Best Friends Don't Kiss

“Yeah,” Kline Brooks chimes in with a knowing smile. “It worked so well that you ended up marrying her.”

“So, maybe I’m a little slow on the uptake, but what on earth does a book club have to do with getting laid?” I can’t stop myself from asking, and Theo Cruz bursts into laughter.

“Cap had us reading romance novels so he could use the ideas from the books to win over his now-wife.”

“My gorgeous Ruby,” Cap adds with a soft smile. “The best fucking woman on the planet.”

“Wait…you guys are being serious?” Trev questions, a smile already making itself known on his face. “This isn’t a joke?”

“No,” Wes grumbles. “And let the record show, it was the worst experience of my life.”

“You’re so full of shit,” Thatch retorts. “You loved it.”

Wes rolls his eyes. “I loved our poker nights. Not that fucking book club.”

“Speaking of poker nights,” Thatch comments and looks pointedly at Kline. “You know you’re not allowed to cancel on poker night. Ever. Yet you have for the past two weeks. What’s the story, Klinehole?”

“Oh, I don’t know. My job. My wife. My girls. You know, important life shit.”

“Pfft. Yeah, right, Special K. Pretty sure you were just getting tired of ole Thatcher here handing your ass to you every week.”

“Or maybe he was getting tired of hearing ole Thatcher talk in third person like an idiot,” Harrison suggests, and Thatch scratches the side of his face with his middle finger.

“Shut up, Harry. I think we all know you wouldn’t have been able to win the heart of the Raquel Weaver without the knowledge you gained from book club.”

“It still boggles my mind that he’s married to her,” Cap mutters. “Like, of all the fucking people in the world, one of Hollywood’s most famous actresses chose this schmuck.”

“What can I say? I got real fucking lucky.” Harrison just shrugs, laughs, and takes a sip from his bourbon.

When my phone vibrates in my suit pocket again and again and again, I find myself tuning out the conversation and pulling out my phone to find several more texts from Ava.

The first message? Check out these guys and tell me what you think of them. They seem nice, right?

Six screenshots of TapNext profiles of guys with names like Brian and Frank and Abe follow.

Frankie boy is shirtless in his profile pic, Abe’s bio talks about how much he loves his cat, and Brian, well, fuck…his goddamn collar is popped, and he spends three paragraphs talking about his boat. Is she serious when she says she thinks they look nice?Me: Do you really want to date a guy named Brian?She responds right away.Ava: What’s wrong with the name Brian?Me: It’s a boring name, Ace. Not to mention, all the Brians I’ve ever known have been the friend in the group that no one really wants to be friends with. There’s got to be some sort of reason for that. Plus, he’s crazy about boats, and you won’t even go in the water at your parents’ lake house.Ava: You know that’s because I don’t like to feel the weird, squishy ground between my toes when I’m in the water. Boats are a totally different story.Ha. She’s right, I guess. I type another message quickly.Me: You’re right. The problem with boats is motion sickness.She gets motion sickness if she even glances at her phone on the subway.Ava: It doesn’t matter. I’ve already scheduled a date with Brian. Tomorrow.I sigh. Fucking Brian the Boat-Lover. I don’t even have to meet the guy to know Ava is too good for him.

“Everything okay, bud?” Thatch asks, and I glance up to find everyone at the table staring at me.

“Yeah.” I swallow, tucking my phone into my pocket and screwing my face back into my best professional smile.

“You sure?” His smirk quirks up the corners of his mouth. “Because that was a lot of sighs for one man to release in the span of two minutes.”

“It’s nothing, really,” I assure everyone. Ava and her antics are nothing new in my life.

“Luke, my man, I’ve seen that look a hundred times before, and it almost always revolves around lady troubles. Possibly a little lovers’ quarrel?”

I laugh outright. “It’s nothing like that. Just some questionable decisions by my best friend Ava.”

“His best friend who might as well be his girlfriend,” Trevor adds, and I roll my eyes.

“Come on, man, not this song again. Ava and I have been friends since college. Just friends. That’s it. Just like you and me.”

“Uh-huh. Sure. You and Ava are not friends like you and I are friends, bro.” Trev grins. “I’ve watched you walk away from at least a hundred hot-as-hell women over the course of our friendship, and every time, it was because you were too worried about Ava.”

I wish I could refute his claim, but honestly, there have been a lot of women over the years I’ve ignored because I was preoccupied with something Ava-related. But that’s just what being a good friend is. Right?