Obsession

I don’t even need to look at Tilly to know she’s looking at me with wide eyes.

“I was going to head to that lake I found again tomorrow, would you and Tilly like to join me?”

“I can’t with your dad here sick, Landon, but thanks for the offer. I’m sure Tilly would be up for it though. It would be good for you guys to spend some quality time together.”

Yes, Rachel, it would absolutely.

“What do you say, Tilly?”

“I don’t know. I was going to work on my tan tomorrow.”

I know what you want to be working on instead, Tilly, so stop playing hard to get.

“You can work on your tan at the lake.”

She’s smiling at me and I know exactly what she’s thinking even though she’s not saying it.

“Then I’d have to spend time with you.”

“Who says we have to spend that time talking though?”

Tilly has to work hard not to smile at that.

“Well how else are you going to get to know each other? I mean, seriously. You kids these days don’t know how to communicate.”

I disagree with you on that one Rachel, Tilly knows exactly how to communicate, and I’m picking up loud and clear what she’s telling me. Play hard to get and I’ll enjoy it more. Beg and he won’t respect me.

“And Tilly, I think it’ll do you good to get out of the house. You spend enough time in it at home. Marvin and I would be jumping at the chance to come with you if he wasn’t convalescing.”

Tilly gives her mother a look of disdain that makes me laugh.

“I’m not the homemaker in this family, Mom.”

“No, clearly not.”

Rachel could be referring to the clothes strewn all over the living room floor that she felt like she had to tidy up into a neat pile in the corner, or the fact that Tilly never puts anything away after she uses it, or the fact that she doesn’t have a boyfriend yet, or seemingly any intention to get one. Whatever she means by it, Tilly’s clearly not impressed. I decide to divert the conversation back to my burgeoning fantasy of sex out in the middle of nowhere.

“So, what do you say, Tilly? You could make us both a picnic to take along.”

Tilly sticks both of her middle fingers up at me.

“Alright, you think about it. I’m going to go tomorrow anyway so you can come along if you want to or not. The offer’s there if you want to take it.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Good.”

“It might depend on how well I sleep.”

Is that a come on, Tilly? Are you trying to say one thing and tell me another.

“I think we could all do with a good night’s sleep. I’m absolutely shattered after what happened last night. Your dad took me from pillar to post.”

“You’re not the only one.”

“I told you all not to worry.”

“While trying to puke all over my car.”

“At least you’ve all got beds to sleep in.”

“You’ve got a bed, Tilly, you’re just not using it.”

“Landon’s right, darling. Maybe you should just swallow your pride and allow yourself a good night’s sleep for once.”

I’m nodding, perhaps more enthusiastically than I should. Even with Tilly lying in bed next to me, there is no way we’d be able to do anything without being heard. It would be even worse. It would be an exercise in absolute torture. It would be a real test to see how much we could both resist. It would make me so horny too, knowing we both want to but knowing we both can’t as well, not until the following day, and perhaps not even then either. On reflection, maybe it’s best if we didn’t at all, just because I know how difficult it would be. Fuck.

“Maybe I should.”

“Absolutely you should.”

My eyes go to Dad. This could be awful for both of us, yet Tilly will know exactly that and is not backing down. What she’s done is take the decision to do it very cleverly away from her.

“I remember having to sleep for months either on a sofa or on a hard floor when Landon’s mother and I were splitting up, it’s absolute hell. I’m surprised you’ve lasted so long already.”

Tilly smiles at me.

“You don’t mind, Landon, do you? I’m a pretty quiet sleeper.”

“No, absolutely not. Maybe then you’ll feel refreshed enough to come with me tomorrow.”

“Maybe I will.”

Tilly

That was a little unexpected, I have to say. I have quite a nice bruise developing on my elbow where I smashed into the decking, another on my toe where I stubbed it trying to right myself before anyone noticed my somewhat strange reaction. I don’t think Mom or Marvin thought there was anything unusual about my behaviour, nor the fact that my dress was pretty much hanging off me, Landon was semi-naked and sweaty, or that they had to duck a football flying towards them like a missile. So much for liberal parenting I guess.

