“Good point.” Despite being surrounded by the Beasts and the Wolf brothers, Deke’s completely at ease, and he hasn’t seemed bothered at all by Megan and her men. “You are a clever woman, Tara Jordan.”
Her smile gets bigger. “Thanks. Now I just have to get rid of him.”
I choke on an unexpected laugh. “Are you sure you want to?” Deke’s damn good looking. If I weren’t already preoccupied and semi-claimed by a hot set of twins, I might be tempted myself.
“He has a very specific purpose, which is nearly concluded. I am so not getting tangled up in that … biker lifestyle.” She waves a hand in the air to simultaneously encompass and dismiss all “that.”
“And you explained his limited purpose to him ahead of time?”
Her eyes drop. “Not exactly. I told him I needed a date for the evening, someone open-minded and not easily intimidated. And he just smiled and said, ‘I’m your man, darlin’.’”
She gives a little shiver, and I give her a nudge. “Come on. You know you want to take him for a spin before you let him go. Kick his tires. See if he’s a good ride…”
Tara giggles and doesn’t deny it, but then shakes her head slowly. “I don’t want to give him ideas.”
“Isn’t freedom supposed to be the whole biker ethos? Freedom and brotherhood? Seems pretty unlikely he’d be bothered by you wanting to go your own way.”
“Hmm, you’re right.” She purses her lips, regarding Deke thoughtfully. “I’ve just been influenced by your and Megan’s experiences, with men meeting you and then immediately getting all possessive. After my crap luck with dating, I’m not getting tied down to anyone. No matter how hot he is.”
“I don’t blame you. You can just have fun for a while.” I shoot another glance at Deke. “And he does look like he’d be fun.”
Tara smirks. “You bad girl, leading me astray.”
“Hey, you only live once.” I grin at her as Megan brings us our brownies. “Here’s to the nutty and the nut-free transcending their differences and bonding over the true religion of chocolate.”
“Amen, sister,” Tara says with a laugh. Megan joins us after delivering more brownies, and before long she has me laughing so hard I forget to eat my brownie. Life is good.
Cody gives Megan a quick kiss as he passes, and it reminds me of when he picked her up at the sushi restaurant. “I saw some PDA the other day. Are you guys going public finally?”
Megan bites her lip and nods. “I’m nervous about it, but the guys aren’t. We’re not making a big announcement or anything; we’re just going to stop pretending.”
Tara takes one of her hands, I grab the other, and we squeeze. No matter what happens, we’ll have her back.
28
Dreamless
Zoe
When it’s time to go, I’m still riding the happy glow of the evening. Even listening to Lucas check in with the security team can’t dim it altogether. “Thanks,” I say when we’re in the car. “That was nice.”
The brothers look at me, then each other. “Yeah,” Lucas says. “It was.” There’s more that he’s not saying — I can feel it — but I just don’t care right now. I want to stay in my happy place a little while longer.
I’m startled when Alex, who’s sitting in back with me, takes my hand. He doesn’t say anything, or do anything else, just links his fingers through mine. All the jagged edges of awareness that were clustering at the perimeter of my consciousness smooth out again, and the sense of well-being I had earlier returns, stronger than ever.
I’m happy, in this moment, right down to my bones. So I can’t help leaning my head on Alex’s shoulder and closing my eyes to savor the sensation. Maybe Lucas will get mad at us, but again, I can’t bring myself to care.
He doesn’t say a word, though, and the miles melt away until we’re back at my apartment. Once I’m inside, the brothers go outside to confer about something. I get ready for bed, feeling strangely unsettled as my happy buzz fades slowly away.
The door opens and closes again. “It’s Lucas,” he says, as the brothers always do if they come in when I’m where I can’t see them. There’s no need to answer, so I don’t, just finish brushing my teeth and go out to the kitchen to check the coffeemaker.
Lucas seems … off. He’s fidgeting with his phone, picking it up and setting it down again. He’s not the fidgety type. Something makes me go to him. “Are you all right?”
He looks at me, and his eyes are unhappy, but he doesn’t say anything. “Is something going on? With the … situation?”
After a moment’s hesitation, he shakes his head, which I take to mean something is going on but that’s not what’s bothering him. I turn the last hour over in my mind, and my memory ricochets off the moment with Alex in the car.
Maybe that’s it. I cuddled with his brother but not him, and he can’t ask for equal treatment without being unprofessional. “Do you want a hug?” I say, adding hastily, “I’m not … I’m not trying to tease you.”
His eyes search my face, and then he opens his arms and I go into them. He tucks me close, and it feels so good to just stand there with him, soaking up his warmth, his strength, his solidity. After a few long moments, I say, “If you …” I have to swallow and start again. “If you wanted, maybe, to hold me … until I fall asleep … I’d like that.”
At first he doesn’t respond, and I’m sure he’ll say no. Then he presses his lips to my hair, says “Okay,” and lets me go. Five minutes later, he joins me in the bedroom, where I’m sitting up reading again.
Without a word, Lucas gets in on the other side of the bed. I turn out the light, scoot down and turn to him, and he puts his arm around me so I’m up against his side, my head on his chest, my arm on his stomach, my leg draped over his. I breathe in his scent, his fingers trace lazy circles on my skin, and once again I drop into a deep, dreamless sleep.
> 29
Armor Around My Heart
Zoe
When I wake in the morning, he’s still there. My eyes drift open, taking in the sunlight slanting over the wall at the same time as I register the warm body against mine. Oh. Oh.
I haven’t done this before, woken up with one of them. After that first night, they were both up before me. It’s so good, lying here with him, that it throws me into turmoil.
It feels right when I’m holding Alex, and when I’m holding Lucas. Could it ever feel this right to wake up with both of them? For the first time, lying here in the soft sleepy morning, my worry isn’t about them wanting to control me. I’m suddenly afraid I could fall for the Wolf brothers … and get my heart utterly broken.
Last night notwithstanding, they’re not Brock and Cody, and I have no idea what they think of Megan and the Beasts’ arrangement, let alone the possibility of the three of us having more than fun. They’ve given no indication of wanting more than sex, and neither did I when I told them it was over.
Our little games are just that, games. Soon — I hope — they won’t be guarding me anymore, and then they’ll fuck my brains out but good. And that will be that.
Closing my eyes, I try to make myself believe it. That will be that. We’ll go our separate ways, and I won’t get too attached to them, or miss them when they’re gone. And who knows, maybe I’ll keep them both as friends with benefits.
That thought cheers me a tiny bit, and I shift against Lucas. Only a little, but he must have been lying awake waiting for me, because he rolls me onto my back so he’s above me, his cheeks rough with stubble, his silver-blue eyes so beautiful in the pale light.