Odd Mom Out

I know how we link one idea to another. I know how we deal with one insecurity by creating a dozen new insecurities.

We’re a consumer society, and we’re taught to consume.

We’re perfectionists, and we’re taught to strive for perfection.

We’re relentless in our pursuit of happiness, yet no one’s happy.

We have children but work so many hours that we never see them.

Shit. I know how it goes. I know because I work in an industry that sells, sells, sells. It’s my job to find the hook, too—locate the consumer’s tender spot (the jugular, anyone?) and dig in. Hold on.

I can do what I do because I know the rules and ignore the rules, but children don’t understand the big game and what it means and what it does.

But I do.

And Allie should.

“Marta.” Allie’s followed me to the front yard, where I stand facing a small tree of no visible importance. “Marta, I’m sorry. I really am—”

“It’s okay,” I interrupt, unable to bear much more of her apology. Allie is a throwback to Doris Day. She’s looking for her Rock Hudson (the nongay Rock), and she, like my mom, is a great believer in social standing.

“I wasn’t trying to show you disrespect,” Allie fumbles on. “I was trying to do something good, something that would make Eva feel better about herself.”

I hear Allie, but I can also hear the “party tip” in the book: Host the party of the year, it’s all or nothing, and absolutely don’t invite the freaks of your school.

My jaw tightens.

“I love her,” Allie says simply. “I just want her to fit in, feel like she matters. You know?”

I do know. And I want the same thing, but I want it on her terms, not on someone else’s.

“I understand.” I look at Allie and see she’s been crying. I take a deep breath, exhale. “But you do realize the book wasn’t really intended for kids Eva’s age, don’t you? It’s a book with the teen market in mind.”

She nods. “I know, but I wish I’d known some of this stuff before I went to high school, wish I’d had a chance to be popular, too.”

Monday, a week later, I come in from the studio, where I’ve just gone to fax a statement to a client who claimed they never received the September bill, and discover Eva scribbling furiously in a pretty, jewel-toned notebook with a matching jeweled pen.

I’ve got my laptop, as I’m planning on sitting on the couch with Eva and doing some work while she reads, but the moment she sees me, she snaps her book shut and shoves the notebook, book, and pen beneath a cushion.

I pretend I don’t notice that she’s shoved the book and notebook under the pillow and sit next to her. Although I want to talk to her about the book, want very much to discuss the concept of popularity, I don’t want to create tension right now. There’s so much for me to do, so many accounts and proposals and big meetings in the next month, that I don’t need friction, not tonight, and frankly, neither does Eva.

But after she goes to bed, I pull out the book and notebook from their hiding spot. Cautiously I open the notebook, feeling vaguely disloyal, like a Peeping Tom, but I’m curious about what she’s been writing, curious what she’s been recording so diligently.

She’s created a title page, and the heading says, “Project Me.”

I half smile and turn the page and read the notes she’s making.

1. Always Be Neat and Clean

• Practice proper hygiene.

• Feel good about your body.

• Get in shape.

2. Dress Well

• Wear cute clothes that fit your body.

• Keep up with the latest trends.

• If you can afford it, buy designer clothes, with names that people will recognize (i.e., Juicy, Prada, Gucci, etc.).

• Wear black clothing. It makes you feel slimmer.

• No dress-down days allowed. No sweats or hoodies.

• Accessories are a must.

• Makeup is a must. But go light, be natural.

3. Get a Nice Big Bag to Carry Your Essentials

• Be prepared to spend some money.

• A nice bag makes a statement.

• Always carry your MP3 player or iPod. Have great music available. Be knowledgeable about music and trends.

4. Make Conversation with the Popular Girls

• Get involved. Popular girls are well-rounded.

• Give everyone a chance to talk. Don’t just talk about yourself.

• Ask about other people’s day.

5. Host Big Parties or Sleepovers

• Host the party of the year. It’s got to be a blowout. All or nothing. Obviously, don’t invite the unpopular kids at your school.

I stop reading. I have to stop reading.

So that’s where she got the idea for big parties. And that’s why she’s wearing more and more black. And this is the reason she wanted one of my Coach purses.

I feel my heart sink. It’s all part of her popularity plan, along with getting a nice purse, a cell phone, an iPod, and cool clot

hes.

Shaken, I flip the notebook closed. I have to talk to Eva, and soon, but tomorrow’s the big day, the day we make our presentation to the Freedom Bike Group, and until that’s over, I can’t take on one more thing.

The next day, Chris and I are in downtown Seattle, meeting the Freedom Bike Group in a hotel conference room. We’re halfway through our presentation, having spent the last hour going over the proposal, including the budget and numbers. Now we’re getting to the fun stuff, the part where we show that we’re not only affordable, but brilliant.

Chris has just finished setting up the screen and DVD player and I’m just about to introduce Robert’s commercial when my phone vibrates inside my briefcase. It’s soft enough that I can hear it, but hopefully no one else has.

As the lights darken, my phone begins vibrating again. I reach into my briefcase and attempt to shut it off but can’t quite find the right button. Then I glance at the screen. It’s the school calling. It’s their third call. I must have missed the earlier ones.

I slide the phone into my pocket and stand against the wall to allow the Freedom executives better viewing. I love this short. It’s not as polished as a real commercial would be, but the rawness adds to the 1970s retro feel.

The spot comes to an end. Chris raises the lights. I go to my computer screen, touch a button, and start the PowerPoint presentation of the concept. There will be a total of five or six television ads, advertisements we could also get uploaded onto various Internet sites. And while each ad will feature different genders and ethnicities, it’s actually about being inclusive. Much like the Gap ads that featured diversity, our ads recognize the commonalities. We’re all people, we’re part of this thing called life. And we all have certain needs—truth, opportunity, hope, freedom.

Clicking on some recent marketing graphs, I demonstrate the changing market. “We in manufacturing and retailing know that in category after category, premium entries are growing, low-priced goods are stealing shares, and the middle is shrinking. Today’s consumers want premium products that offer tangible and emotional value, which is why each of our ads focuses on the tangible—owning a classic, luxury motorcycle—and the intangible emotional rewards from riding—peace, pleasure, comfort, satisfaction.”