Marvin’s illness has completely subsided, replaced by a thick coating of medication that has him smiling a little more enthusiastically than normal and chatting more heartily than he has ever done before.

Landon is just as disappointed at their sudden arrival as I am, which means that he does secretly want me much more than he is prepared to let on. He wants me so much, in fact, he’s engineered a day trip out of the house which will make it much easier for us to fuck each other. I would love to see the look on his face if I turned around and refused his advances, but the problem is, I know that I probably won’t be able to.

I’m going to struggle tonight as it is being in the same bedroom with him. This is my idea after all, not so that we can fuck, I know that’s going to be nearly impossible, but so that we can want each other even more, and the connection becomes ever more difficult to reverse. I say that it’s going to be nearly impossible for us to fuck, that doesn’t mean that I don’t want it, nor that he doesn’t either.

Mom and Marvin have already gone to bed, while Landon and I are sat together in the living room still, him on his two seater couch, me opposite, pretending to read a book, thinking about how I can phrase the things I want to say to him without being too obvious that Mom will pick up on it. It looks like he’s doing the same as well, because right now isn’t the first time he’s nodded towards the bedroom insisting that we move towards it.

My mattress is still on top of his, left there earlier before we moved out first into this room, secondly onto the decking to continue our game. Mom would have seen it had she gone into that room, and if she had, I wonder whether she would have continued to believe that what was clearly developing between Landon and I was still nothing but a sibling bond.

I wonder if I’ll move it. I’ll have to of course, but I wonder if I will.

Landon decides that he’s had enough. We can hear Marvin snoring so we know he’s asleep, not that it really matters anyway, but Mom is still turning over in the bed, perhaps overtired from the events early this morning, perhaps concerned that they’ll happen again.

When Landon passes me, I reach out and grab his arm momentarily. I shouldn’t, but I can’t stop myself and when he smiles down at me I immediately let go.

“Bedtime, Tilly. Are you coming in now?”

I put my finger to my lips to shush him, even though there really is no reason too. We’re sleeping in the same room as stepbrother and stepsister, not in the same bed as lovers. Not yet, anyway. If I don’t go now, he might not allow me to take my mattress away

. I might have to sleep on top of him, writhing away on that immenseness as quietly as humanly possible.

Maybe I shouldn’t go at all.

“Yes.”

I follow Landon into the bedroom, my heart in my mouth, barely able to breathe. What am I doing here? How on earth have we allowed this to happen? I’m so tense I could snap, so horny I might explode just by thinking about it.

Landon closes the door behind him and then for a moment we just stare at each other from a distance away, his heart beating so hard I can see it pounding in his chest, my breath so short I have to gulp at it to get enough down.

We are alone again. Alright, Mom and Marvin are practically next door, behind a wall made of paper and we can hear exactly what they are doing, which, in turn, means they can hear exactly what we are doing, but aside from that it’s just him and me. The Donkey and Tilly. Stepbrother and stepsister. Not quite lovers, but not just family any more either.

I eye the mattress. Landon eyes it too. I bite my lip and Landon steps forward. I should stop him, but I don’t.

“We can’t.”

I say it so quietly I can barely hear the words myself.

“I know.”

He is close enough to kiss, his hands around my back, pulling me into him.

“Tomorrow”, I say, confirming what he already knows is true.

“Tomorrow”, he repeats, the word soft on my ear, chased by a silent kiss to my neck.

In his grasp, I am so horny I’m shivering. I can feel him swelling against my inner thigh. I should pull away, but I can’t. I knew I wouldn’t be able to.

If we don’t make a noise, they’ll never know.

“I think we should get ready for bed.”

I nod, silently. “We can’t”, I say again, the words lost in the moan that follows, while Landon traces the tips of his fingers slowly down my spine.

“We aren’t.”

When he gathers the hem of my dress in his hands, I don’t complain, and when he lifts it expertly over my head, instead of commanding him to stop, I lift my hands up to make it easier for him.

A second later his T-shirt is on the floor, and we are facing each other again, this time semi-naked.