She mumbled, “Because I just want to see that you’re okay. You just sound confused right now.”
“Okay.”
And with that, I hung up. She was right; I was confused about so many things. On too many levels. I celebrated my birthday with her and a bottle of Chardonnay. I thought that the older I got, the wiser I was supposed to be, not the complete opposite. I felt as if I had my head screwed on more when I was eighteen rather than now. Back then everything was simple from graduating high school to getting my diploma.
I nearly dropped my phone the moment I turned around and saw that Chad was standing next to me.
“Ivy,” he said quietly. He wasn’t the clean shaven guy that I first met. He was wearing a dark-blue suit with a matching light blue shirt and gray tie. He looked hot, even with his beard that was neatly shaven. I didn’t know what to say to him. I found myself speechless, not only because he looked hot even with his hair slightly longer. But because I wasn’t expecting him to be standing by my side.
“Sorry I frightened you.” he said as he picked up my phone. I just stood, frozen in time. Trying to think of all the things that I wanted to say to him.
Nothing.
My mind was a complete blank as I stood next to him and he handed me back my phone.
“They called,” he pointed to the preschool. “They wanted to make the meeting twenty minutes later, and you didn’t pick up your phone, so I drove down here. I figured that you would be on time.”
“Where’s Joshua?”
He nodded, “With Olivia. I thought that we should just focus on getting Hazel in the preschool, if that’s okay with you. Olivia’s leaving. She’s moving to New York.”
“Oh.”
He surprised me with his comment, and I wanted to ask him how he was feeling about that. But I could tell by the way his green eyes turned dark that he wasn’t happy about the words he just spat out.
“Anyway, I came to see if Hazel had a chance. If I could do some good after the mess that I’ve caused then at least I’ll sleep better at night. How’s she doing?”
I looked in the car and saw that she was looking up at Chad and she had a big grin on her face. I knew that they had connected when they spent time together. She had been having a couple of tantrums lately, and Willow and mom had said that it was probably because of the negative energy I’d been having lately. Maybe they were right. Who knew.
He smiled at Hazel and said, “Do you mind if I get her out of the car?”
I shook my head and then watched as he took her out. She was so excited to see him. I realized that she wasn’t feeding off the negative energy that I had as a result of our breakup. She missed him, probably just as much as I did. She was clapping her hands and stroking his face.
“Hey, Hazel. You okay?”
He smiled at her, and she nodded as she put her little fingers around his neck. She did miss him probably just as much as her mom did. Maybe I should give him another chance? Chad had more good qualities than he had bad ones. No one was perfect; I should know because deep down I felt that I was far from it at the best of times.
Chapter Thirteen
Chad
The meeting at the preschool went like a dream. They offered Hazel a place on the spot. There was a bit of an awkward moment when they asked about her brother. I told them the truth that Joshua was my nephew and I was using unorthodox methods just to get him in the preschool. It didn’t go against me, and the principal laughed and said, “Believe me, you wouldn’t be the first. Let alone the last. I could tell you some stories about some of the things parents do to get their kids in this preschool.”
Ivy and I exchanged a little grin. A secret one that only we knew about, and it gave me the comfort of hope. Something that I didn’t even think was possible until now. I didn’t want to come; I thought that after she had been ignoring me for weeks, I had completely blown it and the idea of us being together was nothing but a distant dream. Dan said t I should give Ivy time and at that moment that’s all I had. But then I got busy with my little project which has now grown into a big one. I had little time, but it didn’t mean that I didn’t stop thinking about Ivy.
“Do you want a latte?” I asked as she sat down at a table in Starbucks. She agreed to have a coffee with me, and I ended up suggesting the one coffee store that I hated like the plague.
She nodded, “You haven’t forgotten?”
I sighed, thinking that we had only been together for three months, but to me it felt like a fucking lifetime considering I’d never been in a relationship before Ivy and Hazel came into my life.
“No,” I said under my breath as I smiled at Hazel. The realization that I didn’t just miss Ivy but Hazel, too hit home the moment I saw her smiling up at me in the car.
I went to the cashier and ordered a muffin for all of us, and I wanted a sandwich, too. It was getting to lunch time and I hadn’t eaten all day. I’d skipped breakfast because I was so nervous about meeting Ivy today. I thought that she would scream at me and tell me that she didn’t want to see me again. The same thing that she’d done when I called and she picked up the phone. She did it again when I turned up at her house. She had pushed me away and it allowed me to focus on more important things. Such as Joshua moving away and the idea that I wouldn’t be looking after him nearly every day. That cut like a knife. I could see that Brent wanted to make it work and the reality that I wasn’t Joshua’s dad became my reality. I thought about re-decorating his room. Making it the study that it was before I came up with this whole charade.
I grabbed the drinks and muffin and headed to her table. She smiled up at me. It wasn’t a smile that said that she’d forgiven me. But it was a start.
“Thanks. I didn’t eat this morning,” she beamed as she took the muffin and Hazel was sitting up in her high-chair stretching out for the muffin. I knew not only did Hazel have an obsession with chocolate, but Ivy did, too.
“I didn’t know whether to. I know that you used to say that chocolate is the devil in disguise.”
She stopped eating and said, “You remember that?”
I nodded as I left the table and she put down the muffin as I went to the rest of the coffees. I needed one to keep me up. I was exhausted, I’d hardly slept the last couple of weeks.
“Chad, do you have an interview?” she asked as I sat back down.
I laughed, “No. I just wanted to make an impression today. So, I went out and bought a suit.”
“You’re kidding?”
I shook my head, “Nope.”
Then we were back to the awkward silence, but then Hazel broke it as she kept repeating the words, “Choco,” as she continued to dig into her muffin.
“Well, I know where she gets that from,” Ivy smiled as her eyes darted from Hazel to mine. I couldn’t help but stare at Ivy. The hunger that I felt as I came in surpassed as I looked at her. The face that I used to see most mornings was still the same, but there was a sadness about her. I didn’t know if I was the cause of it, or if something else was going on in her life. I hated the idea that I had made her feel sad, then again there was nothing good that would come out of what I did. Like an idiot, I thought that I would tell her the truth and the one time that I did decide to do it, she had found out before I’d even had a chance to explain myself.
“I cooked dinner for you that night. I thought that you would be so impressed by my culinary skills that you would forgive me,” I shrugged before I picked up my coffee.
“So, you wanted to tell me?”
I nodded, “I did, but then I never got the chance to do it. Olivia and mom got there before I did.”
She sighed, “Maybe I should have given you a chance to explain back then, but I was hurting so badly that I couldn’t see the woods for the trees. I hated my job. Being back in town and everything. You came along, and things just seemed to fit nicely. But the moment I found out I went back to hating my job and being back in town.”