The Bookworm's Guide to Dating (The Bookworm's Guide 1)

He stared at me for what felt like forever. The betrayal I saw in his eyes churned my gut, and the guilt that spread through my body like a wildfire physically hurt.

I knew he wouldn’t hit me.

But I kind of wanted him to.

“Don’t,” he said, holding up one finger. “Don’t talk to me.”

Then he turned, stalking off in the direction of the gate that led to the parking lot. I moved to follow him, but Kai blocked me, his tall frame towering over mine.

“Don’t.” His voice was soft as he rested his hands on my upper arms. “You’ll only make it worse right now. Let him calm down.”

I swallowed and dropped my gaze. Rationally, I knew he was right, but that didn’t mean I wanted to.

I felt absolutely awful.

I knew it would hurt him when he found out, but he wasn’t supposed to find out like this. Not surrounded by half the damn town when he was having his own relationship issues.

I would never be able to forgive myself for this.

Ever.

“Grandma, I can’t believe you!” Tori exploded from somewhere behind me, breaking the silence.

“And you, Grams!” Saylor snapped, making me turn around. “Why couldn’t you keep your mouths shut?”

At least someone was asking the important questions.

“That was not your information to share!” Tori continued, poking her finger at Agatha. “Regardless of it being the truth, it’s their business.”

Josh stood up and worked his jaw from side to side, wincing when he moved it to the right. “Jesus.”

Oh, God.

I shook off Kai’s gentle hold and rushed over to him, moving his hand so I could look. His skin was turning a fetching shade of blue and purple beneath his stubble, and another overwhelming wave of sadness washed through me.

“Come on. We need to get ice on that.” I looped my arm through his and pulled him in the same direction Colton had stalked off in minutes ago. “Anywhere but here.”

Josh grunted in agreement, and the last thing I heard was his grandma, Vicki, saying, “I knew those ducks would be trouble.”***“Here. This should help.” I sat next to Josh and pressed the gel ice pack against his jaw.

He winced at the touch and took it from me. “Thanks.”

I curled up against the back of my sofa and rested my head on the cushions, sighing heavily.

Josh reached over and rested his hand on my thigh. He slowly rubbed it in a reassuring move, but I didn’t think anything would make me feel better right now.

“That was a shitshow,” he said in a tight, muffled voice. He was clearly trying not to move his jaw too much to talk, and I laid my hand on top of his. Our fingers linked easily together, and Josh turned to look at me.

I could see how much his jaw hurt by the pain in his eyes. “Let me get you some Tylenol.”

“Stop fussing, Kinsley,” he ground out. “I’ll be fine.”

“You have a baseball on your jaw! You are not fine!” I shoved his hand from my leg and got up, storming into the kitchen. I yanked the drawer open so hard I almost ripped it off the runners, then rifled through it looking for the Tylenol or any other painkiller I had on hand.

After finding a half-empty Tylenol bottle, I fetched a bottle of water from the fridge and went back to Josh in the living room. I threw them both on the sofa next to him, and he sighed.

“I don’t want to argue with you, babe. It won’t fix anything.”

Deflated, I sat back down and opened the Tylenol bottle to shake out two pills for him. “I know. I’m just—I’m so frustrated. We should have told him as soon as they figured it out.” I buried my fingers in my hair and looked past him to the window and out onto my front yard. “I feel so bad.”

Josh put the gel pack on the coffee table with another wince and took the pills I offered. I helped him by undoing the cap on the water bottle, then passed it over after he’d tossed the pills in his mouth.

He groaned through the whole process of swallowing them and drinking water.

“Should we go to the emergency room?” I asked, eying the bruising.

“And tell them what?” he said, putting the ice pack back on his face. “That my girlfriend’s brother found out about our relationship and gave me a fair right hook?”

Well, when he said it like that… “Should have hit me, too,” I muttered.

“Like he would do that. Come here.” He motioned for me to cuddle into him, and I carefully shuffled up the sofa and rested my head against his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around me and let his head fall so that his cheek was resting on top of my head.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in, just focusing on the way it felt to be wrapped in his arms right now. It was comfortable and soothing, and as I felt the beating of his heart beneath my hand, calm began to move through my body.