At the Pleasure of the President (The Perfect Gentlemen 5)

“See,” Mad put in again. “I’m telling you, Vanessa was at Zack and Joy’s wedding. She’s been involved far longer than we ever imagined. Liz, Roman thinks he’s been doing the right thing. It’s not that he doesn’t care about you. He’s made himself sick trying to figure a way out of this. The problem is he doesn’t have a creative bone in his body and he always expects the worst. Zack…well, Zack has never been in love and he’s clueless how to handle it. It’s not fair to ask you to be the bigger person, but the truth is they need you to be. Please don’t leave.”

“I don’t think I’m allowed to right now.” She settled back in a huff, Mad’s speech rolling through her head. It wasn’t that she didn’t hear what he was saying, but how on earth could she ever believe in Zack again, especially when he so obviously hadn’t believed in her? If he changed his mind because he suddenly had enough evidence to prove she was innocent and he deigned to sleep with her again, she would merely be a convenience. Liz refused to let herself be used by him anymore.

“I think it would be a good idea for you to talk to Zack.” Roman stood. “I’m sorry you’re angry with me. I like to think you would do the same thing if you were in my position. There’s so much at stake here. I have to take it seriously because no one else will. Stay here. I’ll talk to Zack and have someone find Vanessa Jones.”

A second later, Roman’s phone dinged and Mad’s face lit up. “Here you go.”

Liz leaned in to see the image at the same time Roman did. Sure enough, there was a teenage Vanessa standing beside Joy, looking at her with something close to worship as she straightened the woman’s veil.

Holy shit.

Suddenly, the door slapped open, Zack tore inside, wearing the wildest look in his eyes. She’d rarely ever seen him truly emotional, but right now he seemed out of control. His gaze careened wildly around the room until it landed on her. With shaking hands, he reached for her. Before she could retreat, he hauled her into his arms and held her so tightly she could barely breathe.

“Elizabeth…” His whisper was harsh against her ear and his whole body trembled. “I thought I would walk in here and find your body. Oh my god. Roman, we need paramedics. Now. Mad find me a cup. Something. She has to throw up.”

“What?” She pushed out of his embrace. “I felt like I needed to a minute ago, but now I’m just mad.”

Zack barely allowed a few inches between them. He gripped her arms, and the tension rolled off him in waves. She saw tears in his eyes. Actual, real tears. They felled her like nothing else because she’d never imagined she would see him shed any for her.

“I don’t care how furious with me you are. I’m not letting you die, Elizabeth, you can’t… You’re my reason for living. I can’t be in this fucking world without you.”

“Zack, what in the world is going on?” Roman demanded.

“She’s been poisoned. The Russians have several operatives here and one of them put a toxin in her coffee, according to Mr. Harding,” Freddy said, walking into the room.

Liz glanced at Thomas, who had joined them, too, and was heading her direction. She’d never seen the Secret Service agent look so worried.

He flung off the sunglasses he often wore even indoors. “I’ll hold her, Mr. President. We shouldn’t wait for the EMTs. You have to get your fingers down her throat far enough to hit her gag reflex.”

He’d done that a couple of times before but not with his fingers.

Liz pushed against him. “I’m not sick.”

“It hasn’t hit you yet.” Zack had lifted her off her feet and dragged her toward the trash can Mad had found. “Paul said it took a while. When did you get that cup of coffee this morning? Who gave it to you?”

If she didn’t stop this, she would be forced to endure a few really nasty minutes for no good reason. “Are you talking about the latte one of the interns brought me? I never drank it. Zack, it’s still sitting on my desk, utterly cold by now. I made myself coffee in the residence this morning. I filled up my thermos and I haven’t touched anything else.”

Thomas backed off. “Before your run, I did see a thermos on her desk, sir.”

“And you didn’t drink a drop of the stuff the intern gave you?” Zack demanded, slowly setting her on her feet.

She knew she should still be mad, but he was so distraught and unlike himself that she couldn’t help but cup his face and soothe him.

He wasn’t a man worried that, if she died, answers about the vast global conspiracy against him would be gone. He was terrified for her. He looked as if his whole world might crumble, depending on her next few words. He’d also just learned that he’d been betrayed by his wife and her family. He had the weight of the free world on his shoulders. But it was the possibility of losing the woman he loved that had truly undone him.

“I didn’t, Zack. I didn’t touch it. Ever since you bought me that coffee from Finland I love so much, I haven’t touched the other stuff.”

