“Can I talk to you?”
“Yeah, what’s going on?”
“Megan’s fine. It’s just … can I buy you a coffee?”
“Yeah, of course.” The wave of panic I’d felt at Eric’s unexpected appearance passes, but I’m still concerned about why he wants to talk to me. He looks serious and uncomfortable, not his usual easygoing self.
We make awkward small talk about our finals as we head over to BFOC, which is the closest spot serving coffee at this hour. The place isn’t very crowded tonight. People who have tests tomorrow are probably home studying, and those who are done are most likely partying at places that serve alcohol.
I was about to text Aidan, but he’s probably still on stage, and I don’t expect to be long with Eric, so I decide that can wait.
Eric and I get settled in a booth by the front window and I wait for him to take a few sips of his drink. Megan told me he’s been acting weird. It looks like I might be about to find out what’s going on.
Chapter 28
Aidan
I check my phone as soon as our set is done, but there are no messages from Amber. She’s got to be done with her final by now, and I hope it’s not a bad sign about how the test went that she hasn’t been in touch.
Thinking about the “stress relief” I promised her, I decide to cut out early, rather than waiting for the other guys. I think if I make my exit quickly enough, I can slip away, but that doesn’t work out.
There’s already a fan at the back door, just one, a girl I’ve seen at other shows.
“Aidan, great show!” she says.
“Thanks. Thanks for coming out,” I say. She’s about my age, pretty. I remember her telling me she goes to school here too. I don’t see her looking for an autograph, so I start to move by her, but she grabs my arm.
“What’s your rush?” she says, taking my hand in hers. “Do you want to get a drink?”
“No, I can’t. Thanks, though.”
“We could go to my place, and relax,” she says, looking up into my eyes, squeezing my hand in hers.
A few weeks ago, I’d have probably gone. I could definitely stand to blow off some steam after finals, and getting laid always feels great after a show. It’s been a while, too, and handjobs aren’t nearly enough.
But I know I can’t. I don’t even want to.
“I can’t. Not tonight. I have plans.” The girl’s face crumbles, and I feel terrible. “Hey, it’s okay,” I say. “I really do have plans.”
She drops my hand like it’s on fire, and instantly looks embarrassed, though she tries to shrug it off. “Everybody says you’re a player, so it must be me, right?”
I’m not sure if I feel flattered or offended by her comment. “Just so you know, that’s kind of a myth. Not that I’ve lived like a monk or anything, but I’ve never been…”
“With a different girl every night?” she finishes.
“Yeah, no.” I’m torn between embarrassment and amusement now, explaining my sex life or lack thereof to this girl. “If that’s what someone told you, they’re way off. Not even a different girl every other night.” I wink and give her a grin, and am relieved to see that she looks okay now.
A couple of my bandmates come out just as the girl is leaving. “Maybe some other time,” she calls out as she waves goodbye.
“Dude, what was that? Did you just turn down that girl?” Josh, the drummer, says.
When I don’t answer, Nick, the lead guitarist, pipes in. “What is wrong with you? I’d have hit that.” He stares after the girl, frustrated. “You could have invited her in to meet the rest of us.”
“If she wanted to meet everyone, she’d have asked. She’s a person, not a blowup doll,” I say. I ignore Nick’s dirty look as I head out. “See you tomorrow.”
Other fans will be at the door soon. I take a shortcut through an alley and am back on campus after a few blocks. I’m checking the time and wondering if I should text Amber as I pass by BFOC. It’s still lit up brightly inside, and a flash of shiny golden brown hair catches my eye through the front window.
I’ve had a few times over the past couple of weeks when I’d thought I’d seen Amber, and it turned out to be someone else. Because she’s been on my mind, I guess I’ve started to see her everywhere. I expect the same thing to be happening now, but I look closer anyway.
This girl is sitting with a guy, leaning in close to him across the table, her hand resting on his. At first I assure myself that this couldn’t be Amber, but then her face turns in my direction, and I see for certain that it is.
What the fuck?
I’m so hung up on her that I turn down hookup offers from fans, I haven’t been laid in weeks, I’m all wrapped up in taking things slow with her, and she’s out with another guy?
I was stupid to think she was different.
My vision actually darkens as my anger flares. Before I can even think twice about it, I storm toward the entrance.
Chapter 29
Amber
“I’ve been in love with Megan since high school,” Eric says. “I’ve always been there for her. It was easy back then, but now she’s meeting all these new guys, and every time someone wants to hook up with her it nearly kills me. She’s always inviting me to go out with her, though. I know she likes me, but it’s not the same … I don’t know what to do.”
He pauses to take a sip of his coffee and I notice how tired he looks.
“I don’t want to lose her, but I can’t be on the sidelines anymore. It’s tearing me apart. What do you think?” He looks at me, half pleading, half desperate, all pain. “
You’re her roommate; you talk about all the girl stuff with her. Do I have even a snowball’s chance in hell? Is there someone else she’s serious about?”
“She hasn’t said anything like that to me. Have you ever told her how you feel?” I ask.
Eric’s voice rises in frustration. “How can she not know?” He nearly looks close to tears, and I cover his hand with mind and give it a squeeze.
“I’m no expert at this,” I say, “but if she’s the one, you have to fight for her. Make her see you. If you walk away, you’re through anyway, right? So you’ve got nothing to lose.”
The storm clears from his eyes. “You’re right,” he says. “You’re absolutely right. I needed to know if I’d be making an ass of myself, if she’s hung up on some other guy. But if there’s no one, then I just have to tell her.”
Now that he’s decided, he’s full of energy again. “Sorry to be rude,” he says, “but you don’t mind if I take off, do you?”
“Of course not.” I slide from my side of the booth and give him a big hug. “Good luck. I’m pulling for you.”
“Thanks.” He’s smiling as he leaves. I sling my bag over my shoulder and turn to follow.
When I see Aidan standing there, it’s so unexpected that I’m speechless for a moment. Not just that he’s here, instead of at Buzzkill with the band … but the look on his face is unlike any expression I’ve ever seen from him before.
“Nice,” he says, his voice carrying in the almost-empty restaurant. “Good to know how much you fucking care.”
The bitterness in his tone stuns me. “What? Aidan …”
He throws a hand up, cutting off my words. “Forget it. I’m not listening to any of your bullshit excuses.”
“Aidan,” I call as he turns and walks away, moving fast, not looking back. “Aidan!” I run after him, but when I burst through the doors he’s already out of sight.
Chapter 30
Amber
I cannot believe the way Aidan acted last night. It’s a really good things my finals are done, because I’m so angry I’m not sure I could see straight to take a test.