Odd Mom Out

And there she is. A medium-height, medium-build woman in a sober navy dress with sensible navy pumps. She has brown hair with just a few strands of gray and, unlike most of the women here, looks quite normal.

I approach her and introduce myself. “Hello, I’m Marta Zinsser,” I say, smiling warmly. “I have a daughter in fourth grade.”

“Oh.” Her lips barely curve; she looks at me and then past me. “I’ve a son in third. My son’s Hunter.”

It’s so loud that I lean toward her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t catch your name.”

“I didn’t say it.”

“Is it a secret?” I joke, feeling increasingly awkward.

She looks at me, doesn’t smile. “No. It’s not a secret. My name is Mary-Ann Lavick.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Mary-Ann.”

She just looks past me again. I force myself to keep smiling, although I’m smiling at nothing.

Uncomfortable heat rushes up from my collarbones past my neck to my face.

We stand there for another moment, not quite shoulder to shoulder, in painful silence while I try to figure out what I should say or do next.

Mary-Ann saves me the trouble. “There’s my friend,” she says bluntly. “I’m going to join her. Good-bye.”

She goes.

“Good-bye,” I say as she weaves—rather solidly—through the crowd of happy, beautiful ladies.

I’m back on my own again, so very glad I spent thirty-five dollars to come to this fabulous brunch party. This is exactly what I like to do with myself. Dress up, squeeze my feet into painfully high heels, and stand around with a fixed smile as though I’m a department store mannequin.

My hair’s the problem, I tell myself. I’m the only one wearing it up. Everyone else’s hair is down, all swingy and shiny. I shouldn’t have pinned up my hair. I was just trying to be a grown-up, and now I feel as if I’m one hundred years old. Old and weird.

Why am I wearing peach—because it is peach, not apricot!

Why am I here?

I’m not a country club mom. I don’t play golf. I don’t play bridge. And I don’t belong to the Junior League.

Why aren’t I wearing black, as I would have in New York?

Better yet, why aren’t I wearing my camo pants and flip-flops and a comfy T-shirt, because then I’d at least be myself?

All these women look so comfortable, and it’s not just hair and flawlessly applied makeup, it’s something else. They’re . . . fresh and scrubbed. Their skin glows.

Lana Parker spots me, nods, and almost smiles. I nod back, almost smiling, too. This is an interesting event. I feel vaguely like a diplomat at an embassy party. This house—villa—could be an embassy. It’d be perfect in Buenos Aires. Now we’re just waiting for the ambassador from Chile to arrive so we can sit down and eat.

“Marta . . .” A nearly familiar voice says my name.

I turn around to see Taylor Young. She’s got Eva’s watch in her hand. “I believe this belongs to you.”

“Yes, it’s Eva’s. Thank you so very much. My parents gave it to her for Christmas last year, and my father was very upset when he thought she’d lost it.”

“Nathan thought it looked like an expensive watch.”

I slide the watch into my purse. “Too expensive for a little girl,” I answer, “but you know how grandparents can be.”

“Mmmm, yes,” she says, her attention caught by Lana and another woman. She waves, smiles, and nods. “One second,” she mouths to them before turning back to me.

“Isn’t this just a marvelous thing the Belosis do for Points Elementary?” she adds, her hand sweeping around to include the house, the flowers, the waiters with champagne. “They open their house for us every year. Don’t know what the school will do when their youngest moves on to Chinook.”

I just shake my head. I can’t even begin to imagine.

“So have you been meeting people? Lana said you don’t know everyone yet.”

I think about my nice conversation with my new friend Mary-Ann Lavick and mention her name.

Taylor nods knowledgeably. “Oh, Mary-Ann is a jewel. She does so much for the school. Her husband’s a physicist, I believe, and very highly thought of by the Gates Foundation.”

“Really? And what does Dr. Lavick do?”

“Oh, I don’t think he’s a doctor. He’s just a physicist. Or something like that. But apparently it’s quite impressive work.”

“I see.” And I do. Apparently it’s important to be connected around here. If one’s not comfortable name-dropping, then one should at least be properly subservient to those in high places.

Lana is waving madly at Taylor. “Come here!” she shouts. “Hurry. You’ve got to hear this story.”

“You better go,” I urge. “Sounds like a great story.”

“You’re all right on your own?”

“I’m great. I’m having a ball.”

Taylor hurries away, rushing toward her friends, who throw their arms around her and hug and kiss, cheek to cheek, as though they hadn’t just spent last Saturday afternoon together in Taylor’s living room discussing the kindergarten disaster.

Suddenly, I miss Shey and Tiana all over again. I feel like such a dork here. So raw and rough around the edges.

But I remember my promise to Eva and my conversation with Shey. There are women here with whom I have things in common. I just need to find them.

I join a group not far from me, women who are animatedly discussing what appears to be a controversial topic. I casually join them, curious about their passionate discussion. Turns out they’re discussing the pros versus the cons of laser hair removal.

“I used to swear by it, too,” says one attractive brunette. “I thought it was the best thing since sliced bread. But then the hair grew back less than two years later.”

“They do say follow-up treatments will be necessary—”

“And it’s not as thick as it was before—”

“But you can’t laser with a tan, and the whole laser process takes months.”

Someone advocates a return to shaving, and there is a roar of disapproval. Not shaving. Maybe waxing—but oh no, not waxing, either, because one, you’ve got to wait for the hair to grow out, and two, there’s the problem of ingrow

n hairs. Everyone is in agreement now. Nothing worse than nasty ingrown hairs in the pubic area. Talk about a turnoff.

I’m really enjoying this conversation. It’s fascinating. And I do feel much closer with everyone, but there’s so much work at my office, and I feel guilty leaving Allie, Chris, and Robert to take care of advertising headaches while I learn about my neighbors’ preferences for personal grooming.

I find a waiter, hand off the barely touched mimosa, and am scooting to the front door when I bump back into Taylor and her crowd.

“Remember,” I hear Taylor telling the others, “first field trip it’s all us girls.”

“The A team,” one cheers.

“Only the A team,” another cheers, and they all giggle and raise their flutes and make a toast.

The A team, I repeat silently as I slip out the front door. Didn’t know they played that way here, but I shouldn’t be surprised. This is a stunning area of haves and have-nots. Someone’s bound to be part of the have-nots. Just didn’t know they had a team name.

Outside, the late morning sun shines on the broad, sweeping front steps and the line of luxury cars parked on the side of the half-circle driveway—Lexus, Lexus, Mercedes, BMW, Volvo, Saab, Porsche, Hummer, Mercedes, Infiniti, Range Rover.

And then there’s my car. My restored 1957 Ford truck.

Okay. So it’s a little like Sesame Street’s “one of these things doesn’t go with the others,” but I’m trying. I really am. I wouldn’t go to brunch as a peach for just anyone.

“You’re back early,” Allie says as I walk in through the studio’s open door.

At my desk, I kick off my heels and sit down. “It wasn’t the most comfortable place to be.”

“A little too rich for you?” Robert laughs.

“A lot,” I answer, rubbing my face and feeling exhausted. What a horrible way to spend your morning. I suppose if everyone there is your friend, and if you’ve nothing else to do, it’d be fun, but for the moms who work, long, leisurely brunches just don’t fit into the day. “I was a total fish out of water.”

“Did you give it enough time?” Allie persists.