Play (Stage Dive 2)

“It’s not. If it weren’t for her being sick, there’s no way you’d be asking me this right now.”

“But–”

“I’m sorry. No.”

“Anne …”

I could see the exact moment he realized he wasn’t going to talk me into it. That he wasn’t going to get his way. His jaw hardened and he dropped my hand. In one smooth move he jumped off the coffee table and headed for the door. Any possible words stuck in my throat, choking me.

There he went. Going, going, gone.

He was gone.

Every eye in the room was on me. David followed Mal, and Ev appeared at my elbow. They really did have this shit down by now, managing drama the Stage Dive way. Jimmy and Ben stopped Adrian from following David and Mal. The manager gave me a look strongly encouraging me to curl up and die. I was so sick of this.

Something broke inside. The pain was excruciating.

It was really best just to get this dealt with.

Lori’s look was hesitant, sad. “Oh, Anne …”

“I’m sorry,” I said, and then I got the f**k out of there.

***

Mal didn’t return to our hotel room that night. There was no message from him the next day either. I went home.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

I spent the remaining days of my vacation spring cleaning the apartment. Lizzy and Lauren took turns sitting on the love seat, watching me go berserk. Berserk being their word, not mine. I was fully functioning and fine given my heartbroken status. No way had I crawled into bed like Mom and refused to come out. I was stronger than that and my apartment was very, very clean.

“Look at that bowl,” I said, gesturing toward the bathroom with my pink, rubber-gloved hand and toilet brush. “You could eat out of it.”

“Babe, all power to you, but I am not inspecting your toilet.” Lauren crossed her legs, swung her foot back and forth.

“No shit, it’s sparkling.”

“I believe you.”

The front door opened and Lizzy walked in. “She still at it?”

Yes, during particularly unlucky times, they’d both be there, commenting and getting in my face. So helpful. Friends and family were the worst. They were also the best, seeing me through this temporary insanity.

“Yes, she is. Please knock before you come in uninvited,” I said.

Mal would be pissed. He hated people just waltzing in. Not that he would ever be here again or cared, so whatever. Maybe I should scrub the kitchen one more time. Going back to work tomorrow would be good. It’d help keep me busy. Reece had dropped off a couple of new bottles of environmental all-surfaces cleanser and a scrubbing brush for me yesterday (I’d worn my old one out.). He got my drive to keep busy right now. Or, if he didn’t get it, he at least had the sense to stay out of my way and not mention any famous drummers.

“And you didn’t close the door properly, Lizzy.”

My sister looked at me over the top of her sunglasses. “That’s because you have another guest about to arrive. Hopefully you’ll be nicer to this one.”

“I’m nice to everyone.”

Lauren winced. “No. Not really. You’re kind of pretty f**king painful lately. But we love you and we get that you’re hurting, so here we are.”

My frown did feel permanently pressed into my face. Perhaps they had a point. It might be time to move on. If I’d only been with him a week, then mourning him for half a week was probably about right. Too bad my heart disagreed.

“Helllooooo!” cried Ev, appearing around the door frame. “Yeah, okay. Wow, Liz. She needs help.”

“Told you,” said Lauren, standing up to give Ev a hug.

“Um, Anne?” Ev approached me with extreme caution, slowly slipping out of her woolen jacket. “Take the gloves off and go put on clothes that don’t have holes in them. You might want to shower first, wash your hair, maybe? Wouldn’t that be nice?”

“I’ve been cleaning,” I explained, holding the brush up as evidence. “You don’t wear good clothes to clean in.”

Lizzy turned me in the direction of the bathroom. “About the time you’re waving a toilet brush around exclaiming about the beauty of your bowl, it’s probably time to stop and rethink your life.”

“Go back in there and clean you this time,” directed Lauren. “I’ll find you some clothes.”

“Wait.” I turned back to Ev. “Why are you here? Why aren’t you on tour?”

She grimaced. “The tour’s been cancelled. Put off until next year. It’s for the best. They’re saying Lori only has a couple of days left so the guys have all gone to Coeur d’Alene.”

Oh, god. Poor Mal. My ribs squeezed breathtakingly tight.

“Why aren’t you with them?” I asked.

“I’m flying there this afternoon.” She spoke slowly, carefully. “But I wanted to be here for your intervention. And to ask if maybe you wanted to come with me.”

I just stared at her blankly.

“I think he would really appreciate you being there, Anne. I know things got left in a bad place between you two. But I think he could really do with your support right now. Lori would probably like to say good-bye.”

“I turned down her son’s proposal of marriage, so I highly doubt that.”

Ev gave a one-shoulder shrug. “She was sad, but … I don’t think she was mad at you exactly.”

“It doesn’t matter anyway. I can’t go.” I wandered into the bathroom, put away the toilet brush, and peeled off the rubber gloves. Ev, Lauren, and Lizzy huddled in the doorway, watching me. I washed my hands, soaping them up super well. “Look, guys, I appreciate the intervention, not that I believe I needed it. I was just keeping busy before I had to go back to work.”

“Sure you were,” said Lizzy. “That’s why you scoured the ceiling.”

“It was dusty.”

“Focus, ladies.” Lauren clicked her tongue. “Anne, you need to go with Ev. Talk to him.”

I dried my hands with a towel. The girl in the mirror was a bit of a mess, hair lank and skin greasy. They were right there, I had looked better.

“You two were good together,” said Ev. “He got carried away with the wedding idea, but I think he gets that now.”

“Oh, I don’t know. I don’t think there’s so many good ways to take someone refusing to marry you.” I huffed out a laugh. “Not sure there’s any coming back from that one. Thanks for the thought, Ev. But he doesn’t want me there.”