The Resolution of Callie & Kayden (The Coincidence 6)

Dylan’s shoulders slump, probably from the weight of the memories of our father. ‘Kayden, you shouldn’t let that – him – stop you from doing anything. It only gives him more power over your life. If football makes you happy, then do it. I know it’s hard, but you need to let this thing with Dad go. Let the past go. And I think once you do, you’ll stop hearing all that fucked up shit he said to you all the time – you’ll be able to play for you.’

‘You pretty much just stated word for word what my therapist said,’ I tell him then heave a heavy sigh. ‘And I know I should … and I’m trying to. It’s just going to take some time for me to figure shit out.’ I set the can down on the table, then cross my arms as I recline in the sofa, wondering if there will ever be a time I can play for me and just love/love the game. I sure as hell hope so. ‘I have a ways to go, though … I mean, I still fuck up sometimes with certain things.’ I’m not going to go any further than that, as I’m not ready to talk to him about my cutting disorder.

‘Everyone does that. It’s called life, Kayden.’

‘Yeah, I know.’

A gap of silence goes by and I start to focus back on the game. Someone just scored a touchdown and the crowd is going wild. The sight puts me in a state of contentment, like it does whenever I’m playing.

‘What about that Callie girl you’re dating?’ he asks, drawing my attention back to him. ‘Are you still seeing her?’

I move to grab my soda. ‘Yeah, we actually just got our own place right before I headed out here.’

His eyes widen in astonishment. ‘Shut the fuck up. Seriously?’ he asks and I nod, caught off guard by his excitement. ‘Wow, I didn’t know you guys were that serious. You never really seemed like you were on the phone. Then again, you barely talk about your private life either, so …’ he trails off, looking sort of sad.

‘Don’t take that personally,’ I say. ‘I only talk about that stuff with Callie.’

He nods, relaxing a little. ‘Wow, you are fucking serious with this girl, aren’t you?’

‘Who’s serious with a girl?’ Liz interrupts our conversation as she comes strolling in with a plate full of what looks like burnt squash. I didn’t even know you could burn squash.

‘Kayden,’ Dylan tells her at the same time I say, ‘No one.’

Dylan’s grin is conniving as he looks from me to Liz. ‘Callie and Kayden moved in together.’

‘Really.’ Her eyes light up as she sets the plate down on the coffee table. ‘That’s so huge, Kayden. Why didn’t you tell us?’

Again, Dylan looks hurt and it makes me feel slightly remorseful. Maybe I’ve been going about this whole getting-to-know-your-family thing all wrong. Maybe I shouldn’t have been shutting them out as much as I have been. But it’s difficult to let people in when I know how bad people can hurt you. Still, I decide to try because I know if Callie were here, that’s what she’d want me to do.

‘Sorry, I think it just slipped my mind. I’m not used to telling people things, I guess.’

‘Well, that I do get,’ he says, nervously cracking his knuckles. ‘I’ve actually been needing to talk to you about something.’

I can tell by his tone what it’s about. ‘You found out more about our parents, didn’t you?’

‘I got a call from Mom this morning, but I’ve been procrastinating about telling you because I didn’t want to ruin the trip. But I guess we’re never going to have much of a relationship if we don’t start talking to each other, are we?’ he asks, and even though I’m not too thrilled to hear more about Mom and Dad, I nod. He wavers, uncertainty filling his expression. ‘She actually wanted to tell me about our father.’ Another long pause as he squirms in the chair. ‘It’s bad, Kayden. Dad, I mean … he’s in bad shape.’

I’m fairly sure an entire set of commercials plays before I’m able to get ahold of my voice and my emotions enough to respond. ‘How bad?’

Resolution.

This is what you wanted, right?

You are a terrible person.

‘Really, really bad,’ Dylan says, releasing an exhausted breath.

It’s strange, but it seems like we should be crying or something, yet our eyes are dry. My heart feels the same way, too, and those thoughts of how I’ve got to be a bad person come rushing back to me because this can’t be normal – to feel nothing toward the person who raised you. Regardless, that’s how I feel.

Absolutely nothing.

‘I think he’s going to die,’ Dylan says quietly.

And again, nothing.

I think Callie might have been wrong because there’s no way I’m not broken.

Chapter 18

#159 Don’t Panic When Things Get Brutally Ugly.

Callie

It’s the day after Thanksgiving and the house I grew up in is already sparkling with Christmas lights, a tree in need of decorating, and tons of cut-out snowflakes. My mother is one of those people who loves the holidays to the point where it might be an unhealthy obsession. However, after years and years of it, my brother, father, and I have learned to tolerate it. We’ve also learned how to avoid countless hours of trimming the tree with silver balls and tinsel.

‘I can’t believe she bought your lie this time,’ my brother Jackson says from the front seat of my father’s truck as he fidgets with the stereo. ‘Telling her we’re going to buy some replacement bulbs for the lights, even though all of them are up. I still can’t believe you actually took a couple of the bulbs out so some wouldn’t work.’

Jackson looks better than he used to; less stoner/pothead and more hipster. He’s been attending community college in Florida where my grandparents live and works as a manager at an electronic store. I’m glad to see him like this, instead of the druggie jerk he was when he had spent so much time with Caleb.

My father chuckles as he turns the wipers up a notch. ‘I’ve been having to get more creative with my excuses to get out of the house. Picking up Callie was a long one.’ He grins at me from over his shoulder. ‘And a good one, too.’

I smile back then watch the snowflakes splatter against the window. The snow hasn’t let up since he picked me up from Laramie three days ago. No one I knew was going that way and Kayden was worried his car wasn’t safe enough to get me there with how bad the roads have been. When I told my dad this, he not only got excited to come get me, but he also remarked what a great guy Kayden was for thinking of my safety.