GRIND

Oh, he was so not going there…

“Could you please explain what you mean?” I asked as sweetly as I could, not doing very well at keeping the acid out of my voice.

He didn’t budge an inch. “I have an image to keep up, you know this. So please do tell me why you’re out there gallivanting around with this guy. This… this… stripper? It’s as if you’re only thinking of yourself nowadays.”

His words were like a slap right in my face. Was he fucking serious? “Thinking of myself? Dad, I’ve been handling this whole project at work because you asked me to do it! Doing everything under the sun that you wanted me to do, smiling for the cameras, trying to play my part. For you. How can you possibly think that I’m not on your side?”

This time he turned around, drumming his fingers on his dark wooden desk. “Do you have any idea how bad this makes me look? What this could possibly do to damage the campaign? I have some asshole named Demetrio trying to dig up every little bit of dirt he can on me, and then in the other corner, I have a newcomer who’s gaining on me in the polls. A woman who can claim the diversity card, no less. Her base is getting larger by the day. The very last thing I need is for something like this to get out, to make it look as if…”

I gritted my teeth. “As if what, exactly? Go ahead… Say it. You think I’m being trashy. Acting like some slut or something, right? Did I guess right, Dad?”

He took a few steps closer to me, barely kept anger boiling under the surface. This was definitely a side of him I hadn’t seen before. It was what I had feared, listening in to what he was saying about the reelection campaign the day before. He saw me as an obstacle getting in his way, not his daughter trying to live her life. And I didn’t know what to do to make him see otherwise.

“That was not what I was going to say. But I will admit, it doesn’t look good for you, that’s for damn sure. A stripper, Gabi? Really? You could have your pick of any man out there, any of them would be willing to throw themselves at you. You’re beautiful, young, rich, and learning to become more and more powerful. Then you go and get stuck with this kind of person?” He jabbed his finger in the direction of the newspaper he was holding up, pointing to the grainy black and white picture of me and Jacob. “Who the hell is this guy, anyway?”

I had to laugh, because what else could I do? “You really don’t know who he is, Dad? Maybe you should ask your girlfriend. You know, Jennifer?”

“She has nothing to do with this,” he hissed back at me.

I shook my head. “Actually, she has everything to do with this. I’m dating her son, you see. And I don’t know about you, but I don’t think she’d really appreciate how you’re talking about him. I just… I just can’t believe you’re treating me this way!”

“What do you expect, Gabi? I have a lot riding on this whole thing and—”

Tears welled up in my eyes, and no matter how hard I tried to hold them back, they slid down my face. “Who cares about the damn campaign? You’re treating me as if I’m personally out to destroy you or something, Dad! All I wanted to do was be happy, and you can’t even let me have that. I guess I should’ve expected differently from you. Everyone always thinks you’re some big badass who doesn’t give a damn about anyone else. I’ve always defended you, always stuck up for you and did everything you wanted me to do. And this is how you treat me? It’s so unfair. This is just so unfair,” I said, my voice shaking.

I could see his face softening only slightly before I turned on my heel and stormed out of his office, slamming the door behind me. Dad or not, he was being a total asshole about the whole thing.

Over the next week, I tried several times to text Jacob, letting him know about the fight between me and my dad. Surely he’d seen the news about us by then. And even though I knew he had some kind of test coming up soon, I couldn’t help but feel as though maybe he was ignoring me.

But he wouldn’t do that to me… Would he? Over the weekend, I even tried calling him, something I almost never did anymore. But even then, Jacob so wasn’t picking up. I had half a mind to go up to the strip club and call him out, make him answer me, because I couldn’t stand the thought that he was actually trying to avoid talking to me. What was going on with him?

Did I miss something? So many things were running through my mind as I listened to my friends over coffee, barely focused on whatever they were saying. I felt like shit for not paying them much attention, but I couldn’t help it. All of my thoughts were revolving around the guy that I thought I might be falling for. Except it was clear to me that things just weren’t the same. He must not have cared enough about me to see things through.

Feeling more than a little pathetic, I leaned back in my chair, pasting on the best smile I could manage in front of my friends. As much as it sucked, I had to keep my chin up anyway.

12

Jacob

It almost wasn’t fair, trying to ask me to focus on something as important as the next USMLE exam. I began studying for it as soon as I passed the first part, and had been for months since. But with everything going on with Gabi… I found myself slipping in my studies. And as much as she was starting to mean to me… I couldn’t let that happen. I’d worked way too hard to get to where I was to let anything get in the way. It hurt every time I saw her name on my phone. She was relentless, failing to see why I would ignore her.

Even I didn’t quite understand it, myself. But I knew I wasn’t going to be able to do what needed to be done unless I did. So when I got the official email, I waited until I was sitting down, getting ready to go have dinner with my mom, before opening it to see my score.

It was just a small chart, filled with numbers that didn’t mean anything at first until I saw the bold number at the top with my score—221. I had passed.

For a moment, it was all I could think of. My future was rolling out in front of me finally, and I was only one residency and one more test away from accomplishing my dream. I tried to bring myself up by remembering that but it was no use. I completely froze, only lucky enough once I was able to finally breathe again.

It was weird seeing the score, knowing what it meant, but also at the same time feeling numb. I wiped my hand on my pants, not realizing how sweaty my palms were. Maybe it was because I knew I was so close to getting what I wanted that it scared me. When I passed the first section of the test earlier on in the year, I didn’t feel much of anything except a huge relief from not having to bust my ass and study every single minute of my spare time. Of course, a few days later that completely changed, and I started doing it anyway.