you been racing your car?” Jacey asks curiously.

I shrug. “I don’t know. Years. I like speed.”

“I know,” Jacey sighs. “Fast cars and fast women.”

I chuckle and rev the engine at the light. When the light turns green, I squeal my tires and take off from the line like a shot. When I glance over at Jacey, she’s relaxed in her seat, staring out the window.

“Nothing?” I ask her. “No reaction whatsoever?”

She giggles.

“Did you expect me to be terrified? Not gonna happen. I grew up with Gabe and Brand and they did some dumbass things with cars… usually when I was with them. I’m never scared… not if I trust who’s driving.”

I glance at her quickly before I look back at the road. “And you trust me? Silly girl.”

“I know.” She rolls her eyes. “I don’t know what I’m thinking.”

“Obviously,” I answer.

One of Sin’s songs comes on the radio, so I turn it up and we ride the rest of the way with Duncan’s steady drums thumping in our chests and Sin’s voice in our ears. It’s one of his slower songs, a dark love song, and when I glance over at Jacey she’s got her eyes closed and she’s moving her lips with the words.

My soul is black, black as night, but you love it anyway.

Your heart is cold, cold as ice, but it’s mine to take.

I’ll take it and crush it because that’s what I do,

And you’ll ask for more, because that’s you.

Something about the way the dark words move her tightens my chest. It’s like she understands what he’s saying because she’s been there. Only unlike the rest of us, she came out of it unscathed, still innocent… and to be honest, I envy her that.

As we arrive at the track and get out of the car, I mention the song to her.

“I’ve asked Sin a few times what this f**king song means. He always just shakes his head and tells me that if I don’t get it, I’ll never get it. He sees himself as a complex artist and music is his canvas.”

I meant it as a joking dig at my brother, but Jacey looks up at me in surprise.

“You don’t get that song? It’s easy, Dom. It’s about a coldhearted guy who uses people for what he wants—women, usually. He can’t feel anything. I guess I just thought Sin wrote the song about you.”

I stop in my tracks, staring at her. I can’t help it. “Do you think I’m coldhearted?”

I don’t know why I care, but I don’t like the thought.

But Jacey is already shaking her head. “No, I don’t. But I think you do. And I think that every day, you try to live up to your own idea of yourself. You’re not giving yourself enough credit and you sell yourself short on a daily basis.”

I feel my eyes widen and then I get a hold of myself, shaking my head and hiding my thoughts. “Whatever, Dr. Vincent. Maybe you should be a psychiatrist instead of a waitress.”

“Maybe I will.” She sniffs. “I’m pretty good at reading people. But whatever.” She turns around. “What do we do now? I’ve never been here before.”

“You’ve never been to the Autobahn?” Before my words are even out, Jacey is snorting.

“Dominic, my old car couldn’t even make it to work, let alone around a fancy country club racetrack.”

“Good point,” I mutter. “Thank god you have a new one now. We have to start out by signing in and grabbing a helmet and a tracksuit. Then they’ll look at my car really quick for an inspection and we’ll hit the track. There won’t be anyone else here because I’ve arranged for them to stay open late for us.”

Jacey nods and we set off for the clubhouse. Within fifteen minutes, we’re suited up and buckled in, waiting for a green flag.

“You do this a lot?” Jacey asks, her voice muffled a bit by her helmet.

I nod. “Whenever I’m in town. It’s a good stress reliever. To just come out here and open up the throttle? I can feel the stress melting away already.”

The green flag drops and I floor it.

My engine roars as I double-clutch shift, my foot vibrating with the power beneath it. Jacey is gripping her door, her eyes gleaming with excitement.

“How fast can we go?” she shouts.

“How fast do you want to go?” I answer, shifting into third.

We take off like a shot, weaving in and out of the curves of the road, hugging the asphalt like a second skin. Jacey laughs, her head thrown back against her headrest because of the speed.

“Faster,” she urges.

I oblige. There’s basically no one else out here, so we’ve got the track to ourselves. That makes it easier to open it up and just go.

Jacey is utterly unfazed by the speed, by the danger that speed represents… and honestly, that pleases the hell out of me. I don’t even know why. I just like that she’s so able to toss her cares away, enjoy the freedom speed brings… and trust me not to lose control.

It’s at least one area where her trust is not displaced. I very, very rarely lose control. Of anything.

She looks over at me, laughing. “I want to drive. Can I?”

I don’t give a moment’s thought to the fact that this car costs more than Jacey probably makes in several years as a waitress. I don’t even think about the fact that she’s never driven something so powerful. All I can think about is the fact that she wants to.

I pull over on the next straightaway. “You don’t have enough experience to take a curve, but you can drive this straightaway. You can totally open it up, if you want to. Just start to brake by that yellow sign, okay?”

She nods, we switch seats, and the tires are squealing almost before my seatbelt clicks.

I grin as we fly down the straightaway, because the girl has no fear.

Jacey shifts gears flawlessly, moving fluidly from one gear to the next like she’s been driving this way her whole life. As we pass the yellow sign, her speed flashes.

“One eighty!” she crows as we start to slow down.

We stop and she takes her helmet off, then tugs at mine.

She leans over and kisses me hard, the exhilaration of speed turning her on. I kiss her back, hard, because I know how that feels. I feel that way every single time I get behind the wheel here. When she finally pulls away, her eyes are shining.

“That was f**king awesome,” she announces. “Now I see what you love about it. Let’s do it again.”

I chuckle, but open my door. “We can’t. The club will be closing soon and we need to head back to the front. I’d better drive now, Andretti.” Jacey grumbles, but gives in.

As we drive back toward the club entrance, I glance over at her.

“So… about you and Brand.”

Jacey stares at me, her face closing up cautiously. “What about us?”

I steer around a curve fluidly before I continue. “You say that he’s like your brother. But it’s clear to anyone who watches you that he doesn’t feel the same. Not anymore. He probably did once upon a time, but you’ve grown up. And he’s fallen in love with you.”

Jacey swallows, then stares at the floor. And it’s completely evident that she knows.

“You knew,” I say simply, and ice floods my heart. I’d been holding out hope that she wasn’t coldhearted. “You knew and you’ve been using him, anyway.”

Her gaze snaps back up to mine, and her eyes are gleaming.

“No. It’s not like that. I haven’t wanted to believe that it’s true. But lately, I haven’t been able to ignore it. I know you’re right. But I don’t know what to do about it. I love him like my brother. He’s always been there for me, and I don’t want anything to change. And I don’t use him.”