He’d changed up the residence in the last few weeks, ensuring it was stocked with all of her favorite things, even going so far as to import coffee from Helsinki because she’d fallen in love with it when they’d gone to a conference there years before. She’d been touched that he’d remembered.

Zack let out a deep, shaky breath. “Thank god, baby. Thank god.”

“Mr. Harding is dead. I checked. He apparently ingested poison before we brought him in,” Thomas supplied as Zack threw his arms around her.

“He claimed it was something new,” Freddy explained, actually sounding excited. “I’ve heard a couple of covert groups have been working on a poison that allows the victim to seem perfectly normal until it activates a few hours later. Some of my contacts will have serious hard-ons to read that dude’s toxicology report.”

“Dead?” Liz wriggled out of Zack’s embrace because he seemed to be in control of himself now and they still had a million things to discuss.

Or did they? Maybe there was nothing to discuss at all. The simple fact that he hadn’t wanted her dead didn’t mean he’d believed her when he should have or that she should forgive him for what he’d put her through.

“Give us the room.” Zack stared at her as everyone else filed out. Even Thomas seemed to understand Zack needed to be alone with her now.

Once the door closed behind everyone else, Liz faced the man she’d thought she would spend the rest of her life with. “Don’t worry, Zack. I’m fine. I’ll have my office cleaned out by the end of the day. Gus can pick my things up from the residence.”

“Elizabeth, I—”

“No. Don’t. I understand why you investigated me. I really do, but I don’t think I can forgive you for using me. You knew you didn’t love me, knew you thought I was capable of betraying you, and you still had sex with me. Hell, you let me think you loved me.”

“I did,” he argued. “I do. I’ve loved you from the minute I saw you.”

“You don’t treat people you love this way.”

“I don’t know how to treat people I love because I never loved a woman before I loved you,” he said, moving into her space. “Please. I’m sorry. I know I’m asking a lot. Forgive me.”

She shook her head and backed away from him. She could not go easy on him, no matter how tempted she was. “It doesn’t matter. The next time I do something Roman thinks is suspicious, all this will happen again.”

He prowled closer. “The next time Roman so much as whispers even a suggestion you’re not the angel who saved me from a ridiculously lonely life, I’ll fire him.”

Liz retreated again. This time, her back hit the wall. Zack kept coming until his chest brushed against hers and she felt the heat of his body. “Zack…”

“Elizabeth.” He braced his hands on either side of her, caging her in, and dropping his forehead to hers. “I spent my entire life preparing for one role?

??president. I never wanted anything else until I saw you. No woman ever loved me before, not even my mother. I can count on one hand the number of times she spent more than an hour with me. We didn’t take family vacations. I didn’t have parents who taught me how to love. What they taught me was that everyone will tear me down if I let them, so I should be pre-emptive and beat them to it.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, Zack. But that doesn’t make what you did to me okay.”

“I know, but it’s the truth and the only reason I can give you for being so wrong. I’m asking you—begging you—to forgive me.” He leaned even closer, his hands roaming her as if he couldn’t quite stop himself. “I’ve felt so lost and trapped. The Russians…they played me perfectly. They knew exactly where I was most vulnerable. You.”

“But you weren’t. You readily believed everything they wanted you to because it was easy.” Liz said the words with conviction, even as it was getting hard not to weaken under Zack’s touch.

He’d been terrible to her, yes. But did that erase all his years of being so good to her?

“That’s not true. I resisted at first. I resisted a lot. But the evidence kept coming, and I didn’t know what to believe. I’m an incredibly smart man, but when it comes to relationships I’m truly dumb.” He took a shuddering breath. “I know this may make me seem even guiltier in your mind, but even when I thought you might be conspiring against me, I’d already planned to cover everything so I wouldn’t even have to pardon you. I was going to force you to marry me so you wouldn’t ever get into trouble again. When I suspected you might have betrayed me, all I thought about was the ways I could keep you.”

His words made her both melt and want to slap him.

“How could you even think I would betray you?” she asked, trying so hard to resist his nearness, but their chemistry was working its magic. She could feel his heartbeat, the way his body still shuddered from the fear of losing her. The reverence in his touch.

“I don’t know what I was thinking. Everyone’s lied to me, Elizabeth. Everyone. My in-laws. My wife. Even Maddox. I know I shouldn’t be angry, but I am. I’ll get over it, but all of that had me thinking that I couldn’t possibly have someone as true and wonderful as you seemed. You’ve been the reason I wake up in the morning for so long it actually made sense in my twisted head that your devotion wouldn’t be real. How fucked up is that?”