Of all the times.
My phone vibrated again, and I practically jumped at it to check the message.
“Can’t you make an exception?”
My mouth twitched. “No.”
I put the phone down, but after a pause, I picked it up again. “Anyway, I’m retiring.”
“So soon?” She messaged back quickly.
I glanced back to my desk, where I had my laptop, and a bunch of books open so I could work, then back to my phone. I didn’t debate for long before I wrote out another message. She kept messaging back, and before I knew it, we’d started up a real conversation. When I did realize, I wanted to slap myself again.
Why am I doing this to myself?
I stared at her last message for the longest time. She wanted to know what was going on with me. I was debating whether or not to tell her. After last night, I wasn’t even sure that I could be calm and cool around her, so the idea I had in my mind was ridiculous. But, I wouldn’t mind spending more time with Sara, and I was not going to be getting any more work done.
“Let me take you out for a drink,” I messaged. “And I’ll explain everything.”
My heart thumped when I looked at what I’d written, but I still hit send. I got a reply back almost immediately.
Sara agreed.
Fuck.
I set my phone down and jumped up, only to remember to text her where we should meet. After I got that sorted out, I got up and went to have a shower and get changed. Twenty minutes later, I was getting dressed, then rushing out of my room.
Sara was already waiting for me when I arrived at the agreed spot. I’d been rushing, but I slowed down when I saw her. She was in another dress, knee length with long sleeves and flats, her hair falling around her shoulders. She had a purse thrown over her shoulder, her head down as she played with her fingers. She would occasionally look up and glance around, and once I got close enough, she noticed me. Her body straightened out, and she sent an awkward smile my way.
“Hey,” she murmured.
“Should we go?” I said, acting calm even though at that moment, I was anything but calm.
She nodded, and we made our way off campus. There were more people around than usual since it was a Saturday, but I didn’t see anyone I knew on our way out, which was good. My roommates didn’t know about the whole Sext line thing. I had gone to great pains to make sure it wouldn’t become school gossip and was ready to abandon it if that happened.
Lucky for me, I didn’t have to wait long. If Dad was going to pay me back, then this was fine.
It was the middle of the day, and Sara wasn’t 21, so we didn’t go to a bar. Instead, I led us to a café not too far from the school. We stood in line to give our orders, then I paid, and we found a table to sit where we wouldn’t be around too many people. The place wasn’t too crowded, thankfully.
After a moment of nothing but awkward silence, while we sipped our coffees and nibbled on the pastries, Sara cleared her throat and spoke.
“So, you wanted to explain to me about… why you’re quitting?”
Her cheeks were a little pink, and she wouldn’t look right at me, but I thought it was cute. I didn’t allow myself to smile.
“Yeah,” I murmured. “I mostly just did it because I needed money. I’m working to pay my tuition, it’s my last year, and I found myself with zero funds. I found a part-time job, but the pay wasn’t good enough, so it just started.”
I grimaced at the pathetic explanation. Sara had even managed to look right at me, eyebrows arched, like she didn’t understand. Thinking back, I can’t remember why I thought the whole male escort thing had ever been a good idea in the first place. I needed money fast, and I was desperate. I couldn’t get it through other means like stealing and gambling, but the Sext Me line was okay, I could handle it. I just started it up one day, didn’t even think someone would find it when I got my first message, and then got paid. I kept it up for weeks until Dad’s call. If Sara hadn't messaged me before I decided to stop, I would have just said no.
Of course, I was very happy that I decided to meet her last night.
“You did this because you were short of money?” She asked with a frown. “Couldn’t you have found other ways to get the funds? I don’t know, like borrowing loans or something?”
I sighed and took a sip of my drink. “It’s not that easy. The problems aren’t that I didn’t have money before. I lent it to my dad, and I thought he would pay it back. Only he’s always getting into trouble, and he dragged me into it this time. He gambled the money I lent him and lost everything. Getting the kind of loan,I need isn’t something so easy either, you know?”